Thursday, December 29, 2005


Now it is my turn to be sick as a dog. I guess running around like a mad woman and standing in the rain for funerals doesn't help.

Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Recap

Well Christmas wasn't what I expected it to be this year. Baby B was still sick on Christmas Eve, she wouldn't nap and we all know a good sleep is what you need when you are sick. We put her in the car to go to my Aunt's house and she slept for about an hour on the way. As soon as we got there, I noticed she was burning up, I sent E to the store for more medicines, gave her motrin that my Aunt had and in about 20 minutes she was her old self again. The next morning she was not that good though. She was too sick to open gifts and all she has done for the past 72 hours was sit on the couch. Occasionally she get second wind and will act herself and play but she has eaten NOTHING in 48 hours and we had to make her drink all day yesterday. Finally I had to take her to the doctor's yesterday because she was so lethargic and wasn't drinking. The doctor gave her a deadline for 6pm to pee or we had to go to the emergency room. At 6pm after forcing her to take sips of water for 2 hours I made her sit on the potty and pee. She was hating me at theat moment, but it was better then being in the emergency room!
I think she is better now, her fever broke late last night and she has a lingering cough but otherwise I think she will make it.

Christmas dinner at my house was a ton of fun and my dinner came out great. I was impressed with myself! I didn't know if it was going to come off at all because my grandmother, my mother's mother, died Christmas morning. She was old and sick for awhile so it was expected but still not great news on any morning, nevermind Christmas morning.
The wake is tomorrow and the funeral is Thursday. I have to peel myself away from Baby B's side and go out to find something to wear.

Wish me luck.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Merry Christmas!

I don't know if I will have time to post again before Christmas so I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah now. My head is going to explode with all the preparations I have left to do. Complicating things are the fact that I have a head cold that I need to shake asap (any home remedies for me?) and Baby B has an ear infection and has a head cold too. She officially has received her first antibiotics. Yay us!

I still have to run to grocery store tomorrow, find something to wear, get the kids hair cuts, prep dinner, wrap the last half of gifts and go to the mall to return a gift. Sounds just like the list I had yesterday right?

I hope you all have a great holiday and remember what it really is about.

Thursday, December 22, 2005


I think I am sick now. Well, I have a post nasal drip problem and I am all stuffy and my throat is killing me. I have a lot to do though so I am trying not to let it bring me down.
Baby B has a cold now too, Baby A is feeling better but still not 100%. Right before Christmas is not a good time to go down with a cold.

I still have to wrap all my gifts, bake cookies for my family, think of something to make for dessert on Christmas eve, figure out something to wear for Christmas Eve, try to start preparing for my Christmas dinner for 8 that I have never made before and go get cold medicine for my kids. AND exchange something at the dreaded mall for E that someone already got for him.

Just typing it out makes me tired. Wish me luck kids, it is going to be a bumpy ride.

Oh and go check out Mommy Bloggers they are having some cute stuff go on over there, and yours truly took part in a 5 part survey of wacky questions for the site. Check check check it out.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

C'mon Reg

Does Regis Philbin really think he can sing? I like the guy but does my morning tv have to be peppered with him singing christmas music on every show?

I thought Kathie Lee singing every second was bad.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Cue the music! Cue the streamers and hats and parade! Cue the fireworks!
My kids took a nap today! BOTH of them. At the same time.
If you had twins you would know how big this is.
The last two days Baby A hasn't been feeling himself so I would lay down with both of them and read a book on the floor while they slept in their respective beds. If they didn't fall asleep right away I would rub their back and heads and they would fall right asleep. It could very well be because they aren't feeling 100% but maybe, just maybe they will get into a routine of these naps again and take them by themselves.

This my friends has put me into a great mood. If people tried getting their kids to nap, maybe they wouldn't turn to drugs. I am just saying.
Now I am prepping to make my world famous baked ziti for my hungry, loving husband. Wrapping some gifts and if Netflix is a good little company I will be lying in bed watching reruns of Oz before we go to sleep. Great plan!
If you are planning on asking me for something for Christmas now is the time to do it, that is how good of a mood I am in.

