Friendless Friend

This weekend I was invited to my friend's baby shower. Out of my three closest friends two of them are pregnant with their first child. My third friend has a two year old boy.
It is exciting and strange to see your best friends pregnant, I assume they thought the same when I was pregnant, the first friend to be pregnant. It is a funny thing to see the girls you have known since high school, whom you partied with, cried over boyfriends and who know you as well as your husband does. We have been through a lot with each other, but we stayed close, best friends.

I don't want to replace my friends from home with new ones here, but I want to add to them. I know who I can call late at night when my darkest fears surface, who will support me no questions asked and where to go if I want an honest opinion of my outfit.
Now I want friends who enjoy my company, would like to hang out with and without our kids. I want someone to shop with, get a manicure or go get coffee. A surface friend.
If they become someone to call crying that would be a bonus.

I am lucky, I already have that.

Glad You Liked It!

The baby shower cake I made it easy and people love it including the bride or Mom to be.
The one I made was three tiers, and was decorated with hats, bibs, blankets, pacifiers and toys.
It also looks nice on a display table as guests come in.

If you want directions on how to make one, or if you want me to make one for a special occasion you have coming up, email me.

Shower Fun

Look how cute this diaper cake I made is. I have a baby shower tomorrow and I forgot to buy something. I whipped this up last night.
Easy and fun!

Sleep? What Sleep?

I am a product whore. I love nice smelling soaps, lotions and potions. In my bathroom there is no less then four different shampoos and conditioners, two different sugar scrubs, one shampoo/conditioner in one and two different scented shaving creams.
I don't want to tell you how many lotions I have or different makeup samples, because I am a sucker for a free gift with purchase.
LOVE the free gift with purchase.

Alas, my product stockpiling and the lack of space* I have for such products is a different post for a different day.
What I need is help for you ladies. We all know with kids we get little to no sleep, so I have a little problem known as dark under eye circles.
With twins I have double the dark eye circles.

I need something that will help. I am aware that hylexin is a good product but I wanted to see if there was something else out there that works well before I have to give my husband a heart attack when I tell him my dark circles are only going to go away with cream that costs as much as our groceries for the week.
I like food but I like not looking like a vampire better.

So, girls, what works for you?





* Have you guys seen Kimora Lee Simmons cribs episode where she practically had a 8x10 room for all her products? Rows and rows of expensive creams and makeup, all lined up neatly and beautifully.
That was the best part of her 92783 room mansion and I am so jealous.
I know where she lives in Jersey, 10 minutes from my hometown, bitch better watch herself.

Anti-Dentite

Today I took the kids to the dentist for the first time. I was apprehensive to go with them alone, but E had taken off so much time for me already this year I didn't want to ask him to go with me.
The office was beautiful, clean and filled with toys, xbox games and flatscreen tvs blaring Go, Diego Go and other fun shows. I wanted to ask if I could do my dentistry there, as I never feared the dentist until I became an adult and things started to go wrong.
When I say "go wrong" I mean cavities and, oh yeah, my dentist molested two women under sedation.
Yeah, he did and they got him on tape admitting to it, and I will have to leave for another post how both my mom and grandmother still go to him.
THEY STILL GO TO THE MOLESTER DENTIST!

Ahem, my kids were tired this morning so I knew I was going to have to go in for the bribe, which was new stickers from Target.
It worked.
My daughter went first and did wonderful, she was just terrific and I am so proud. The only problem is that she has a small cavity in one of her molars.
I feel terrible, since E and I are the ones to brush their teeth, we didn't do that great of a job, obviously.
I am slightly surprised though because they really do not get candy at all, and they only get a splash of juice with 9oz of water every day. The only things I know are bad that my kids got as big treats for going on the potty are those terrible gummy juice treats, that stick to your teeth like glue.

My son didn't want to go, but I mentioned stickers again and he was in the chair like a flash. Besides reminding him to open really wide a few times he also did fantastic.

I am proud of my big kids, they did what they needed to, got some prizes and stickers and are now in for a well needed nap.
Now I have to sit down with E and talk about how to brush their teeth better, and talk about this cavity business, because I am not too crazy about the entire process.

Actually, it is my turn to go to the dentist and I know I have cavities and I wish my kids could come with me and hold my hand.
I need someone to hold my hand.
God, I hate the dentist.

