Hopeful Wonder

Seriously this has saved my sleep this past week. I highly suggest one to all my pregnant friends or new moms.

I need the sleep too because I am excited about this week. Today is going to be a warm one so I will take the little ones to the park. It will be good to get out of this house and hopefully I can walk so I can perhaps bring on labor and/or counteract the two donuts I ate this morning.
Tomorrow I get my highlights touched up and a well needed trim. I got my eyebrows waxed last week but declined the bikini wax, I just know the minute I get a bikini wax I will go into labor and a sore vagina coupled with labor pains I do not need.
Thursday I go see my homeopath who I know will work his wonders and get me into labor and help with my recovery no matter what way the baby ends up coming out.
I have a good feeling about this week and maybe that means E will finally be offered a job. Keep up the positive thoughts for us, I know they are working and we so appreciate them.

Birth Plan

I went to my OB appointment today and I am less then thrilled with what went down. I am maybe a "finger tip" dilated (eww) and she couldn't strip my membranes. She told me "at this rate you are not going to have a VBAC". Granted she is the least supportive and the one I like the least from this practice, but still can she be any more negative?

I really don't want a C-section, of course if I go to 40 weeks or if there are any complications, I would have one. I have been there and I don't want to go through it again, I had complications, I had a hard recovery. I don't have family & friends around to help me. I have five year old twins. I **hopefully** will have a husband who works outside of the house 40+ hours a week. I have stairs to go up and down.
All of which are not helpful to a 8+ week recovery from surgery.

I have a call in to my homeopath, hopefully he will have magic herbs and potions to help me achieve a successful VBAC.
I want a healthy baby, of course but do they really have to cut me in half to get one?

White Winter

So you are telling me there IS hope for my vagina? Very good news.
It makes me slightly less scared for childbirth, but truth be told, I am freaking out. Not that I am in any way ready, I have not purchased what I need to, dug out what I need to find or packed any bags. It doesn't help that E STILL doesn't have a job and I am in official panic mode. So is he. Hense the no purchasing what needs to be purchased. Maybe I will at least make a list on Amazon of what I need, I can at least do that.


For some strange reason where I currently live in NJ, we get zero amounts of snow every year. In North jersey we got a decent amount of snow every single year, some amounts even prevented you from going to work or school! Nirvana! Now, here outside of Philly, there is no snow. Zero. Less then 1 inch all winter. Strange and very disspointing I have got to say. My poor kids want to play in the snow, use their snow boots, or their forgotten mittens they received for Christmas.
Instead all we get is rain. Dreary, boring rain.
Global warming is a fable, my ass.

Burn Baby Burn

Well, I guess it is official, you are here to stay.
I should have known better then expect you not to come and ruin my days and nights.
Why it took you so long I am not sure, but I am glad you didn't arrive sooner. I really hate you, especially at night, especially when you ruin some of my favorite things like relaxing with a nice snapple apple juice.

I hope you leave soon and I never have to deal with you again.
You are a spiteful bitch, heartburn and I hate you.

I hope you rot in the fiery pits of hell.

Green Hairgasms

I didn't sleep at all last night due to the fact that the wind outside sounded like it was going to tear the roof off. That coupled with the sound of our Christmas lights banging against the house the entire night. E slept like a rock and I wonder how that is possible.

Today I am going to the salon to get a touch up on my highlights. I feel extremely guilty about this because I shouldn't spend the money on my stupid hair but my roots are horrible and I can't stand looking at myself for one more day. My colorist and stylist moved to a "green" salon where they don't use terrible chemicals and leave out the formaldehyde in nail polish and such. They used environmentally friendly building construction, have energy efficient lighting and every packaging is in recyclable materials. I am excited because I feel like I am doing my small part to help the world and because it doesn't look any more expensive then my former salon. I am also looking forward to the shampooing of my hair which will give me a hairgasm.
OK fine, I am mostly excited because I read they have "butlered hors d’oeuvres".

I will just make up for the guilt on spending money we don't have on eating my body weight in hors d'oeuvres.
That is going to be a lot of mini quiches!

The Name Game

My children have decided we need their help on deciding a name for this baby. Of course I am willing to listen since I am the worst with names and so is E. We are so picky and if we make a list of baby names we like, in the end we figure out that we hate them all.
The one name we both really like for a girl is classic but has turned popular in the last few years. That turns me off to a name. I never wanted my kid to be like the 15 Jennifers in my classes, known as Jen lastinitial. That is why I am so glad I didn't name R, Emma, which is SO popular right now. She came very close to being Emma and although I like R's name I wish I went a little more traditional with her name. I love L's name though and would never change it. I couldn't it was the only boy's name we could agree on.

