VMA Recap- Lady KahKah

Friends, we have SO much to talk about. First let's go full on VMAs.
I have to say watching the VMAs makes me feel old and I try to stay away from anything that ages me like ruched bathing suits and wigs.
I try and stay on the cutting edge of celebrity/bands/whats hot, but it is exhausting. Especially when there is a house full of people crying about how the like to eat dinner and have clean clothes.
Babies!

Anywhoo lets get to it. Lady Gaga.
I really don't know too much about her except that R & I love to sing "Let's Dance" at the top of our lungs in the car.
I started to love her because her date for the evening was Kermit the Frog. I have been wanting a date with him since 1977. Kudos to the best date 'o the night!
I can't with her fashion choices though:




In this look I think she is going for "herpes chic". Red, fiery hot, all encompassing and most importantly: itchy.
I don't get it, don't you want to be able to see? Anything?
This is bad. Really bad. Makes me long for the Bjork swan dress.
Imagine that walked down the catwalk on Project Runway? Michael Kors would sh*t himself.


Next we have a version of Hitchcock's "The Birds" being played out right upon her body. Well done Gaga- or Lady Khakah which is how I will be referring to you from now on.


Does she want to look like a robot? Or is that starry, far away look in her eyes just because she smoked something extra special backstage?
If that is the case, pass it over here.


Even though my Lady was wearing something around her face akin to a Lion's mane or maybe a family of porcupines were eating her, she still couldn't bring herself to look at Perez's yellow painted hands.
It is almost too much to bear for me. The jokes, the why's? they just keep coming.
Poor Beyonce.


SQUEAL! This is my FAVORITE. Okay, she is dressed like a hooker, but the best part is the dancer standing next to her- he is wearing a white lace thong as a surgical mask! LOVE!
Of course this scenario plays out in frat houses all across this great nation every day, but on stage- it is glorious.
Check out the guy behind him, he likes it even more than I do!


Do we have to talk about Kanye?
I am sure what a douchebacg he is has already been written a thousand times over already. He sucks and no matter how great a artist he may be he sure acts like a terrible person.

Lastly, I heard Janet Jackson was preparing for months to get this tribute out for Micheal. Um.
It looked like she spent 15 minutes rehearsing for a 2 minute dance routine. When the backup dancers ALL out perform Janet- it may be time to hang it up.

Today

This was the first year where I didn't have 9/11 thoughts looming over me days before the anniversary. Maybe it is because I am no longer in NJ and the hole I would see every day is no longer in my peripheral view.
Maybe it has been enough time that it is not in my thoughts so much anymore.
It was a crazy point in time.

Here is a re-post of what that day was like for me:

I remember 9/11/01 so clearly, like many people do.
It was a gorgeous day in New Jersey and New York, the sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, not too hot or too chilly.
I had just started a new job and it was my seventh day. I worked for a medium sized company located about 10 minutes from NYC. I loved it.

My boss called me and told me from the highway he was stuck on, he could see smoke from NYC, he said he thought a plane accidentally hit a building.
Then an announcement came over the building intercom system that the World Trade Center had been hit, and that we were all supposed to leave now and go straight home.
I did just that. I was frantically trying to call E's cell because I thought he was in NYC for a meeting. I heard they were closing the borders of NY, there would be no way to get home. The phone lines were jammed and I couldn't get through for 30 long minutes.
Those were the worst minutes because I thought his meetings were being held in a hotel right next to the WTC.

In actuality, he was in Yonkers, NY and was able to get home. We both met at the end of our driveway and watched from our normally magnificent views, as the buildings burned.
That's the thing about NJ, on a clear day you can see far into NYC and obviously, the view was amazing. It was altered that day, and as I left for work every day after that, I would look to my left because out of the corner of my eye something was missing. There was a huge hole in the skyline.
That night I woke to a horrible, loud sound I jumped thinking we were being bombed, "it is just thunder" E said "go back to sleep".
Hard to do with bombers flying so low, right over our house.

I did lose a friend from high school that was in the buildings, high above where the plane crashed, leaving her no way out.

There was one good thing that happened that day. E & I realized that life was too short, and we decided to have a baby.
My beautiful, smart twins came out of that horrible day and the evil people felt for Americans.
They healed me and one day maybe they will heal the world.

Don't Vampires Have Access To Tanning Creams?

I have to know: who thinks this guy is hot?
Is it just me or does he look like a cross between Dylan McKay circa early 90210 years and siamese cat?
I got drawn into the Twilight hype via twitter and read all the books as fast as I could. Then I made E take me to see the movie and I was disappointed in how ugly I thought all the characters were. When the book describes in painstaking detail just how beautiful each character is and you cast ordinary pretty people who happen to be super-dee-douper pale, then I get disappointed.
Call me crazy.

Plus, is the skinny tie back? It shouldn't be.

Also, I was just thanking the sweet baby Jesus last week we are finally rid of Dannielynn pictures/"news" stories and the contact Larry Birkhead had with ET. Now they are back with new birthday photos.
I filed this under "who cares?".

No Dark Sarcasm In The Classroom

I have no idea why President Obama's speech to school children is causing such an uproar.

Do people think he is going to make communists of children through the television screen? Just what is President Obama going to speak about?
According to the U.S. Department of Education, the President will speak about "persisting and succeeding in school." The president will also "challenge students to work hard, set educational goals, and take responsibility for their learning." The Dept. of Education invites "students of all ages, teachers, and administrators" to watch the President's address and encourages "educators to help students get focused and inspired to begin the new academic year."

Wow, challenging kids to work hard and value the education they receive- how terrible, how non-age appropriate, how dare educators make a decision about people's children without their consent.
How ridiculous.

By pulling your kid from school or pressuring the school not to show it, you are teaching them- because your political party is not in power, you can disregard or show no respect for the President of this country.
Whether you voted for him or not, or believe in his views or not, you still need to have respect for him. I think the lack of respect for other people is one of the things that is wrong with this country today.
Could you imagine your parents not letting you hear President Reagan or President Bush's speeches to the children of this country?
It didn't happen.

In our school district the middle and high school students are watching live but you can pull your child from that classroom if you wanted to. The elementary school students will watch it tomorrow, they are taping it today to see the age-appropriateness, which I assume it is appropriate for all ages. It is not like the president is going to be dropping F-bombs, I am pretty sure it is rated G.

Instead of pulling your child from a lecture on education, how about using it as a platform to talk to your kids about the speech and what you agreed and disagreed with.
Now, wouldn't that be a novel idea?


I would love to know if you are letting your children hear Obama's speech today and why or why not.

At Least He Doesn't Have A Mullet

My husband E, started losing his hair in his late 20s. A little less on top, a little less on the sides every month. He wasn't as proactive or outraged as I wanted him to be and just went with it.
I, on the other hand, was outraged. If it was me I would have bought every cream, every shampoo visited every doctor and sold my sole to the devil for hair implants (ala Jon Gosselin).

He took it in stride told me it was because he was much more manly than other men because he had EXTRA testosterone (like you need more of that) fist bumped his chest and went off to masterbate.
Or something.

Then in December of 2006 without marital consult, he shaved all his hair off. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was now officially and forever going to be married to a bald man.
I never saw that coming!

Last night I was half jokingly telling E he should just get a wig.

Me: you know, you should just get a wig already.

E: ::blink blink::

Me: so you have a very awkward one day, after that it will be over.

E: are you kidding me?

Me: NO! there are two approaches, you can just go into work one Monday and say "I now have hair, enjoy my follicles of hairiness!" or you can just go into work and say nothing at all. Sure they will talk about you behind your back but they will get over it.
Worst case scenario: you get a cool nickname form your coworkers like "freak" or "hair today gone tomorrow".

E: what if I get a red wig?

Me: can you stop making a joke out of this, I am serious.

E: I am hungry.


So there it is, I will forever be married to a bald man who doesn't care I don't like bald men and eats in bed.

First Grade

Today I put my kids on the school bus for 1st grade. All mothers have done it, it is nothing new, it is an old story that you can find practically on every parenting blog on the Internet. Until it is your turn.

