My Daughter

Dear R,

I wished for you. I wished for a daughter with all my might as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I was excited to dress you up, buy fancy hair accessories and shop with you for prom dresses. You are a sweet, dear girl who always makes me laugh. You are smart, you quickly figured out how to manipulate your twin brother. You are the boss of the family, you want to be first, you want to be the best you want to be admired and loved and adored.
And you are.

This worries me. You already are craving attention, the more you get the more you want. I want to take you buy the shoulders and yell "you are wonderful, you are gorgeous stop looking for these affirmations from others, find it in yourself!"
I want to recite to you all the mistakes I made as a young girl and save you from them. I want to wrap you in your blankie and keep you in my lap forever far away from rejection, boys and mean girls.

My dear R you are a little mother. The way you love your baby brother and take care of him, the way you delight over each new thing he does, lest me know you will be a great mother some day. I know you say you don't want a baby because "they hurt when they come out" (smart, smart girl) but I know you will. I hope you will have a daughter too and when you call to tell me how you want to wrap her in her blankie and save her away from the cruel, cruel world, I will smile and tell you that you will always will feel that way.
Always.