Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Sometimes our kids pronounce something so funny, E and I never correct them because it is so cute. Like at Christmas when they were pronouncing Joseph as Jofus.
To us this was so cute and funny we let them continue to pronounce it that way.

Lay off, we are bored here.

This weekend we are going to a communion and all week long the kids have been calling it a "First Chameleon".
We just chuckle to ourselves. Yes, we are all going to sit around in church and change colors.

Psst, I have a contest going on over here.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Memories of a Full Life

I was standing in the kitchen last night, holding K. E was giving the twins a bath upstairs and for the first time that day, the downstairs was quiet except for lullaby music on in the family room. As I stood with him in my arms I felt the weight of his body shift. I realized I was moving, like all mothers do, rhythmically swaying for the baby in my arms. I was dancing with the new little life that I made.
I wanted to take in that moment and save it, I wanted to store it in my memory bank for later. I will save it for a day when he is a grown man and I can't recall the little baby he once was in my arms.

I have a habit of trying to do that. To try and wish a memory into forever.

When I was two weeks shy of delivering K, we took the kids to the park. I sat there watching my kids play and my husband was chasing them. They all were laughing the big, deep belly laughs that only a father can give you. They were so happy. The sky was a brilliant shade of teal and the grass was particularly green. It was a view like out of a movie.
This was my family and I was so lucky.
Tears sprang to my eyes as I wished it into my memory.

"This is what I will see when I die" I said to myself.

I hope my favorite memories can flood back when I need them most. I want to always remember how it felt to have my babies in my arms. How they smelled, how soft their skin was.
I know I will remember the love I felt. That will never fade for my babies no matter how old or frail I get, or how old they get.

I will always remember the love.
I just know it.

Friday, April 25, 2008

The Elderly

I was letting the kids watch television last Saturday morning (cartoons aren't the same anymore since they put them on all day everyday. I swear I LOVED Saturday mornings with all of the great cartoons and the smurfs were on for TWO hours! Talk about the best excitement you can get that ends at 12 noon! Cartoon network you ruin everything!)
This was what I heard in between some crappy commercial "Remember to call your grandparents or some other elderly person often!"

I had to call my mom and tell her that not only is she a Grandma to five but she is officially "elderly".
At least to the cartoon watching population.

She was so very pleased and asked me to never let the kids watch cartoons again.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Pinch An Inch. Or Thirty.

I wrote this post yesterday and blogger ate it, so now I have to do-over.

I know I promised new pictures last week but my camera is not cooperating. I desperately need a new one. DO YOU HEAR THAT KODAK? SONY? CANON, MY SWEET, SWEET CANON? ANYONE?
OK, then.

I know you must be sick of me complaining about the NJ weather this winter. It was dreary, no sign of snow at all and rainy. Perfect for doing nothing inside all day! Last week spring sprung here and we were frequent visitors to the parks and our backyard. I was hot and I complained I was hot all day.
Although it was more like summer temperatures really, I just need to loose this "baby" weight.
I can fit into my fat jeans with no muffin top and I can fit into my regular jeans with mucho muffin top. We won't talk about my skinny jeans.

My goal? Since I don't have a scale I won't talk numbers, I just want to be back into a single digit clothing size.
Let's hope nursing/carrying a baby around all day and entertaining two five year olds will get the weight off. (sure fatty, howabout you exercises?!)

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Mommas Gonna Keep You Right Here Under Her Wing

I have to admit, being a mom of three is kicking my ass. My five years olds are OK but they are not getting as much physical outlets as I would like and they need. They fight often. They are bored. All of which I understand.

The baby HATES to be put down during the day. He falls asleep, I do the "deep sleep baby test"tm which includes holding his arm up to see if there is resistance, and then carefully lay him down in a swing/bouncer/bassinet/car seat/crib only to have him wake up 2-10 minutes later.
This morning I literally was feeding him and or holding him for 4.5 hours straight. He sleeps great through the night, but during the day he is a challenge.

My body and my head aches. All I want is a shower and it looks like I will have to wait until E gets home later for that.
Dear lord how does Kate do it? No wonder she is so grumpy and pissy to her husband all the time!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Mom Advice

More pictures to come later today but for now, please come over here and tell me when, I should put the baby down!
Also, you can check out some of my recent reviews of cool baby gear here.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Blogging Life

So, I have been doing a little thinking about this blog. Although lately I have had to make decisions like "should I blog or shower?" because I am so busy, I was thinking of taking this blog in a new direction. I am thinking about divulging more about me and my entire family then I have in the past.

This causes me to both be excited at the freedom, and scared to lose my relative anonymity. There is something freeing to be able to say what you want when nobody in real life knows you or your family but will I feel more free if I say those things when people who do know me read it? Could I write about things I want to write about if my mother or my best friends read this blog?
In the past I have chosen not to post pictures of myself or my children, but should I give more of myself to be the kind of blogger that I like to read?
Which begs the question do I blog to give myself and outlet or do I blog now because I want more out of myself so I have to give more?