The past six and a half years were leading up until this moment: leaving the house and being in some one's else care for eight hours a day. There is just something that is not right about that.
Wasn’t it just yesterday that I drove my twins home from the hospital at a snails pace?
How does a mother let go of their child’s small hand so they can dip their toe in the ocean of the world, when all they want to do is scoop them into her arms and lay under the safety of a tree and just be?

These are my precious babies, no matter how old they will become, so I will do what every mother does:
I will send them to school. I will walk them to the bus, I will place them in the care of others and I will watch as the bus drives away.
And I will hold my tears until they are in the distance, crying for the little babies that were and for the amazing people I know they are becoming.

First grade.
It is a big deal.

The Happenings

The past two weeks have been crazy for the Tuesday Girl household. The company I blogged for went out of business, locked me out of my site, refused to let me buy my domain all in 5 minutes. I needed to lose that extra income right now like I need a hole in my head.
Good times.

So, I had to start my own blog with my very little knowledge on how to do so. I had some help, figured some things out on my own and still need some help on things I cannot figure out, but I am getting there*. Go check it out and bookmark me: www.parentingourkids.com. I have reviews, articles, tips and giveaways, actually right now I have two giveaways going on that I know you will love.

The vacation was amazing and the only thing I hated about going on it was leaving my baby. I have never been away from any of my children that long and although I had been wishing for a break for years, when it came down to it, it was a hard decision to make. Everywhere I went in Colorado I saw babies and tears would spring to my eyes. I missed him and although I knew the type of vacation isn't for a baby, I still wished he was there.


This weekend I am off to General Mills and the Betty Crocker kitchens. We will talk about meal planning and what makes life easier in the kitchen. I hope they don't mind if I sneak into a closet and stay there forever.
I think it will be so much fun seeing how they come up with new foods and give them my feedback on what I think they can do to make foods more family friendly.
If you have anything you would like me to tell General Mills while I am there, I will! Just leave your feedback/question/concerns in the comments.
Check on my other blog (www.parentingourkids.com did you bookmark it yet?) and twitter for updates and lots of pictures from this trip.

When I get back it is the first day of school for my first graders. I know they will do well at school, but how will baby K and I do without them all day long?




*anyone proficient in wordpress want to help a girl out? I need some tweaking help and will pay you in virtual kisses and ad space.

Colorado

So, Colorado.
I won this Epic Summer Vacation trip from Mom Central and it was terrific. E couldn't go because of his new job and K couldn't go because 1 year olds usually don't like being awake for 12 hours with no nap in sight.
I took the twins and asked my mom if she would like to go with us and off we went.
I did things I have never done before like hike up a mountain with an elevation of 12,500 (we didn't hike the whole mountain), rafting, rode a gondola and experienced all of this and more with my kids. They had an amazing time and I know it will be something they will remember forever.

On our rafting trip we stopped and all got out on the edge of the banks. Overhead there was a cliff that you can dive off of and a smaller 6 foot cliff for the kids. Someone asked who was going up to dive off and mentioned this once-in-a-lifetime event. I don't know what I was thinking as I climbed up the steep, dangerous cliff. I know more than one time I thought about backing out and if the cliff wasn't so steep and loose I would have.
Someone jumped off, then another person and then it was my turn. I carefully walked out onto the ledge and the guide started a count down. I was scared to death and even as I type this now, my heart is racing and my palms are sweating. How could I make myself step off of this rock and free fall?

I couldn't hear anything.
I wondered should I step off or leap. Everything was quiet as I just stepped out. The 25 foot fall was so quick but slow all at the same time. When I landed into the water all I saw was bubbles above my head. It was dark.
I popped up above water with my ahnds in the air feeling victorious.
My hands and legs were shaking for an hour after that from the adrenaline.
I couldn't believe what I had just done. My kids were cheering for me and then they each took their turn jumping off the 6 foot rock as I cheered for them.
I have never been more proud of my kids.
We took risks, met new people, had fun, laughed and enjoyed everything about this vacation.
We missed the boys back at home but had plenty of stories and pictures to share.

Now we go back to our lives already in progress.

Rocky Mountain High

The twins, my mother and I went to Colorado last week. It was amazing and more about it soon, well as soon as my ears stop popping and I can walk in a straight line again!

Just Make Sure He Is Rich

R "Mommy, I don't know who to marry!"

I am exasperated when she says this. She talks about marriage and marrying her father often in a way that is very cute and innocent. But as her mother I want to grab her by the shoulders and yell into her face "You don't need a man for anything, you can be whatever you want without a man. You can be independent. Never answer to anyone! Who needs men anyway?"

Instead I answer "you know R, you don't have to get married."

R: eyes wide as saucers " I don't?"

Me: "Nope! You can get married if you find the right man but you don't have to get married"

R: "But you wanted to get married right, Mommy?"

Me: "yes, but I found the right man"

R: "I am worried I want to marry the Jonas brothers* but other people are older than me and I don't know them yet and I know they are going to marry older people"

Me: "you don't even know the Jonas brothers, maybe they wouldn't be perfect for you like maybe they don't like to color or watch Princess movies. Maybe they don't like blond hair or to sing...wait, oh yeah.

R: "gotcha, they DO like to sing"

She got me alright.
I just never knew conversations about getting married would be so serious and would come only 6 years into parenting. ALMOST makes me wish for the death conversations involving my Dad to come back.
Almost.


* really how the heck does she know about teh Jonas brothers anyway? Stupid school!

How To Save A Life

There is a common theme to my life that seems like a positive attribute to have on the surface, but when you dig deeper, you realize it is a destructive path.
I want to save everyone.

When I was a teenager my parents got divorced and it devastated me. I mean, I could see where the path was headed, my parents fought- often. It didn't mean that it didn't come as a surprise and a terrible blow to me.
When my parents fought/argued/disagreed I would silently stick up for my father. I thought of him as the underdog, one who couldn't do what he wanted to do without being yelled at. As a married adult now, I know now that the problems were something he brought on to himself.
Marriage is hard, I get it.
When he moved out, I was nervous for him- who would wash his clothes, make sure he ate homemade meals and what would he do without us? I felt more sad for him than I did for myself.
I wanted to be the one who took care of him. Even though I was only 14 and didn't have a clue about life at all, I wanted to save him.

Fast foward a couple of years and one fucked up boyfriend later and I was in the same situation -new man. I had been dating a self-destructive guy who was sweet and loving when he wanted to be, aloof and kind of mean when he didn't.
He didn't have a supportive family actually his family was really messed up so I wanted to be the one to give him that.
The only problem was he didn't want it.


When someone really close to me did something I never thought would ever be done to me or my family my first reaction was to be livid. I wanted to physically kick the shit out of this person. The weight of my anger would come out of my fists and I would feel better.
Very surprisingly this feeling didn't last very long. It was replaced by hurt/sadness/incredulous and the feeling of wanting to help. To help the person who could not have done this in their right mind. To get through it together.

It is a recurring theme in my life.
I am not perfect, I have faults and problems and issues like everyone I tried to save. I am going to have to focus on why I want to be the saver, the heroine, the knight in shining heels.

Before I try and save anyone else, I first have to save myself.

Still Hot

I still got it.
Even after having 3 kids who did unspeakable things to my bod, been married for almost 9 years and have little time to dedicate to myself or personal grooming. I still have it.
How do I know this? Well, my supermarket tells me so.

Let me start at the beginning, ever since we moved to NH from NJ in February I noticed a strange phenomenon: people are always staring at me. After the first week here I asked E if he had the same thing happen to him, he agreed: New Englanders were starers.
I decided that when people stared at me in the grocery store it was because they haven't seen someone so lovely in so long.
That is my reason and I am sticking to it.

Then just yesterday at the checkout line the bagger in my line who was in his early 20s, decided to make small talk.
I was SO on to him.

Him: So, how is the weather out there?
Implied Sexual undertone: I want to get hot and steamy with you

Him: Wow, 3 kids?
Implied Sexual Undertone: I'll still bang you

Him: Do you want your milk in a bag?
Implied Sexual Undertone: Too many things to even type. I mean really!


