The New Me

This time of year makes me the most melancholy. As if that explains what I am thinking and doing now in my life. It is that first day of spring where you have your windows open all day, and at dusk the cool breeze blows hard down your back and makes you want a sweater but you keep the windows open a little longer?

That day makes me melancholy. Maybe wistful.

I feel better about myself than I have in ages. I have lost weight, I have a income, I am seeing my friends again a couple of times a month. I have new friends. I am doing things outside my comfort zone.

I knew staying home with the twins when they were born over 7 years ago was important- and something I wanted to do.
We decided giving up my salary was something we could sacrifice for it, but I am just now realizing what else I sacrificed in the meantime.
Myself.

Everything was about my kids- especially since we had no friends or family near us to help. That is how it is supposed to be but it really took a toll on my marriage, my appearance, my life. It was if I had no idea who I was anymore besides a mom.

I am coming into myself and it feels fantastic. After this long journey of E losing his job and us scrambling, fighting and praying for 2 years, it feels great to be able to breathe again.
I doubted you people when you said to keep strong and that we would come out on the other side.
We have a ways to go to get back to where we were but we will do it.

I can do it.

Points Of Interest

Are my kids the only ones that are fascinated with the Empire Carpet commercial? The twins would always stop what they were doing to watch when they heard that jingle and know K loves it as well.

I never thought I would ever want plastic surgery but these dark circles under my eyes make me look tired all the time. If I could get rid of them quickly I would! My boss is even considering having a botox party and for a split second I wanted to go.

I am SICK of my bras. SICK. They all stink. I know I am an adult because I am fantisising about spending hours in the Macy's bra department trying out every bra and finding the perfect one.
Now, only if Macy's served drinks in the dressing rooms.

Why do my kids have more/better clothes than I do??

When dd I get my mom's thighs?

What is with this silly bands obsession? Really, wearing shaped rubber bands on your wrist? I am buying them why?? Yet, I get all into it and look for the newest ones for my kids.

What is going on with you these days?

Marriage

This year E and I will be married for ten years. That still hasn't sunk in yet. Ten years is a long time and I still feel like I was on my honeymoon 3 years ago.
I know I was ready to get married. We had been dating for awhile, we talked about marriage and I never got cold feet. I think I had done enough in my single life that I have no regrets, but I wonder what you think is a "must do" before marriage?

I want to know what you would your advise your own child to do before getting hitched?

Do you think you should have your own apartment?
Have had sex with more than one person?
Be over a certain age?

I would love to hear what you think as a complile my list for my own children.