Twin Talk

I really never write about my kids on this blog too often. I think it is a little bit of my paranoia of people in my real life finding this blog and a little bit of me just wanting to keep my kids to myself.
Really they are amazing kids and I am so happy to be their mom every day.

I had no idea I was having twins until my first ultrasound. There are no twins in my family (twins running on the husband's side doesn't count) and I wasn't on fertility treatments.
I was just lucky and I do now know why they were sent to me.
To save me.

It is so funny watching them grow together, rely on each other, look for one another when they are uncomfortable.
My daughter, B, is the extrovert, the one who will play with other kids, the one to break away from her brother or us easier.
My son, A tends to look for her support and will follow her where ever she goes. He will stick by Mom and be more loving, she is much too busy for that.
She makes the friends for him and he will follow her lead.

As you can expect we have a lot of toys. What is great about having boy/girl twins is that we have "boy" toys and "girl" toys. They have grown up playing with cars, superheroes and trains just as much as princesses, dolls and tea sets. They love to play with both sets of toys and I think it is extremely healthy and fun.
We never set toys as "girls" or "boys" toys, we never wanted to limit their thinking of what, socially, is or is not acceptable to play with, although now my son will say things like "that is for girls" or "No, I don't want that, B would like it, though".
We are fine with that.

They have never lived a day without the other, a constant playmate, a forever friend. That has been easier on me, so I can get things done around the house instead of always having to be the entertainment.
I wonder how independent they will become at preschool, I wonder if they will still rely on each other as much. I also think about the day when they have separate interests and friends. Will they still be as close because of their twin bond? Will they be as close as same sex twins?

Caring for two little babies at once was hard and demanding, especially because E and I did it ourselves, but I think this part of parenting is much harder.
Helping them become people, who value each other, who don't hit and give each other well deserved privacy in the bathroom.
Making sure they have enough alone mommy and daddy time, and time to be apart for one another.
When we do separate them for alone time, like a trip to the grocery store or bookstore, soon enough the one will ask for the other. As if they couldn't stand to have this experience without sharing it with their other half.
I love that about them.

There is no doubt I am blessed.
Twice over.

The One Where I Vent

I will start off saying, I know there are far more better things to complain about and I shouldn't be venting about a luxury so few people in this world are able to enjoy, but let us remember this is my blog.
And I'll cry if I want to.

I really need a break, a vacation, a holiday, a getaway and I need it soon.

If you remember, E & I were going to spend 5 days in the Bahamas in early April and E's parents were going to come here to watch the kids for us, so it can be a "real" vacation.
Then we were brought back into reality and how fucked we sometimes get, with my delightful cancer journey.
So the trip was off, because my surgeon's first available appointment was that particular week, and if you are told you have cancer, you don't want to wait to get out every single bad cell as soon as possible.
Plus, what kid of vacation would it be if I had to worry about coming home to have surgery?

So when I finally recovered, the money allocated for a small vacation was spent, I am sure on something trivial, like food or clothing.

Now we are in desperation phase and I need some time away, and it doesn't look like I am going to get it any time soon.
I am tired of parenting all day every day, I want to reprogram myself and relax for a couple of days without worrying about two other small people and if they have eaten/pooped/slept. I have done that with no more then a 8 hour break for three and a half years.

If you worked at a job like that, you would come in one day firing a gun, and that is what I am trying to avoid.
Going on a break would be what is best for the kids, E & I but right now financially, especially with the kids starting preschool in a month, we cannot afford it, and we don't have anyone to watch the kids anyway.

That is my bitch of the day, and it sucks that I am starting the week off like this, but this is how I feel this morning.

The Bodies of Mothers

This is a wonderful blog.
It is inspiring and it made me feel like I am not alone with my "new" body.
Our bodies are wonderful and strong, we should really celebrate them more.

TGIF

Thanks guys, I went to AC Moore and found lots of stuff to do with the kids, they love arts & crafts AND I found the old fashioned photo albums for stickerbooks.
That place is a lot of fun. Everyone in the world must be scrapbooking but me, they have a ton of stuff for them in every aisle. I would like to scrapbook, it seems like a great hobby but I wouldn't know where to begin and I don't know anyone that does it.
It brings us back to the no friends thing.

In other events, my kids really crack me up. Yesterday my son grabs his crotch and says "this is my penis!"
My daughter says "And I have a bagina!", my son agrees with her and then they tell me, I have a bagina and dad has a penis because he is a boy.
They are accurate, and for that I am thankful, but I wish this conversation didn't take place in a store.
With people.
That heard the whole thing.
Sigh.
Hey, the conversation amused me and since my kids are my only friends and I am with them 24/7, I may as well laugh with them.

