Motherhood is a strange thing, to have your heart walking
outside your body, to care for a small person whom you have never met before but the instant you see them you know you would die for them. Give up your entire life so they will no longer feel pain, you would suffer in their place in an instant, it would be a decision that would need no thought.
My own mother is a wonderful mother. She was my friend and a friend to my friends, she was a nurse and a teacher and a protector. We had rough patches, typical patches where I thought she wasn't on my side, that she could never understand what I was going through, that I had lost my best friend.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
By standing by me, by loving me no matter what I did or said, that was what told me she still was in my corner. Behind me no matter what.
She is not a perfect mother and I am not a perfect daughter. Sometimes I expected her to be perfect and I was
disappointed when I could see through the cracks in her armour. It was my own inexperience
with life that made me think she could be perfect, even when I reached an age old enough to know "perfection" was unattainable.
My children amaze me. I was amazed I had twins and I carried their huge, flawless bodies to term, I am constantly amazed how smart they are and how absolutely sweet they can be. I am amazed at how my son looks just
like his father and my daughter like me.
It is like being given another chance at life, a do over. Not to live vicariously through my children but to fix the flaws I see in myself to become a better parent.
To be the mother they deserve. To be the person I want to be.
To let my children
know I am not perfect and I wish I could be for them, but I do not expect perfection in them either. People have faults, they make mistakes, they stumble. And their mothers will always be there to pick them up, dust them off and let them know it is
OK.
It will
always be
OK.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and especially mine.
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