Monday, December 19, 2005


Mondays usually get me down, but today is different. I guess it is because I am so busy I don't even have time to sit down.
This weekend was busy we had two parties to go to both 1.5 hours away. My nephews are sick and I think Baby A caught something from one of them because today he has a runny nose, red eyes and a stuffed head. Poor thing. It has been so long since either of my kids has been sick, I have to call the doctor and ask what to give him and what kind of dose.

I have to go grocery shopping and I really dread it. The store is going to be packed, but the closer it gets until Christmas, I know the more packed it will be. So today is the day. I am having Christmas at my house this year (first time) and my list is like 700 items long. I am armed with coupons though and I am hoping to escape unscathed.
I can hope.

I am missing my Dad a lot, this time of year is very hard. I feel my emotions are like waves with its ups and downs. I wonder if it does get easier, it doesn't seem to, yet. Maybe one day. But then I wonder if that would be better, would I feel guilty if it didn't hurt as much as it does now? Would I be better off or would it be like letting go of someone you never want to let go of? I don't know, and nobody can give me those answers, those are for time to tell me.
I can hope.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Is It Really Almost Christmas!?

I can't believe how fast December is going, it seems like it was just Thanksgiving.
Today the kids have gym class then I have to run around a bit to get some last minute gifts for E's parents since we have to mail them out tomorrow. After that I just have a couple more gifts to buy. Thank goodness. I have to wrap them all still, but I really love doing that.
That is the fun stuff.

Wendsday out with my girl friends was so much fun, we ate, we went to Canal Street for some shopping and then came home & shopped a little more. That is always fun.
I haven't baked any Christmas cookies yet, so I plan to do that next week, I think the kids will love to decorate them and eat them since things like cookies are a big treat here.

I hope everyone has a nice relaxing weekend!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Happy Birthday

Today I will bring you a gift, but not to your house
to a place I never thought I would be
I will cry
selfishly for myself
I miss you today
even more then yesterday
I remember the smell of your cologne on my hands
after I drove your car
your bright smile
the way you made me feel like it would be ok
even if I was unsure
the glimmer in your eyes
your jokes
the way you made everyone comfortable in our house
I remember your hugs
and your voice
how you always called my by my middle name
I remember your love like a blanket covering me
even in the coldest and bleakest days of my life
I hope I always remember
I remember your strong hands
I remember
I remember
I remember
I remember

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


I am still so sad that FOX cancelled Arrested Development. It was such a smart, hysterical show. I really don't get all the mindless sitcoms they have and don't get me started on the reality TV shows they come up with.
Is anyone really going to watch skating with the stars? Really?

I guess the show is too smart for most people in this country. I guess they still want to watch Cheaters and Room Raiders.
All I have now is The Office, sob.

R.I.P. Bluth Family

Looking Forward

I am so excited for tomorrow. I am meeting my friends in my hometown and then cruising into the city for this, which is one of our favorite meals.
Then maybe some shopping nad then back to NJ for a long ride home. E will be watching the kids for me tomorrow because my nephew has pneumonia! And obviously they shouldn't be around him.
It is easier for me then I don't have to worry about dropping them off and picking them up before I go home.

NYC is so great this time of year, you can smell the chestnuts roasting and the air is so crisp, people bustling about with a ton of bags in their hands. It just feels like Christmas. I love it.
I miss living so far away from NY but I am much luckier then many, many other people who will never even get to visit, and an hour trip is nothing to complain about.

Other then that, I still have a couple of gifts to get for Christmas. I have completely decorated my house and I am getting ready to prepare Christmas dinner for my family.
I think my kids have been shopping with me too much because now my daughter will take my husbands business card and "swipe" it between the keys on my keyboard and tell me she is "paying for somthin". Very cute and dangerous!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Mommy Bloggers

Go check out the Mommy Bloggers site. They asked me and some other Mommy bloggers some questions for their site. Those ladies are funny to no end and well, Ann Douglas was one of the women and I loooove her. With out her books, which I think are the best and only books for new Moms, I wouldn't have made it the first year.

So yeah, go check it out.

Friday, December 09, 2005


I love that they didn't show Good Morning America so we can have live coverage about the snow storm we had. It was supposed to snow here about 4-6 inches, but we only got about 2. Last night I actually heard a weatherman say we will get between 1-12 inches! Way to cover your ass loser.