It is getting to the point where I can't even leave the house with no makeup, 3 kids, and dark circles under my eyes anymore!
I won't even get into the free cheese my octogenarian deli counter man.

School Time

I have been preparing for sending my kids back to school. I can't believe the summer is almost over! I have mixed feelings about school this year, it will be their first time in school all day.
K and I will miss them.

In preparation I got to try out some new snacks from Lance. They are perfect for school lunches or park trips and my kids love them.
Would you do me a favor and go on over to my other site and leave me a comment? I will return the favor.

After I am done crying about my babies growing up so fast.

Tapinoma Sessile

We have a little problem here in our house in the big woods of New Hampshire- ants. Not the cute, cuddly little ants you see on the sidewalk, or even the smart cool ants from the movies.
These are huge, black, ugly ants. They grow them big here in New England. Bugs that is.
I know what you are saying to yourself "Tuesday Girl, why do you have to bring color into this?" and my response is "because it is my blog and I would hate them the same as if they were white ants, or ants wearing tiny yarmulkes, and I am an equal opportunist hater. Of all bugs that enter my home. Call the Rev. Al of the insect world if you must".

Ahem.

So these big ants were everywhere in my house and at first it was mearly annoying but quickly progressed to total gross out.
Plus I was using all of my precious tissues* to kill them with the enormous strength of my hand. The squash is so satisfying, I love knowing a trespasser learned his lesson.
I only wish I could leave a picture of his dead corpse with a teeny little newspaper by it on my front steps to warn the others of what lies ahead dare they enter my home.

I almost second guessed myself when I saw a ant carrying a fallen brother- one of his comrades if you will, back to their fortress of evil doings. I hesitated, maybe if I let this one live the others would rally around the corpse screaming "WHY? WHY him? He was a good soldier". They would learn their lesson, go about evil in someone else's yard and all would be right with the world.
Instead I just squashed him with my tissue and went out to buy ant traps.

I mean there is only so much compassion I can give something less then 2 inches long.

Just ask that guy I dated in 1992.



* I personally keep kleenex in business. I love tissues and blow my nose probably 20-25 times a day.

The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You

So.
What are we all thinking about birth control? Good? Sucks?

After we had baby K, I was a weepy-wanting-more-babies mess (sappy post on that to follow shortly). Having another baby was/is not an option, we are not financially stable. So we did what every other under insured adult and/or teenager would do when still wanting to get bizzay but not wanting to pay for birth control: we use the rhythm method.

Sure we could have spared a few dollars for some condoms and I could have sent E to buy them because I still think the checkout girl is laughing at me and god forbid it is a grandma-type lady I may die.
Also, I hate my vagina smelling like gross prophylactics for 12-18 hours, call me crazy.
The pill? Been there done that. The patch made my skin break out.
Kinda hate all the other options and I repeat: we have no insurance right now, so that leaves us with the rhythm.

We are the rhythm nation.

Of course the one person who should not take risks or pregnancy chances is moi since I am pretty darn fertile and tend to drop more than one egg a month and some of my eggs occasionally split.
This game of chicken is better left unplayed, but still we play it one hand at a time, for 14 months now.
Sooner or later that bus is going to catch up with us and run us right over.
Splat.

Good thing E got a job with benefits. First thing on my list to do: call for a vasectomy appointment. It is his turn to have someone shove sharp pointy things in his junk. It is time for various exams of his private parts and if I could arrange a visiting school of med students to watch I sure would.
**********

Me: "I am writing about doing it with you on my blog today"

E: weird scrunched up face

Me: "well, not about doing it about our lack of birth control"

E: "Can I get some props about my performance in bed?"

Me: weird scrunched up face

E: "C'MON!!"

Me: "Only if I can live blog your vasectomy"

E: "NO!"

Me: "Fine, I will live tweet it. It is a beneficially health lesson. Kids need to know! IT'S FOR THE KIDS FOR CHRISTSAKES!"

E: "N O"

Me: "with pictures!"

E: storms out of room


I am soo live blogging that shit.

Three Hearts Walking Around The Outside Of My Body

I haven't written about my kids lately so I thought I would update you and jot down these memories before they are lost somewhere in my mommy brain.

L is my first born (by 1 minute) and he does not take on that role at all.
He is still as sweet as sugar. He is the follower, he looks for his twin sister to lead. He is quiet and a little shy and wants to please everyone in a different way than R wants to please everyone. He wants to make sure he doesn't make anyone mad or hurt, she would like the praise of being "good".
He fell into the deep end of a pool in May and all of a sudden forgot how to swim. I yelled for him to swim but he went under, came up and went under again. I was the only one watching 5 kids in the pool at the time so in I went with my clothes on to rescue him. I can't even think about what would have happened if I wasn't paying attention, or walked away from the pool for a second. Those are thoughts that creep in at night and I push them right back out.
The trauma of that led him to believe he couldn't swim at all, so I signed the kids up for swim lessons. L did wonderful and has overcome his fear and is swimming like a pro. I am proud of him for that, he is brave.
He is making easily friends here in our new state and picked up where he left off in NJ and once again became the "best boy" in school.
He loves sports, riding his bike, berries, kefir, animal planet, ice cream and helping me bake.
I love my sensitive, sweet smart boy like no other.

R is feisty and always has been. If there is ever a kid to put your money on- its her. That is not to say she won't be a handful as a teenager- at 5 she already acted like she was 15. She wants to be like the bigger girls, instead of just enjoying being where she is in life.
She is smart and quick. She tries to get away with things and when you call her on it-she gets mad. She has a temper like her mother.
She is an actress and would love to sing and dance on stage.
She will have to learn the hard way that just because she is quick and beautiful doesn't mean everything will be handed to her forever.
She loves her twin brother, and bosses him around like hired help. They can fight like an old married couple but if you separate them, they always sneak back to each other. That is the sweetest part of having twins.

They both started to read this year and I am so happy, I hope they love reading as much as I do!
R loves singing, High School Musical, pasta, Parmesan cheese, drawing, feta and helping me bake.
She is beautiful, and caring and smart and more than I ever wanted my daughter to be.

Baby K. Wow.
He is an amazing baby and makes me want to have a dozen more. He is not the baby who was content to sit in a swing or on his gym or jumper. He has always wanted people around him and to entertain him. We always obliged.
He never sits still, that kid is on the move. He crawled early, he walked at 10 months and hasn't stopped since.
He is sweet and stops to hug me or his toys (while he says "ahhhh!") at least a few dozen times a day.
He loves playing in water, his brother and sister, pasta with sauce, avocado (his FAVORITE), Baby Einstein DVDs and balls. He is an amazing eater with only green beans and tomato being on his "not gonna eat" list.
His head full of curls reminds me of myself when I was a baby. He is a Daddy's boy and E is so in love with this little one.
We can't wait to see who he is going to be, but don't want him to grow too fast.


Since I have had R & L I always say "this stage is my favorite" because really, they all have been my favorites. If I could keep my kids 2, or 4 or little forever I would.
I just love being a mother to these amazing people.

They will change the world someday.
They already have.

The One With Good News- Finally!

Finally after almost two years, hundreds of phone interviews, countless face to face interviews, hopes being lifted and dashed, E has received and accepted a job offer!
The offer is good. It is selling something to pharmaceutical companies instead of being a pharmaceutical rep like he has been for over 10 years.
It is with a small, laid back company and seems like a great fit for E. He will still be able to work with his cousin and when the economy gets back on its feet, and the people get back on their feet the company will flourish.

We have been feeling like we were drowning for all this time and it has been hard and the sacrifices have been great. It was worse than I ever wrote about, partly because if I wrote it out-if I had to see it in black or white, I might just give up. It has been more than stressful and it is visable on our faces.
We have been low.
We can only hope this is the upswing, that we were meant to move to this state and it was for something bigger than we could imagine.
We can finally devote our energy to our family and although we will in no means be rich from this job and the next couple of months will still be a struggle, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank god for light.

