Cry Me a River

When you are going through a crisis (i.e. losing your job, the only income coming into a home with 2 kids and one on the way) it would be best to go through it when you are not gestating. Not that E is gestating, I am.
Of course bad things happen all the time even if they are at inopportune times, but really when my hormones are going crazy, and I cry over the fact that I hate what my husband made for dinner, it is not the best time to be supportive.

I am trying to be supportive, I really am, but I break down and cry at least once a day. I am starting to get uncomfortable in bed these days but that is not the reason I am up tossing and turning in the middle of the night. My mind wanders and I worry about something happening to the baby before the supplemental insurance kicks in, I worry we have enough money to pay our bills, I worry about buying gifts for my kids never mind my family, I worry E will never snap out of this depression. I worry about it all.

Now I wish I cried over fun things like Hallmark commercials and Bush's inappropriate facial expressions.
So, what made you laugh today? Cheer me the f&ck up!

A Life Worth Living

I watched a documentary on Wednesday night called Crazy Sexy Cancer. Really I only watched the middle, I had missed the beginning and didn't watch the end because E came to bed and I thought I could tape it when it was on again, so I can see it in its entirety. Bad move on my part because it is not airing again as far as I and Tivo can tell.

It was about a 31 year old single woman who was diagnosed with a rare and incurable cancer. She was told it was slow growing, but incurable. Eventually she would die from it. Just for a second, try and imagine that.

I wondered what I would do faced with this knowledge. Would I use my fight or flight instincts? Could I live the rest of my life, however long, with the thought that nobody would want to be my partner in life. Who would want to marry damaged good with an expiration date? Would I look for alternative means to help save my life? Would I ever find peace in knowing that there will be an end, and I have lived my life, however short, the way I wanted.

Faced with your own mortality maybe would get people to do what they always wanted, but put off. Climb a mountain, dive from an airplane, learn to speak another language, tour the world. Soak everything in, so as to try to remember all your sights in eternity.
Why can't we live like that now? As if every day was our last? It is great in theory but that is not who we are, mundane life gets in the way, chores, work, just....life.

No matter how long you live, especially for people who have died so very young, could it ever be enough? Could you have lived enough, experienced enough, touched enough lives? That is what I think the filmmaker was going for, to leave her own legacy, to say "you are not alone" to so many other people out there, to make you think. It certainly made me think about how I want to live my life. It was a fantastic film and I really hope the air it again.

So, I ask you besides spending time with your family, which is obvious, what is one thing you would you do, if you had all the resources, before you die?



I know by your comments on my last post you peeps think I am depressed, I am not, I am just in an extreme lazy period. Akin to Picasso's blue period. I am a true artist at laziness.
If that depression commercial doesn't make you feel well, depressed, I want whatever you are drinking, because no matter how good of a mood I am in, it is depressing as hell!

Family Oriented Neighborhood

Yesterday afternoon E was playing with the kids in our backyard when he found this:

This is not our garbage. I swear.

I do love that someone in our neighborhood is getting it on big time with the pleasure pack. Not even with 12 condoms but with 14!

AND it is a variety pack too! I thought the only good variety packs were donuts. I stand corrected.

Things seemed to have changed since I was in the condom buying market of society. Twisted Pleasure condoms?

It sounds like a "adult" drink I buy in a four pack. The Trojan website says that twisted pleasures have a "special twist at the closed end". I can't say enough how this fascinates me.

Then there is Mint Tingle which has mint flavor, fragrance, and color. Does that not sound like it would burn your vagina? I don't really get that one.

I do get Her Pleasure which is textured for her pleasure. Can it also give me a pedicure? That would really be my pleasure.

Lastly there is Shared Pleasures which has warming lubricant for both partners. I am not sure about this. It depends how warm. Warm like a fresh baked roll or like a fiery yeast infection?

Whatever your pleasure, I am glad I got to peek into the ever changing world of condoms and to whichever neighbor bought them, I wish you luck.

edit: now go read my interview for storkcalling. Look under: our blog