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The thing is I don't like going to the mall with them, especially alone. They are great kids, they are not the problem. The problem is dumb people. What I am going to do is put some answers top some common asked questions and then just hand them out & be on my way. No more awkward answers and strangers lingering around us, just pass out the leaflet & go. Or maybe I could make signs & then just hold them up over my head while we walk around the mall.
Some of my answers will be:
Yes, they are twins, see how they are the same exact age? That makes them twins.
No, they are not identical. One is a boy & the other is a girl, that means they CANNOT be identical. Duh, ma'am
Yes, my daughter is bigger then my son. By one inch and one pound, twins are not the exact weight & height, especially if they are NOT identical.
Yes, having twins is hard. I am glad it is me and not you either. Actually, I hate you.
I see that one is missing a shoe, that happens. I ate it.
Yes, I am busy. Right now I am busy dodging stupid questions from stupid people.
and finally the rudest question of them all:
Yes, I did have them naturally. Really my fertility is none of your business and if I had IVF to get them doesn't make them any less special but if you need to know: my husband and I had sex for hours and we got pregnant, I let out more then one egg, because I am crazy like that, and he let out millions of sperms and we got two instead of one.
Thanks for making me spit my lunch all over the keyboard, with the I ate the shoe comment!
ReplyDelete"...I let out more then one egg, because I am crazy like that..."
ReplyDeleteToo funny. I would love to see the look on people's faces when you tell them your answers.
You're still living my life (or at least you're visiting my malls). I hate the stupid questions. I've had people ask if my twins were related and then if they were identical all in the same day. I could have smacked the woman who insisted, "They don't look like twins." They are twins. That's how they look, so they do, in fact, look like twins.
ReplyDeleteI swear people think a double stroller is a free pass to make stupid comments.
When mine were tiny, I considered putting up signs on the stroller that answered all the stupid questions before they were asked. Never did, though because I figured then people would just stop not only to ask the EXACT SAME QUESTIONS, but also to comment on the signs.
When I get really frustrated with the morons, I use the snarky answers to the stupid questions. It's fun because then you get to see all the funny expressions.