Visitors From Planet Teen

With money VERY tight around here these days, I did not attend Blogher this year even though I had my heart set on it. Today you won't see great pictures from BlogHer parties or witty, inside-joke laden posts from me because I spent the weekend with my two sister-in-laws and teenagers. (cue horror movie theme music)

E's one sister lives in Florida and doesn't visit much at all. His other sister lived by us in NJ and she has 2 teenagers. Both of them descended on us this past weekend. E was happy to see his sisters (one who is going through a rough patch) and they were happy to be back in NH and see some family.


Did you know teenagers are messy? And they sleep a lot but not at night, their best sleep is in the morning. Or afternoon. Or evening, but who is waiting anyway?
They also use a lot of shampoo. They don't know how to hang up wet towels or that maybe bras shouldn't just be left on the floor.
They eat a lot- and none of it was green/was grown/or picked/or can be labeled with words such as "healthy" or "nutritious".
They love to bicker. And Text. Hopefully not sexting.

Who knew?
I am in for a bumpy ride in about 6 years, aren't I?

Body By Baby

Women have enough body image issues, after you have your first child things really seem to spiral downward. Even if you lose the baby weight after you have children, your body is just different.
Assuming you don't have a personal trainer, chef, nanny and plastic surgeon on speed dial like some women do who look like they never even thought of having a baby never mind actually birthing four.
I am talking about YOU Brooke Burke.

Even if you decline desserts and try and fit a workout in, the kids will kill any bit of self esteem left.
Like when my then three year old daughter told me my nipples were HUGE. Not the Paris Hilton huge-meaning-fantastic, either. Huge.

When ever I am in a fitting room with my twins or getting dressed/undressed, because what do 6 year olds know about p-r-i-v-a-c-y, they watch me have bowel movements for christsakes, they stare.
Not the good stare like you got in clubs in your 20s either, these are can you believe what we are seeing stares. Mouth agape stares.

Then they are all like "what are those markes on your stomach" and I am all "helllooo, stretch markes from your big asses" and they are all like "Oh, okay" and I am all like "HEY! stop with the judgements! Try and have 15+ pounds of baby in your body AT THE SAME TIME and see what markes appear on your bod. The bod I made you by the way, in my stomach, therefore producing markes of stretch".

Yeah, that will teach them to barge in on me when I am getting dressed. At least I avoided the hair grows there? talk with my friend- the Brazilian.

Comfortably Numb

Did you ever have the experience where something has happened in your life and it sucks and is devastating and maybe strange. Anyway, this things happens and you still have to do regular mundane, routine things and all the while you are looking around wondering how these people can just go on with life.
It is like watching the world from a new perspective. Like watching time pass with a bug's eye, 12 views of it all.
Like going through motions with a viel over your face. Things are muted and that is okay with you, you can't take the bright sun or crisp views just yet.


I have been thinking about those times recently. Like the day after I was told I was having triplets but they are measuring very small and please go home and wait to miscarry them.
It was this small window of time where I was pregnant, but not.
My body was still tired and queasy but now it was all for nothing. I had dead babies inside of me and I felt the urge to just blurt it out to people I saw on my travels.
The people who were just going on with life's daily chores. The same ones I did to keep my mind off what was happening to me. Of course, that didn't work. It never does.
It was like I was holding in this big secret and nobody knew it but me.
It was limbo.

"How can you go on?!" I wanted to yell from my car window. I wanted someone to see my red brimmed eyes at the grocery store and hug me and whisper into my ear "I know and I am sorry". I guess you don't get that when you live too far from your best girfriends.
Tomorrow you tell yourself, the veil will lift a little bit.

Generosity

I can't read any articles or watch any television shows about this economy. I turn off the TV when Oprah has a show on middle class families living in a shelter and I put down the Time magazine with articles on what jobs are still booming.
I don't have to see or read about it, I have lived it.

Long time readers will know that times have been very hard for us. After E lost his job, there were a ton of other people looking for the same work in the same field as he was. The truth of it is, if we didn't have family we would have ended up in a shelter.

We were not rich, we were....comfortable. We had a very nice house in a nice neighborhood in a nice state. We had two cars (one was a company car) and some nice furniture and 3 great kids.
When E lost his job he also lost what came with it: our insurance, his life insurance, his car, his 401K, laptop and a lot of pride.
If it wasn't for our family we would have lost our house, not have any cars (because of course my lease was up the month after E lost his job and did you know people don't sell cars to people who don't have jobs? Strange!) and probably would have ended up in a shelter.

So, the people I judged in the past about not having insurance ("who doesn't have insurance? Just get a job and it comes with health insurance" my naive ass once said), the people I judged about having kids they couldn't afford, the attitude I had because E and I are both intelligent, educated people and how could we ever not get a job, I am sorry and I have learned my lesson.
I have walked in their shoes, but for the generosity and kindness of some people, there goes I.

I will never judge people again.
I will never think that cannot happen to me.
I will never take for granted what I have.
I will always remember what is the most important things in life.

The next time you see a homeless person don't turn away offer him a dollar or a meal. When you turn on the TV and there is a show on homeless families watch it. Those people could have been me, and they could have been you.

Maine

Yesterday I did what I told E I would never do again: venture into the unknown territory that is Maine and attend one of his relatives wedding.
You see, the last time I did that? It sucked.
On my first trip up to NH to visit his family and attend a wedding I received a nice case of food poisoning as a wedding favor.
Not from the wedding but a byproduct of the wedding.

I also crossed a few things off my list of thing I have never done and never want to do including but not limited to:
1)Poo-ing blood
2)using a porta-potty
3)defile 2 out of 3 bathrooms in a strangers house
4)use a gas station bathroom
5)drive in a car for 4+ house all the while thinking I may die at any minute

You see, this wedding took place in a backyard on a hot Maine day where the only food that was served was cheese & crackers, and fruit and someone made a TERRIFIC executive decision to keep them directly in the sun.
No, that is not where my case of food poisoning came from, it was out of desperation of not eating all day so a stop to a rest stop was made and a Burger King burger was purchased.

So you see where it all went wrong: a trip to Maine for a wedding.


The wedding yesterday was nice. Not at all like the weddings I am used to in NJ/NY. Different. Casual, and very pretty.
The coastline is beautiful and I would show you pictures if I didn't fall into the ocean whilst trying to save my camera from falling into the sea and hurt my wrist and pride.
Now my computer won't recognize my USB when I plug my camera into it.

Moral of the story? Maine is nice but stay home.
It isn't worth it.

Wordless Wednesday

Linktastic

My in-laws are coming today for a week. Their visits are so much less stressful here because they stay with E's Aunt & Uncle. My mother in law is an immaculate housekeeper so I am cleaning and straightening the house like a mad woman. No matter what you think of your mother in law or what she thinks of you, you still want her to know you keep your house clean.
Even if it is a illusion.

I am also refusing to let myself write about Michael Jackson or Jon & Kate. Or the fact that I got carded at the grocery store last week when I bought cooking wine.
It is enough to make me implode.

I will leave you with some great links for you though while I am cleaning whatever my kids are messing:

Win a 6 piece layette set from First Impressions!

Find out how I taught my kids to ride their bikes in 3 minutes flat

Win a pair of ADORABLE pair of WeeSqueak sandals

Win a set of cool band aids including a make your own which I am dying to steal

Here are 46 cheap or free summer fun ideas to do with your kids
because we all know how long summer can be when you have kids!

The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

When my Dad dies, I was so unprepared for it. From not feeling well to sitting on the hospital floor holding his hand just after he died took two whole months.
I never got to say goodbye because I thought he would make it. It is my most painful regret.

I was reading this post today and it had me thinking of what an hell those nights were after he died.
The sheer weight of grief put me to sleep those night, but I would always wake up at 3am.
I would be wide awake and my mind would take me to horrible places. I would watch TV in bed to quiet the voice and take my mind off of the grief.
I had never had trouble sleeping before, I thought this was just a phase and I would "grow out of it" once I felt better.
After months of waking at 3am, I decided to take over the counter sleeping pills. They worked and I could finally feel rested again.
Then those stopped working as well so I moved on to the good stuff like Ambien and Lunesta.

