Massages

My birthday was great. Cake was involved so, how can the day be bad? We have eaten three different cakes in four days. Not a bad record, if you ask me.

One of my birthday gifts from my husband is an hour massage at my hair salon/spa tomorrow. The appointment has been made with the "best" masseuse.
I have to get into a mindset to get my massage, which I indulged in often BK (before kids) but I realized I haven't had one since a pregnancy massage when I was 8 months pregnant. I am due.
I have to keep calm and not worry during my massage, are my legs hairy? does anything about me smell? don't pull that towel down too much my fat is hiding! are my boobs peeking out? do I have back fat? Ohhhh, her hand is going up a little high on my thigh, is she going to touch it? That is too high! Alert, alert, she is going to touch my vagina, easy lady!

Oh things like that don't go through your mind when you have a massage? You must be normal.

I am not.

Not to mention I still get mad at myself tucking my underwear under my clothes like I do at my gyn's office, but I have to do it.
I mean, there is nothing like making sure nobody sees your underwear on a chair, in the corner, when you are lying nude on a table and going to be touched all over by another woman.


BTW, when/if you get massages do you always go with a women or man?