So this storm was kind of a dud, but today all morning we had to hear such breaking coverage like "So Cindy, when you stomp your foot into the snow does it have a film of ice on top?" or "I think I see the sun peeking out, I can't believe it". Bullshit.
Then they showed their website complete with cameras on a major highway, so "if there is a major accident you can see it from your home!" all said with a smile. I don't know about you, but first thing in the morning with my coffee, I love to see a nice life altering car accident.

Pure genius!

They wrapped that all up by telling the viewers to make sure to get a "warm coat on before going outside" uuummmm, thanks asshat, I thought it only snowed when it was in the upper 80s, and today I was going to wear a light camisole with no bra and short shorts.
I swear a fish could be a better news anchor person.

Thursday, December 08, 2005


My Christmas cards all went out yesterday. I am sure I will have a few straggler that I forgot to send, but I ordered extras just for that purpose.
I should have dressed the kids up like Mary & Joseph for the card, I think that would have been great. Maybe I will have another baby next year that that baby will make a nice Jesus.

Baby B is doing fabulous at peeing on the potty. She won't poop though, but that is ok. She wakes up mostly dry in the morning and although I do keep pullups on her, she has had no accidents. Well except that she has peed on her onesie undershirt a couple of times. That is to be expected though. That girl sure loves to flush the potty. And really who doesn't? It is very rewarding to see it go away and new water come on in.
It is the little things in life, my friends, the little things.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The Day

I haven't posted in awhile and I am sorry about that. The truth is, I have had nothing to blog about. My life has settled into the mundane, the ebb and flow of life, the daily rituals we all have.
I live for the highs of life, I love looking forward to things and when they are done I get depressed. I am not sure if that is normal or not, but I have been that way all my life.

I remember asking my parents what they looked forward to, it seemed a depressing life, an adult. No summer vacations, no sleepovers, buying all the gifts instead of getting them all. "We look forward to seeing your vacations, your holidays and we relive them again" my mother told me. "It is better to watch you open your gifts instead of getting one for myself."
Now looking back, I guess she summed up parenting for me right there, it is better to give then receive, it is watching your children grow, seeing them experience something for the first time, those are the things you look forward to.
That is what keeps you going.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Fruitcake Virgin

I have never ever seen a fruitccake in my entire life until today.
No wonder people made fun of it, what the hell is it?
I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye today at the store, at first glance I thought it was a fire starter log, on closer inspection it turned out to be the dreaded fruitcake.

Do people really give these as gifts to other people? Is it that common of a gift, because it has been a running joke for years that nobody likes them and they suck. Plus, what the hell is in them? I think I saw a petrified cherry along with some petrified green things. What fruit is green?

Well, maybe now I have seen everything.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Besides the kids not napping, Baby B is doing great going to the bathroom on the potty. Baby A not so much, but that is ok.
I am just now thinking about what I will do when they really are potty trained & I have to take them potty in public restrooms. Restrooms I never use unless it is dire straits because I am so germ phobic. I know there will be a lot of "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" and carrying of my own antibacterial soaps. God I am a freak.

We have decorated the house for Christmas already & E is finishing up the outdoor lights as I type this. I am very excited for the holidays this year and I am definitely in the baking/cooking mood too which is nice.

I am 95% done with my shopping too. Can you believe it, 95% done and it is not even December yet, that is a record for me. I have a large family too, so it is a lot to plan and all of E's family lives away so you have to ship that stuff.

My $300 (on sale) Maclaren stroller broke when we were in Florida and now I have to ship it to them so they can repair it. I mean ridiculous is a fair word to describe this mess. A $300 stroller should be made sturdy and strong, the freakin metal bent as I was unfolding it. I am strong, but that strong? Maclaren customer service sucks too.