Before I knew it I had been taking these pills every night for over a year. I loved them, it finally squashed the noise and let me sleep, a good dead sleep, but I knew I had to stop using them. It wasn't healthy.
I slowly weaned myself off of them.
I could sleep again without medicine!

I know that my sleep was interrupted because my brain was trying to wrap itself around the fact that one of the most important people in my life was now gone.
I know it was a symptom of my problems.
I wish I could have handled myself better, I wish I got the proper help I needed and probably still need.
I am happy I had the sleep medication when I needed it because at least I was sleeping and able to function to take care of my 1 year old twins at the time.
I just hope I never have to use them again.

#1MOMBLGR

There is one thing different about New Hampshire then I have seen in any other state I have been to: EVERYONE has personalized license plates.

At first it was so funny, the first weekend I was here my sister and I would try and see how many we could spot on the way to the grocery store.
Then it just became odd, really odd because you felt like you were the odd one when everyone has one but you.
I get it Granny5, sunkisstan, redsox1 and famof7, you want everyone to notice you.
Maybe I will get my own plates (as soon as one of us gets a job and has $1k to register our cars here), but what do I put on my plates?
Here are some of the ideas I have floating around:

GodHatesNH
urplatesRstupd
2muchsnow
NJmafia#1
Ucantdrive
#1NHblogger
flwmeontwitter
agrl&hercar



The whole thing makes my head hurt. Guess what? I don't care about your vanity plates anymore.
That is until I was behind a driving school car this morning.
Its license plate read: MYBAD

Now that, is funny.




Also please go over and read my other blog, I want to know if you post pictures of your kids online?

Things I Hated About Yesterday

Things I hated about yesterday in chronological order:

-Waking up

-Waking up to a crabby kid who cries and stomps his feet for me to hold him when I was just trying to put on my bra.
I have to put my bra on right away because I hate the feeling of gravity on my boobs. (or the effects of gravity on my boobs. Whatever.)

-L hit his head on the side of the pool during swim lessons and when I got over to him, his mouth was filled with blood. I finally found the source- a small but deep cut next to the corner of his mouth. Off to the urgent care center we went.

-Duh, I have no idea where the urgent care center is.

-My phone was dead when I went to call E. Had to borrow one from a stranger.

-My poor baby needed a stitch in his face and he was so scared. He was a trooper but nothing is worse than when your baby is scared and you just want to hold him, but instead a team of doctors and nurses have to hold him down because he is screaming.

-After all the drama and we fed ourselves, washed the kids and put them to bed, I noticed I had been wearing my shirt inside out- ALL DAY.
Of course this was the one day that I actually left the house and had been to the town pool, urgent care and grocery store.
All with my collared shirt inside out and it was tagless so everyone and their mothers could see my size.
Yes, of course I wore my hair up all day.

-After enduring weeks of bad reality TV, namely I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here, I forgot the finale was on last night because I was so disturbed by my inside-out shirt and missed it. All of that bad TV for nothing.

So yeah, Wednesday can suck it.

How We Got Here Part 2

You can read part one here.

So we had no choice- we had to move. Despite my bad attitude because I did not want to leave my family, my state, we moved.
Well, E moved in September living with his cousins until we found a place to rent and sold our house.
He traveled the 6+ hours each way to come home on weekends. The twins, the baby and I were left to fend for ourselves and keep the cats alive all while trying to keep the house clean for house showings.
It was not easy. In fact it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Easier than carrying 15+ pounds of babies in my body for 9 months.

On February 1st we all moved to NH. It was cold and there was more snow piled up on the lawn that I have ever seen. It was going to be a long year.

I am not like my husband, I do not adapt easy.
I like my "stuff" and I like knowing where I am going and I like visiting my friends or family when I want to.
I spend too much time rolling around the bed moaning about how much I miss Wegman's or my hairdresser. Like I told E a hundred times: I do not do rural.
But rural I am.

Things were good, we were unpacking, the kids were getting settled in their new house and school. E was busy at work.
Then they had less appointments.
Next their clients had hard times refinancing their homes, getting loans, things that E and his cousin make their money off of.
The commission checks slowed.

Now the financial crisis has hit home once again, only now we are stranded in a new town, in a new state with a lot less jobs then our old town, in our old state.

We have nothing to lose, because we lost it all already. We gambled and came up short again.
Now, what are we going to do?



To be continued.............

How We Got Here

It was Autumn, leaves were falling, the air was crisp and I was five months pregnant. I was excited to add to my little family of four. The twins were excited to get another sibling and all was falling into place. All except my husband E hating his job.
E was good at his job, great in fact. He was given many awards, voted to lead by his peers and had a decade of experience in his field. The problem was his boss.
She was new and wanted to fit in the big boys club and needed someone to mold into exactly what she thought the company wanted: another her.
She groomed E for the position, he was talked up, promised promotions, put on the fast track and it all came to a screeching halt when he did one big old no-no: He disagreed with her in a meeting in front of their team.

A cardinal sin. He was told he didn't have what it took to be on the fast track, he was treated like a new trainee instead of someone with as much experience as her, he was written up for petty, silly things. AS fast as she gave it, she took it all away.
We knew she was mad enough to strike hard and called his HR to tell them he knew she was setting him up to be fired.
The next week he was fired.

He had no recourse. We could sue, but didn't have the time or money for lawyers. He needed another job now.
"It shouldn't be a problem" I told him after all he received job offers on every interview he had been on in his life so far. With all he knows, he will move on to bigger and better.
Not so.

The economy really started the downward spiral, I was pregnant I needed insurance, nobody would hire me in this condition.
We scoured the Internet, made calls, put his resume on every site imaginable and nothing.
He went on 30 interviews and never got a second call back.
Talk about a blow to your self esteem.

I have never seen my husband so depressed, feeling so worthless.
We were on the verge of losing everything and we would have lost our house if millions of people were not in the same position as us and the banks were waist high in people who could not pay their mortgages. We consider ourselves lucky because we just promised the bank we would sell our house and they agreed not to foreclose-yet.

So we put the house up for sale, E decided to work with his cousin in NH and we would move there.
"How are we going to live on a commission based job?" I asked. "We have no safety net, nothing to get us by until you can learn the job and make money!" I would argue.
"We have no choice, it is the only offer I have had in 9 months" E told me.

We had no choice.

To be continued....................

Wordless Wednesday

I'm A Horrible Reality TV Viewer, Get Me Out Of Here

Thins I learned While Watching The Most Education Summer Show, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here:

1) My summer show standards (say that 3 times fast) is at a all new low.

2) Lou Diamond Phillips' head is very oddly shaped. I can't stop looking at it.

3) I think Janice Dickinson looks good for her age, but would look better without so much work and the oil she must grease her face with 24/7. It is like the gel they use for your ultrasound. Unless Janice's face is pregnant, she should lay off the stuff.

4) I miss Sanjaya's hair. Hair made that man.

5) Really "celebrities"? You may as well call this show I'm nobody you have ever heard of until now but now I invade your every thought with the shape of my head and greasy face sucka Get me Out Of Here.
It would ring more true.

6) Torrie can kick your ass. I am scared of her.

7) Some shows that were made in Britain are better off staying in Britain.

Who Doesn't Love Lemonade?

There are very few celebrity moms that I like. Kelly Ripa is on top of my list. She seems real and warm and appears to be just like any of the moms that I woudl meet at a school function. Only with a better job! Plus she is a Jersey girl. Bonus points!

Kelly Ripa, has teamed up with Electrolux to kick off a virtual lemonade stand campaign to help support the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund, a cause close to Kelly and to women everywhere.
This summer, exclusively at electroluxappliances.com, you can design and open your own virtual lemonade stands and even pick the flavors of lemonade you want to feature. For every lemonade stand opened at www.electroluxappliances.com, Electrolux will donate $1 to OCRF. In addition, you can help the cause even more by selling virtual glasses of lemonade to your friends and family; 100 percent of the proceeds will go to OCRF. And to help spread the word, Electrolux is giving away an elegant new French Door Refrigerator with Perfect Temp™ Drawer!
Who wouldn't want this awesome refrigerator?



