Xmas

As many of you know, I lost my Father to cancer in February of this year. This is becoming the hardest part of the year, even harder then right after he died because of the upcoming holidays. Not only that, but it was the week after Thanksgiving last year when my Dad called me and told me he was "bloated" and not feeling right. Those thoughts are constantly in my mind these days, consuming my every last thought. I decided to stay home for Christmas and ride out the sorrow and complete despair I feel for the sake of the rest of my family who would like to be with my children for the holidays.

Today I emailed my step-mother to see what my brother & sister would like for Christmas, and what she wrote back to me broke my heart. She does not want to buy or have anyone else buy anything for her & the kids for Christmas. She wants to escape it all in Disney and just get them gifts from Santa. That makes my heart hurt. I am so sad for her and for my sister and brother, who have to spend their entire lives without my Dad.
I will get them gifts and wrap them in non-holiday paper and give it to them in the new year.

We will celebrate 2005 and pray for a better year, because nothing could be as bad as 2004.