Stickerbook Revisited

Last month I posted about sticker books and how I wanted to get one for each of my kids. My mother send them stickers in all of their holiday cards and my grandmother always gives them cool stickers, but I wanted some place to put them all, instead of all of our clothes.

I loved my sicker book as a kid, I had an awesome three ring binder filled with all of my "theme" pages. The Scratch and sniff page, the all hello kitty page, the puffy page and at the end all my doubles are stinky ones for trading.
So. Much. Fun.
But, maybe they were simpler times.

You guys had some good suggestions, I was going to make my own, but I think they would tear the pages, they are still rough page turners.
I tried to find cheap photo albums the ones with the vellum overlays, but I can't find them, I don't think they make them anymore.
I am not into scrapbooking but could someone tell me where to find cheap scrapbooks? They might be my last hope for a stickerbook.

Shit Mitts

I am so glad I am not alone with the love for these nifty potty mitts. *
It is good to know I can go in on a case of these suckers with some of you germ-a-phobes.
I love, love , love it.
Those mitts, in combination with these will provide just the right amount of protection that I am looking for (yes, I am sick). AND you need protecting, have you seen restroom toilets lately? I wouldn't let my dog shit in some of the restrooms I have been in.


Now when I am out in a public toilet I will look around for some of you potty mitt lovers . When I find you, I will give you the look of victory and I will nod, knowing your germ free plight, and you will nod back with a tear in your eye, for you have finally found someone who understands.

I am that person.







* some of you comment that you wish you thought of these things, and I would like you to know I SOO invented this many, many years ago.
Yes, I am pissed that I never followed through with it because now we would be talking about how fucking rich I am off of "Tuesday's shit mitts".

Summer Days

It is hot here, really hot. I know it is summer and it is supposed to be hot, I just feel so intolerant to the heat since I became a Mom.
Having a sticky sweaty baby hanging onto you doesn't help.
Neither does: having sand in every crevice of three bodies instead of just myself after a day at the beach, applying hot sunscreen or having to swim in a pool with other people attached to your body.

Swimming was way more fun before you had to worry about little things, like children drowning.
The beach was so much more fun before you had to drag 40 beach toys, umbrellas, extra towels, changes of clothes, SPF 1000 sunscreen, snacks and juice.

Summers are different now, my days are spent wondering how to entertain little ones with no concern for my own wants or needs.
Ok, who is kidding who, with a little concern for my wants and needs.

I have gotten new summer joys from them.
Seeing their faces light up when they hear the ice cream man, watching them climb the play equipment with ease, the same one they couldn't climb a few months before. Catching fireflies at dusk. Ice Pops after a long day in the kiddy pool.

Little things, that make me so happy to be a Mom.
AND, I am very glad I don't live in Arizona.

OCD like Me!

Finally something for the OCD parent, like me.

I am actually buying these, I can't believe it but I love them.

Bread Goes Last, Dear

My Mom came to visit us this weekend, which was great. I love when she gets to come down and spend a couple of days with us and the kids REALLY love it.

While she was here, we ran some errands and went to the supermarket. While we were checking out she said to me "put the heavy items first, then the light items so they don't get squashed". THIS piece of advice has been given to me by my Mom no less then 597 times in my life. I live by it, it was pounded into my head and I would never dare stray from it, but it made me laugh.
After all this time, after thousands of shopping trips with and without her, even though I am an adult and have my own family she is still there with her advice or strongly worded opinions.
And I love it.

I wished E was there so he could see where all my, shall we say, idiosyncrasies, are from. Picking out the magazines from the back, so they aren't wrinkled, picking out frozen foods from the back so they are colder, packing the shopping cart just so.
E would have laughed, I have turned into her!
It is also safe to say I repeated this sage piece of loading the groceries onto the checkout to E before. Many times. But he is a boy and doesn't listen, so I have to keep telling him.
And that was when he declined shopping with me anymore.
I don't blame him one bit, I get it.


My poor daughter has no idea what she is in for!

Nude Blogging!

Ahh, back to the mundane rituals of life.
Eating, sleeping, cleaning, cooking, watering of the grass, ect.

I was thinking of a way to make them more interesting. I think I have found it. I am doing all of my mundane things nude.
Naked.
Free as a bird.