Go and visit my stand and make your own! While you are there check out the recipes of the great lemonade drinks.

Summer Of Lobster

I hate it when I want to do something special for my family and it turns out to be a failure. Today I was trying to bake my family some extra goodness and I had strawberry bread on the brain. I made the executive decision to make it a strawberry bundt cake since I didn't have two loaf pans.
Everything was fine until I tipped my bundt onto the cooling rack and a tiny piece broke off. I put that piece right into my mouth and I realized what I had done wrong-I forgot to add the sugar.

I actually made a healthier treat then I was trying to and really, it isn't that bad without the sugar. My kids still ate it. E ate it.
I am trying not to think about making a cream cheese icing for it, because that would be so delish.
This was a minor baking fail, but I was disappointed in myself. Sometimes I realize how perfect I want to be and how I let myself down when I can't be or do everything perfectly.

I am trying not to be so hard on myself, and this is something I will consciously try to work on this year.
Also on my list of things to do this year:
-eat more lobster
-try and do something outside my comfort zone at least once a month
-take more pictures of the baby
-eat lots of lobster
-cut out soda (almost have done that)
-let the small stuff go when it comes to my kids
-try lobster with even MORE butter then I would usually use
-do more crafts with the kids
-lose 25 lbs
-did I mention lobster?


Yes, the last two things on my list are counterproductive. I am aware and trying to lose the weight on a all lobster diet.

I Will Never Win NIght Time Parenting Awards

I have written about how my boys are roosters many times.
They get up at the crack of dawn, they are hard to put to sleep and wake up in the night screaming "CUUUPPP OF MILLLLLK" or "WAAAAAAAAAH" way too often. I, like most every parent, hate the night time wails, I just can't deal. I am a terrible nighttime parent, E is much better than I am but I can handle putting the kids to bed a bit better that my husband.

Baby K sleeps much better these past few weeks since I have been using your tips. I did what I used to do with the twins, we have a routine, I stick with it and put him awake in his crib. He is usually a dream to put in for a nap and slightly harder at bedtime, but not terrible.
E and I deal with the "not terrible" much differently.

I have my routine and if he cries in his crib after I put him down, well then, I just let him cry. He usually won't last more than five minutes and he is asleep.

If K cries for more than 4 minutes and E is home, he marches right up there and does whatever he has to until the baby stops crying and goes to sleep.
He can't take the crying.

It is not like I adore hearing my baby cry either but I know that it is okay for him to cry a little bit and usually by bedtime, I am done with ALL of the kids and they need to stay in bed and I need a stiff drink.
This is why E is a dream night time parent because when anyone wakes in the night crying he is usually on top of it, while I lay perfectly still and pray/beg/make deals for the crying to end on its own.

No, it never works.

Who is the better night time parent in your house?

Mama Cub

I always tell E that he better make good money because our kids will never leave this house. I tell him that they will never be allowed to attend sleepovers and play dates and all of those have to happen at our house. So we better stock up on food, drinks and pool tables.
I say those things to E half kidding, half truthfully.

The truth is: I am scared to let my kids go to other people's homes because I fear everyone to be a pedophile.
You hear the stories on TV, the missing girls, the priests, the kids who fall through the cracks and nobody sees the warning signs. You watch Oprah.
You hear the neighbors, the parents say "I never thought he could be a molester... he was so nice...he was friendly and helpful...a family man and on and on.
Of course what you see on TV isn't a complete representation of the public and doesn't mean every child is being molested by their neighbor, but so many are, and just how many are never, ever reported?

R asked to go over the neighbor's house yesterday to play with the 9 year old girl who lives there. I have no problem with them playing in our backyards where I can see or hear them, but I don't want them in the house.
"What if they go in the house?" I asked E who rolled his eyes at my- his words- overreacting.
Am I overreacting? Isn't it my entire job to protect those children at all costs? If I fail them....well, I cannot even think about that because it is not an option. I will NOT fail them.


I have had talks about their body and how nobody has the right to touch them. I told them that if grownups ask them to keep secrets from their parents then those are bad people and they should and can tell us everything.


How much is too much? When a parent asked if R or L can come over for a play date, what do I say?
"I prefer if all play dates are at our home" sounds pretentious and "I am scared your husband or father is a molester" may be a bit too much.

I wonder if there is such a thing as too cautious or too protective and I am not just talking about helicopter parenting.

I want to know what it is other parents do.
Do you allow your kids to go over close friends homes that you trust? Do you educate your kids and let them go and be kids? What about school friends and neighbors that you don't know much about?

Highlight Yourself

There is something to be said about a quick visit fo the salon for a touch up of your highlights.
It rejuvenates you, makes you feel like a real person again, a person worth the touch ups to your roots.
I think the problem with Mothers is that we forget that sometimes, and are judgemental of the woman who do not forget it. The woman who schedule massages, pedicures, monthly facials and a blow out.
Maybe we are envious of the money they seem to have. Maybe we are envious of the time they spend on themselves. "Time that should be spent with their children" you tell yourself.

Yes, money and time are tight for many people, including myself.
Make yourself a priority, make yourself feel pretty, or sexy or happy. If you do, I swear your family will feel it too. You can't be a good mother without your "Me" time, your rejuvination.
So do without the Starbucks once a week or forgo the trip to Wendy's with your children and go get yourself a $10 manicure. Maybe splurge for the $5 chair massage afterwards.
You will thank me.

And it is SOO worth it.



* this picture taken with no makeup on and maybe I forgot to moisturize my skin today also. No judgements!

A Girl And Her Fashion

I have been noticing some American Apparel ads on some of the blogs I frequent and really I cannot believe what I am seeing. Perhaps I am out of the fashion loop because I am a mom and I do live in NH now where the state uniform seems to be a beard and overalls.
And don't get me started on the men.

Maybe I have been away from NYC for too long because this cannot be what is "in"


Just what every 2 year old needs, sparkly leggings! This is a must have for the playground set. Bonus! You will never lose your child in the park again, when the sun hits these bad boys You will be stricken blind and as dusk approaches you can get your child and go home.
Plus! With diapers there is no camel toe embarrassments. Hear that Celine Dion? Wear Depends.



Yes, please can I have the same seersucker gingham bloomers as my 13 month old?



I was just watching Girls Just Wanna Have Fun this morning and was wondering where Sarah Jessica Parker got her leotards! Also can be worn as Jennifer Beales for Halloween.



Stop! Hammer Time!
Really?
The print is bad enough but hammer pants?
Really?


So Kathy Ireland! If the metallic print wasn't enough I can just picture one of my kids unzipping me at the beach. So not right.
Unless you are servicing senators in your high priced hotel room. If that is the case buy 2!

I couldn't even check on the maternity clothes. Scary!
I may be getting old but I can't imagine buying anything from this company except plain white Ts (what a great band name!)

Ladybug Love

One fall day after we had just moved into our house in NJ, I decided to plop down on the couch while the twins were napping and watch TV. I don't remember the program that was on when I turned on the television but they were talking about loved ones that had passed away and how they were sending signs to them.
Lights on when they hadn't put them on.
Finding pennies where ever they go.
One story was about seeing ladybugs.

I thought that I would like a sign from my Dad, that he was okay or that he was with me. I hadn't had any and really, I know this is stupid, but I felt let down.

So I decided to test this theory. If my dad wanted to let me know he was with me, then I will see a ladybug right now I said to myself.

So, off I went into the family room because there were big windows there and if I was going to see a ladybug that was where I thought one would be. I looked on my plants, on the window, on the bar- and nothing.


Again I felt so let down. Why couldn't I get a sign?
I heard a car door slam and went to the front door to let E in, and as I did I saw 1 perfect ladybug on my exterior door. I put out my finger and let it crawl onto me. I couldn't believe it but surely it had to be a coincidence.
I opened up the screen door to let E in and I looked down.
The doormat that was there when we bought the house had ladybugs on it.
I had never noticed before.