Tell me why you chose to put pictures on your blog or how you decide what is enough when it comes to blogging about your life and family.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Hair, Massages and Boobs, Oh My!

My husband and children gave me a gift certificate for a massage for my birthday. A well needed massage, I must say, especially after carrying a 9+ pound baby around in my bod for forty weeks (he wasn't 9lbs the entire 40 weeks, I know. He just felt like it). E had made the appointment for 3 that afternoon and I had to rush after I brought all 3 kids to the doctor to pump and change underwear for my massage.
As I was leaving I remembered that I hadn't shaved my legs in some time.

Me: Shit, I haven't shaved my legs!

E: So? Tell the woman you just had a baby and haven't shaved your legs.

Me: And what about my boobs? I have only had time to pump one boob for 15 minutes, what if I leak?

E: So? Just wear your bra, or lay on your side.

Me: Side massages suck. There is no point to them. Wearing your bra sucks ass too, that is where all the attention should be, in my back. I need good back action.

E: So? Just tell her you had a baby!

Me: You know? I am really sick of having to tell strangers "sorry my boobs may leak and please don't look at my unshaven legs"*. It happens more then it should.

Men have it so easy don't they?

* as a young girl, I never would have thought this sentence would have passed my lips, but now, sadly, it is a common occurrence.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

How Old Are You Now

Not only is it my birthday today but I lost a year somewhere.
I thought I was going to be 33 today. Last night my daughter told me I was going to be 34.
She was right.

Talk about a total bummer.

Monday, April 07, 2008

It Is FOUR In the Afternoon Already?

Of course I cannot update as much as I would like to people, I breastfeed all. the. day. long. Who knew all this breastfeeding took place?! It seems like my baby could do it all day long without a care in the world. Good thing he is as sweet as pie and I could kiss his pudgy cheeks forever. Pics of those kissable cheeks to come soon.

But! I have two other kids who want silly things like attention or three meals a day, plus they have the audacity to ask for snacks too! How dare they!

The best news? My two week five day old son slept for 5 hours in a row last night! Can you believe that?
The bad part is that for two of those hours I was back and forth to the bathroom with, ahem, issues. I will still take it.
Five hours!

Are you sick of hearing about all baby all the time? Good. Me too. I could talk about my birthday on Wednesday and how I dread getting old, but maybe I will save that uplifting post for my actual birthday. Fun!


Friday, April 04, 2008

Baby Blues

Post- partum depression? Nahhh. But the baby blues? Yuppers.
I find myself crying at least once a day, usually in the evening. It was the same after I had the twins. I was sad to see my Mom leave, and just as sad to see my mother in law leave. That is when I knew I was in trouble.

I cry when I think about how E has been jerked around by so many companies telling him how great he is but still no job offer.
I cry when E tells me I am a good Mom.
I cry when the baby has a hard time latching on, or is still crying after a marathon feeding in the middle of the night.
I cry thinking about how my birthday is next week and E's in on Sunday and I would love to buy him something great to cheer him up but I can't afford to.

My hormones are in major flux and I am along for the ride. I remind myself it is normal and it could be so much worse. I know my body is being taken on a ride by hormones and sleep deprivation.
E reminded me today I have only been out of the house for 2 doctor's appointments and 1 visit to the animal refuge since I have been home, which is two weeks today.
That is not good.

I didn't leave the house for days and days when I had the kids either and I don't want to make the same mistake. Although it is harder now because I am breastfeeding, I promise myself I will go out this weekend.
I know it will make me feel somewhat human again.

I hope.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Me, Baby and Crap TV

What I watch in the middle of the night while I try to keep myself awake enough to breastfeed this baby who wants to breastfeed for hours and hours and only sleep at the breast and not in his cozy, sweet bassinet:

The colon cleanse infomercial. This was so exciting to me at first, I would watch it over and over fascinated by its claims. Now I am sick of it, but still amazed by the male host who seems so grossed out, he just wants to run home and do one himself because there is probably worms in everyone's intestines!
Worms, I say!

12186 Nutra System commercials. Ex football players use it, Ex 90210 stars used it and even Jillian Barbarie? Wow, sign me up. Who couldn't lose weight if they ate a portion of food the size of a baby's fist?

Chelsea Lately. I hate this chick, but I keep coming back to this stupid show. I guess I can admit it is slightly funny, although I heard she dates the head of E! which may be why she has any show in the first place.

Keeping up with the Kardasians. What a terrible, forced, set up "reality" show. I can't look away from Bruce Jenner's face though and wonder, which cosmetic surgery really started making him look like skeletor. Between him and his wife some cosmetic surgeon bought another mansion in Bev Hills.