It stops you from eating to much because you can watch your stomach grow by the bite.

Sleeping nude is terrific, no pesky underwear to pull down for those middle of the night pee sessions.

Cleaning nude prevents you from getting those cleaners on your clothes, if you get some on your body just hop into the shower! Clean your shower and your body!!

Cooking nude is tricky, never ever fry anything. You can play "who gets the curly hair in their plate" every night.
The winner will never eat again.

Go ahead put on some sunscreen and then water that grass. I may finally be able to make new friends in the neighborhood. Plus, if I get hot will just sprinkle myself with the hose.
I may even get a tan in those hard to reach places.


Of course I do not plan on doing all my chores naked, but it might be fun for one day. Don't fear I would never, ever go outside naked.
After all, I had twins remember, I would never get a new friend after that sight.

Boo

Operation fertilization has failed. I got my period last night, and it is the worst period eva.

Oh, well there is always next month!

Great Mom Expectations

Thank you to everyone who wants to be my new friend. I have many available positions, so I will be able to make all of you my friends.

Writing the post on not having friends here made me think of all the expectations that I had before I went on maternity leave and had to move an hour south from my hometown. Like how great of a Mom I would be and how I would cook every night and never ever complain because I got to stay at home! I would have a "school lesson" every day! No more dressing up for work! Playdates will be plentiful!

I could not have been in for a more rude awakening.
It is hard being a Mother and it is a lonely job. That, is what nobody ever tells you.
I do complain because if I didn't vent I would have exploded by the third month of momdom.
I thought making friends with kids would be a lot easier, I thought playdates would be like my lunch dates at work, thrown at me left and right, never having to eat by myself. I thought I would be the popular Mom, because I was the popular friend, schoolmate and co-worker my entire life.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother to these two wonderful children, I love them more then I could ever express. They saved my life, and for that I could never repay them.
It was just that my expectations of being a stay at home Mother were so different then reality, that I wondered if I was delusional.
I now think that I was expecting too much from myself because I so wanted to be that perfect wife and Mother, not remembering that there is no such thing, that we all are out there trying our best and our kids are always our first priority.

We are all in the same boat whether you work outside of the home or inside, we do all have the same goals and wants for our children. I just wish we didn't bash each other for our choices so much and celebrated that we are able to make these choices for ourselves and our family.
If we women could get our act together, we could really fix this world.
But, I digress.

I may not take the kids to scheduled activities every day, and I may cook dinner only 90% of the time and our financial sacrifices may be greater then ever expected on one salary, at the end of the day, to forget all my worries and that huge mess still left to clean, I can still make a mean drink.

And really, isn't that what it is all about anyway?

Friends

It is no secret that I have no friends where I live. All my friends are in North Jersey where I am from. They are all friends from high school or work and they all pretty much live close to the county I grew up in.
When we moved down here we never thought it would be hard to make friends, I imagined playdates, meeting cool Moms at gymboree and surely E would make a ton of friends in his new territory.
Not true.

I met a few people at gymboree, many of them working mothers, so playdates were out. I met one cool Mom from a meetup group and we had a couple of playdates and I really liked her, but she also went back to work.
At the park all the Moms seem to know each other and I am really too busy making sure my twins are not running into the street or being abducted to spend time trying to make a friend.

Our neighbors are all great people but 99% of them are much older then us. Like 30 years older. They are great, but we don't have too much in common and I don't picture myself hanging out drinking, quoting lines from Dave Chappelle or Napoleon Dynamite till 3am with them.

Now that is the kind of friends we are looking for.

I am lonely here and I wish the kids would have some other playmates besides E & I. They are terribly bored of us.

Maybe these are all excuses because I find it hard to make new friends, because I do. I swear I am nice, funny and loyal- all great characteristics for a friend.
I will tell you if your shoes are ugly, but in a nice way. I will call you to see if you want to get coffee if I know you are having a bad day and I will send you a note after you have your first child telling you I know, I have been there and if you need anything, even to vent, I am there for you.

Now really, how do I make new friends??

Four Day Weekends are Hard Work

We watched Fireworks.
We ate cotton candy.
We swam, alot.
We ate hot dogs, watermelon, chicken and one too many cupcakes.
We played with our cousins.
We ran, climbed, swung and jumped at the park.


Why after the whole weekend was packed with fun, are my kids still fighting a nap today?