The earrings I got for Christmas that year were ladybugs, the wind chime my step mother bought for my house has a ladybug on it.
They seem to pop up everywhere.


Now, every once in awhile I see ladybugs in strange places and strange times of the year, when you really don't see ladybugs. When we moved into this house the first thing I noticed was that there is always ladybugs in the master bathroom.
Now when my kids see them, they just say "Hi Grandpa! Mom, Grandpa is checking on you!" and I laugh because I love it.

Could it all just be a stupid coincidence? Sure.
Does the universe work in such a way, do people die and actually "go to heaven" where they send things to people they love and signs? Probably not.
I will never truly know the answer but I do know that I chose to believe I have some force out there and that it is looking out for me and maybe, just maybe, sending some love.

More Me Time!

We know how little time we have being moms. I know just to get something little done for myself like painting my nails or reading a book I have to jump through a bunch of hoops. Just getting a shower is a luxury!

Frigidaire, is unveiling 250 new appliances designed with specific time-saving features to give you more time for YOUR time.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that research shows that Moms are logging more overtime than most Americans. In fact, Frigidaire's recently released "Motherload Index" revealed that moms spend most of their waking lives - 200 hours each month - doing the activities they least enjoy rather than the things they love.

With their new line of appliances, Frigidaire is aiming to free up some newfound "me time" for Moms and they want to know what you'll do with it! By visiting Frigidaire.com, you can share the five things that you would do with an extra hour in your day for a chance to win an entire suite of the new time-saving Frigidaire appliances!

Go to Frigidaire and answer the question: How would you use an extra hour for a chance to win!

The Latest

Scroll down to the bottom of the last post to see my great reviews and giveaways I am having this month. They are SO fantastic, I wish I could give them to all of my readers.
Plus I have more coming soon, so bookmark my other blogs please!

Also, have you read about my BIG news? Yes, I am a big deal around here.

We Pump Fists Not Gas!

When I moved to NH the first thing I did was look up a Moms group. Luckily my husband's cousin's neighbor RUNS the moms group in our town. I have been faithfully attending for almost 3 months now and I love them.
I finally found some moms who are willing to be my friend and have actual conversations with me and invite me places. In NJ I lived an hour away from my friends so I didn't have that as an adult with children.

They are sweet and helpful and like my kids and I like theirs. It has been wonderful.

It makes the transition so much easier for me.
Although I still hate driving 8 miles to Target and 6 to the grocery store when I drove 1 mile for everythingyoucouldeverwantincludingactualrestaurantsthatarenotchainrestaurants.
THAT takes some getting used to.
Want a cake but forgot eggs at the store? You are shit out of luck because I am too lazy to drive 6 miles for eggs.

E still puts gas in my car because I refuse to learn.
Passive aggressive much?

Now I am off to go get ready for the Real Housewives of NY reunion and the premier of real Housewives of NJ, which my friends and I have been dying to see for months.
Don't even get me started on the stereotypes of NJ and all everyone thinks of NJ is mafia and Italians because that is all the media portrays.
Not that there isn't Mafia and Italians all over the joint, but hey, we have such kick ass restaurants a girl cannot complain.
So, watch tonight so we can discuss!
Jerzey Rulez!



Edit: I have so many great giveaways going on right now on my other blogs:
You can win a set of 5 books, perfect summer reading!

What about a luxe, organic 3 piece crib/toddler bedding set?

Lastly I have a great set of eco-friendly water bottles to give to 2 winners.

Shade Of Grey

When I was younger people always told me I looked like my Dad, my sister was the one who looked like my mom. As I got older I would tell her "Look! You gave me your bad eyesight or my asthsma is from your side of the family!"
She would always reply "maybe, but who gave you your beautiful blue eyes and thick hair, people would kill for your hair!"

And I would walk off. Mad. Because, people, she also gave me her premature grey hair!

Now that I am older, once in awhile I will catch myself in the mirror and see a flash of my mother, were I alone once stood.

My hands are my mother's hands.

My beef stroganoff is my moms.

My love for reading is something that my mom fostered in me.

How to change a diaper, care for a sick baby and french braid hair is all from my mom.
That alone gives her a pass for the grey hair.


Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are moms or have moms.


This post was written for all of the moms in the world and for Parent Bloggers Network and http://www.ebay.com/celebritymoms.

Its A Man's World And We Just Try To Defy Gravity In It

I know what my husband meant when he said those words that shall not be spoken again, that I wrote about in my last post. He was saying I have not had the burden of being the sole breadwinner in this family.
I get it.

I am sure it must be stressful because thinking about money and how little of it we have especially after the last year kicked our asses, is something I worry about every single day as well. You know what I say to that? Welcome to being a man.
Be glad that on top of that stress you don't have to add cramps, gynecological exams and trying to not spend your Kid's college tuition on pads, tampons, under eye concealer and bras.
I say it again, if you have any doubt it is a man's world just look at the price of a bra.
Then look at the price of a good bra because you need a good bra for support because after what being pregnant did to your body, you need every advantage you can get and gravity, she is a bitch.

If that isn't enough for you we can talk about sex and how much you want it..........





*edit* I know my header is no longer workign Jen from Trendy Mommy is helping me out with that.
In honor of Mothers day and all of you, my great readers, I have a mother's day giveway for you. Three winners will win a 5 book set of aweome books, perfect for summer reading! Go here to enter!

Husband Faux Pas #849578

Ladies, are you tired from a long week?
Do you need a large cocktail and a space to vent? Well, today is your lucky day.
I have had a long, stressful week myself, the pinnacle of which was when someone googled "grandma boobs" and got my blog.
The hell?

For the record, I do NOT have grandma boobs.
Yet.

Then yesterday during a frank email conversation with my husband he says......are you ready......please take a seat this is a doozie..he says "At least you haven't had to work the last six years".
Ahem.


Ooohhhhhh yeah, he did.
I can't believe I am so tired from this 6 year vacation, I wonder why?

My gift to you ladies, is let him have it, go on...I will make sure he reads every single one of them. Even though our communication halted when those words were uttered.

There's A Fungus Among Us

When we moved into this house it already had all the appliances.
Old appliances.
Original-to-the-house old.
My appliances were new(er) so when we sold our house I took off the appliances on the listing and we brought them with us.
Now the way the kitchen is set here is a little out of the norm and where the refrigerator is, there was not enough room for my larger refrigerator from N.J. and we need our big fridge because we eat a lot.

There was a built in desk in the kitchen that I knew I would never use. So, I asked E to off it and rip that sucker out because I just knew my fridge would look perfect there. Do I need to tell you how right I was about that decision?

So, now we live with a kitchen that has two refrigerators in it. We are going to keep the one that came with the house because it is fairly new, and again, we eat a lot of food, so we were going to eventually move in into the garage once we knew what to do with the hole it would leave in the kitchen.
I don't use this fridge very much except to store some extra frozen meat, but when I opened it today to see what I had in there, I noticed it: mold.
Mold in my freezer!
Who even knew that could happen? Aren't freezer supposed to be cold enough to not let mold grow? I am so disgusted I cannot tell you.
Now added to my to-do-list for today is scrubbing down a freezer.

And yes, you waited for days for this most riveting post.

Favorite Things

Something about the first days of spring mack me melancholy (see my sidebar). I reminisce a lot those first warm days, so today I thought I would share some of my favorite things growing up with you:

Freezy Freaky gloves- you remember the kind that when the temperature was low enough a "surprise" design would show up on them. My sister and I would just cheat and put our gloves in the freezer.

Pop rocks, next to candy cigarettes, best candy ever.

Vidal Sassoon jeans-you were nobody in 5th grade if you didn't have Vidal Sassoon jeans or Gloria Vanderbilt jeans.

Roos sneakers. They rocked because they had a pocket on the side of the shoe. I always put coins in mine for the ice cream lady. You don't want to be the one with no coins when the ice cream lady rolls up on you.

