The One Where I am on TV

So I was contacted from someone who works for ABC and reads this blog. She liked it so much she would like for me to audition for the show "Wife Swap". If you are not familiar with the show, it is about two wives who swap lives for two weeks to see how other families live.
I like the show, but for me?

Can you imagine, I would probably be the woman that has to swap lives with someone who has all teenage boys who miss the seat when they pee and leave dirty plates under the bed. I would probably have to shovel horse manure for my job and have pluck my new husband's nose hairs.
That is not for me.
Plus I would have to pretend I am a better house cleaner then I am for the sake of television. I would also have to wake up extra early and put on mascara and comb my hair so the world will think I am a "beautiful morning person".

I could never leave my babies to the care of a perfect stranger so I could never do it, but imagine if I did. How fun!

Tuesday swaps lives with a right wing/conservative/bible preaching/racist/dirty/mullet having/squirrel eating/loser family and kicks some ass on national television.

Good stuff.