This time if it is a boy he will be named after my father, so that decision is made. We are still on the hunt for a girl's name and the one I really like Charlotte, E hates. He is a pest.

Here are some of my children's suggestions:
R: For a girl we could name the baby Pink or Aria (wft?)
Me: Those are nice names.
L: If it is a boy we could name him Frankie
Me: Frankie? Where did you hear that name?
L: After Frankenstein!
Me: umm, I don't think so.

So do you have any suggestions for girl's names for me, or do you have a name that you heard and was so terrible it made you laugh? I mean like naming your baby after a monster?

Cry Me a River

When you are going through a crisis (i.e. losing your job, the only income coming into a home with 2 kids and one on the way) it would be best to go through it when you are not gestating. Not that E is gestating, I am.
Of course bad things happen all the time even if they are at inopportune times, but really when my hormones are going crazy, and I cry over the fact that I hate what my husband made for dinner, it is not the best time to be supportive.

I am trying to be supportive, I really am, but I break down and cry at least once a day. I am starting to get uncomfortable in bed these days but that is not the reason I am up tossing and turning in the middle of the night. My mind wanders and I worry about something happening to the baby before the supplemental insurance kicks in, I worry we have enough money to pay our bills, I worry about buying gifts for my kids never mind my family, I worry E will never snap out of this depression. I worry about it all.

Now I wish I cried over fun things like Hallmark commercials and Bush's inappropriate facial expressions.
So, what made you laugh today? Cheer me the f&ck up!

That is What They Mean by "Bad Times"

I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
I knew it was just a matter of time.
It can't be helped, it happens to the best of us.
I just didn't know it could happen to me........so soon.

It is OK to admit it, I know I am not alone. I know you, the blogging community, will support me.
People, my belly is now so big that I cannot :ahem: groom properly.
Ladies you know what I am talking about. I am not the agile woman of yesteryear and combine that with me being bigger this second pregnancy and you have yourself a potent cocktail.
Indeed.

My usual grooming habits have fallen wayside and I have now resorted to doing a blind shave in the shower. Yes, it is risky and I know it is not long before I have to give this up too. This time around I am going to have to ask for help sooner. I am going to have to send in reinforcements.
I have to get E to help me.

I felt bad about this last time around, I felt like I was making him do this heinous act. This time around, I feel like it is his duty.
It is the least he could do.
If I have to squeeze a large object out of a small hole then he can at least make it look pretty.

Can I get an amen?

Boo

Boo!
Thank goodness no Halloween candy came in this house until last night because I have already eaten enough for a week! I also cried because E put the mini peanut butter cups in with the candy to give out instead of in the freezer for my own personal stash. Stupid hormones!

Dash and Minnie Mouse are ready to go out and get more candy then they have seen in their lives. We will be eating a bowl of veggies for lunch and dinner to combat the junk we will be eating the rest of the week. It is good that I still have my strange asparagus craving. Speaking of asparagus, how much do I need this?
Parents can't trick or treat but everyone knows we beg for our kid's candy or steal some after they go to bed. What are you hoping your kids bring home for you this year? I would love a nice Baby Ruth.
I know you want to come by my house for candy we are giving away full size candy bars. Coveted by every trick or treater!

*Check back later for our trick or treat pictures. Also you can get Halloween tips and tricks here and don't forget to leave me your ghostly experiences here.

On Such a Rainy Day

I am so glad to hear that my body will never be just mine again. So reassuring.

Speaking of poking and prodding around my bod, I am going to a doctor's appointment today (I know you thought I was going to get dirty, ha, I tricked you), my scheduled appointment isn't until Tuesday, but I have been having bad pains in my stomach and back all day.
I shouldn't say ALL day because it goes away when I lay down but when I stand up or do anything, it is back.
Of course now that I turned into one of those pregnant ladies, you know the ones who call for any little stupid thing, I am sure the pains will go away.
I want to be safe so I will go.
I actually have been worrying because I have not felt the baby move yet. My 20 week ultrasound is not until Monday but it will be reassuring to hear the heartbeat today.

It is always nice to hear a heartbeat.