Pink roll on deodorant. I begged my mom for this deodorant way before I needed it because it looked so cool. Everyone should have a pink ball roll on deodorant.

Fruit stripes gum- this gum was delicious for 5 seconds then the taste all went away and it was like chewing rubber cement. Still good times.

Passing notes in class- was it the notes that were fascinating or was it the thrill of getting caught by the teacher? Rate these boys, who would you rather kiss and who is actually wearing a bra to school were popular subjects. Not to be confused with the cheating note, that just had answers on it, tucked under your skirt so all you had to do was look down and flip your skirt hem up a tad.

Saturday morning cartoons- having cartoons on only Saturday mornings and occasionally after school made them special.

Clogs- They were dangerous and made of wood, but I loved mine.

Ditto sheets- hot off the press by your teacher while you were in gym class

Chad Allen- He was my crush. Remember him from Our House with I-pronounce-diabetes-wrong- Wilfred Brimely & Shannon Dougherty?

Wigwam socks- Expensive, thick, bulky socks to be work mostly with keds with NO laces.

Small Wonder- Does anyone remember this show? A man made a robot and had her live with his family & told everyone she was their daughter? Such a strange and fascinating premise.

Big neon colored hair clips with splatter paint on them- preferably worn on the side of your head. Very cool.

I want to hear your favorites from your past and read the comments because I know your comments are going to make me remember some more great things that I loved.


P.S. I have a great review and giveaway going on over here. wink, wink.

Weekly Goals

I am gearing up for having the kids home all week for spring break. This break happens to coincide with baby K having a breakdown which includes being glued to my side for every hour he is awake and even some when he is sleeping. He doesn't want to be apart and I love it, to a point.
That point is pooping. Nobody should have to poop with someone sitting on them.
Not even Fidel Castro. I beleive he deserves to poop alone.
It is distracting and just wrong on many, many levels.

This spring break just makes me more excited to look into a summer camp for them. Something at least 3 hours a day, 3 days a week sounds awesome to me.

*********

I can't believe how much junk we have moved with us to NH. We have junk everywhere. We have a four car garage with 1 car in it, because the rest of the space is taken up by junk.
My kids have as much "stuff" as we do despite my throwing away, donating and selling some of it. It is amazing to me how many toys they really have and how they never play with them.
Never.
There are toy boxes filled with toys that are never opened.
Don't get me started on the clothes.
Bins and bins of clothes old and new (to us) are stacked in my garage and closets.
My goal this week besides trying to stay sane, is bringing various toys and clothing to Goodwill. Someone will love it.

Tell me your goals for this week. If it involves sending me alcohol and/or Chick-fil-a sandwiches, bonus points for you!

What Happens In The Tub, Stays In The Tub

This is the scene I awoke to in my bathroom this morning. So many questions:

When did it become acceptable to swim without bathing suits?
where is the silver surfer's surf board? Shouldn't he be needing it, being that he was in the water and all.
Where does hello Kitty fit into this partay?
Why do my parties never end up looking like this much fun?
Why are all the superheroes face down but the Belle and Pocahontas face up? Is this some sort of signal?
Lastly and most importantly, who the hell is going to clean up this mess?

From E

Hi Everyone,

This is the Infamous E guest posting on Tuesday's blog. You're probably familiar with me and hopefully most of what you know is positive. Anyway, let me start by wishing Tuesday a Happy Birthday again from yesterday. We went out last night an had a great dinner with the kids at a nice seafood place. Tuesday was in great spirits and she looked beautiful, especially with her new scarf adorned around her awesome hair.

Tuesday has been adapting to life here in New Hampshire amazingly well and I am so proud of all the strides she has made in just two short months. As you are probably aware, she did not want to move here, but even with all of her reservations, she took a leap of faith with me... again and came here to have a better life. New Jersey kind of beat the crap out of us over the last few years and once I lost my job, it became impossible for us to stay. Thank you Tuesday for believing in me.

Tuesday is the best wife and mother a guy could ask for and I am grateful to have her in my life. I don't know how she takes care of our three kids everyday and I don't know how she did it for the six months I was commuting here every week, but somehow she did it... as I knew she would. She has made my kids the best behaved, well mannered, caring, funny and sweetest kids ever. Thank you Tuesday.

Tuesday really pours a lot of herself into this blog and allows you to see many things about her that I don't even know about. Thank you for following her and giving her good advice when she needs it. I look forward to guest posting again someday and maybe I'll let you in on some real dirt about Tuesday, but today I just wanted to say... I love you Tuesday.

A Girl and Her Roosters

My boys have the rooster gene and worse then that, they are terrible sleepers in general including E.

While I was taking care of three kids alone in NJ whilst E was off doing something far less superior, like starting a new career so we wouldn't be homeless, I had the pleasure of putting baby K to sleep for every nap, and bedtime 5-6 days a week.
He was terrible.
Dudes, there were nights when I would just sit in the rocking chair holding him and cry because he wouldn't let me put him down.
There were nights that I spent 3 hours putting him to bed only to have him wake up 4 hours later and want to hang out.
I would let him "cry himself to sleep" for 40 minutes before I couldn't take one more second of it.
I have never been so stressed out in all of my life.
There was no one to hand him off to, nobody else to try their hand at it and nobody to bring me a goblet of wine so I could cry into it. Then drink it in one big gulp.

I would do the worst thing that any parent could do: I would give up and let him sleep with me. I know that is just what he wanted and he just played me like a fiddle to get what he wanted.
I know he didn't need to sleep with me to sleep. I know all of this but I had to get some sleep, I was the only one taking care of these 3 little ones during the day, I needed to get some sleep. It is bad enough my BOYS get up no later than 6:30am 95% of the time.
No matter what time they go to bed, they are roosters.

I remember my father telling me a story once of a pediatrician whose sister had trouble with getting her baby to sleep. She told her she had to let her baby cry it out and in 3 magical days all her problems will be solved. On the second day the baby cried so long the mother wanted to go get her but her sister, the pediatrician, blocked the door.
So, she got a knife and told her to get out of the way.
The End.


Here we are at twelve months and he still doesn't sleep through the night every night. He still has troubles with us putting him to sleep no matter how tired he is.
Truthfully? As I am writing this post I am pushing him in his stroller with my foot.
Talk about multi-tasking.


I hesitated writing about this at all and haven't because please I parented twins and survived, this should be cake, how does a mother of 3 not know how to get her kid to sleep?
At this point I am at my wits end. I know separation anxiety has something to do with it and I know some of it is just habit.
I just don't know where to go from here.
And no, yelling "your stupid, F-ing rooster sperms!" at E does not help at all either.
I tried.
Repeatedly.

To Be Saved

When we went back to New Jersey last weekend we were in our driveway putting our boxes of junk into the trailer. I noticed my old friends passed by on the sidewalk in front of our house.
They were my LDS friends that visited me every so often on a Saturday so they could save my soul.

I was always nice to them, I can imagine people's reactions to them on their doorstep. People probably slammed their door in their faces every day.
Pamphlets with Jesus' face on the cover scattered in the streets sometimes, leftovers from when people didn't open their doors to them.
I was fascinated. Mormons/LDS is intriguing to me, I assume because there are few Mormon churches in NJ coupled with my adoration for the show Big Love (how great is Big Love?).

Truth is, I don't think I believe in religion anymore. What little faith I did have was lost when my father died.
I don't want to go to church, I don't want to pray to someone only when my times are tough and I don't want to be a hypocrite to my children.


The last time I saw my visitors I explained that I was moving in a couple of weeks. They wished me well and went on their way. In some way I wished I had more time with them. I do not want to become a Mormon, or a Buddhist or a baptist for that matter, I just wanted to understand how they could be so devoted.
How they could wrap their minds around the tragedies all around us, every single day and still believe.
I want to know why they care enough to walk around the streets in the winter to knock on people's doors to try and save a perfect strangers soul.
I want to ask them just what is so great about religion anyway? Religion is the cause of wars!

I will miss my weekend visits with my Mormon friends.
Or maybe, just maybe, I just wanted to be saved.