I am still so addicted to my nano. I love, love, love it and I use it every day. I am joining the gym after the new year so I hope to use it more there!
That about sums it up around here. I can't wait for Lost tonight, it will be the last one until January, so I will be in withdrawals.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I Need a Drink

My kids are not napping again and it is driving me wild. They were getting into good habits but since E has been home, everything is crap again. They now wake up at least 2x a night crying about the light not being on, or that they want to play or just nonsense because they are just talking in their sleep. They are no well rested in the morning, and are fighting, crabby, crying so I put them to bed instead of waiting until after lunch. They just won't take a nap unless I stay in there with them, but they have to learn to fall asleep on their own.
Does anyone want almost three year old twins?

On a good note, Baby B is just about potty trained. She just did it herself, because I always forget to ask or push the issue. Now since she has started Baby A stopped going on the potty.
These two are strange and giving me a run for my money!

Monday, November 28, 2005


There is nothing sexier to me then a man shopping alone at Toys R Us. I guess because you don't see to many men do it, or you see them being dragged in by their wife, but to come to TRU after work in your suit and pick out toys, way sexy.
If you are in your suit and you have the kids with you...........Extra sexy points.

Saturday, November 26, 2005


This is my holiday wish list.
For my aching back
For my kitchen
For my feet
For my arm
For my body
For my family room
For my head
For my hands

Not that I am going to get any of this, but it is a wish list.
What do you want for Christmas?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Turkey Day

I remember being in grade school and the day before Thanksgiving we would have a small party and fun things to do. I remember the teachers writing Thanksgiving on the chalk board and you had to make as many words as you could with the letters from it. I loved stuff like that.
I am going to my Aunt's house tomorrow and will be bringing a couple of my favorite dishes, so I will prep tonight. I love thanksgiving food and I like to cook so its a perfect holiday for me.

This year I am thankful for many things especially my family and our health.
I will also be thinking about people who aren't so lucky and really trying to count my blessings.
Because I am not rich, sometimes I wish I had more or less, or I think someone has a better life then I do but when it really comes down to it I have the best family in the world and really, what more could you ask for?

Monday, November 21, 2005

A Thanksgiving Miracle

Today my kids took a nap. Wait, you don't understand how fabulous this really is, or how happy I am right at this very minute.
They took a nap that didn't require me yelling up the stairs, laying commando style on the floor, threatening, begging or bribing.
Do you know how huge that is?
They went in, laid on their beds and fell asleep. It is a miracle.
Pushing their map time back is such a glorious idea and it really worked.
Yesterday they each took a small bite of mashed potatoes and didn't hurl and now this! It is like leading a new life.

I love today. I love my kids.
And I love all of you who had the suggestions and comments, thanks guys.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Bark MD?

My dog has been drinking massive amounts of water lately and I don't have a good feeling about it. I couldn't get an appointment until Monday night. I wish I could look it up on WebMD, but since she is not a human, I think the symptoms of panting and excessive licking of her butt would be lost.
They should have a Web MD for pets.
then I could look up all the dumb things she does and not have to pay $95 for an office visit to the vet! I could find out why she barks in her sleep, rolls in deer shit constantly, has to go inside/outsie/inside/outside/inside all day looong and even why she must fart only around me.

Friday, November 18, 2005

New Fashions For Moms

I have to email CCG and let her know the new "mom's" fashion of capris are out because the cold winter months are approaching.
It is official, the "Mom" capris have been replaced with velour jogging suits. Black, preferably.
The kids had gym today and at least two moms were dressed in their uniforms with one mom just wearing the pants.

We don't care if they are out of style or if we have more junk then J. Lo has, we will wear our comfy jogging suit with pride.
At least I feel some shame when wearing them, but hey, I have to be comfortable and black hides the mess little kids leave with their hands all over you!

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Today I went to pick up the dog from my sister's house. She was taking care of her while we were away on our trip. The kids loved seeing their Aunt and couldn't wait to tell her what they had seen and done.

Jet Blue rocked except for our delays and the one strange man on our plane coming home who I assume was bi-polar and cursed the stewardess and had to be taken off the plane by NJ cops when we landed. Strange and scary.

Disney was so much fun. Seeing the park through my children's eyes was the best and I didn't even get upset when we forgot to go on the "adult" rides.

I am so happy E is home where he belongs. I feel even safer and I just missed the guy.

My ipod nano is my new favorite toy. I love, love, love it maybe even as much as Target. It is addicting to buy songs though and I have to watch myself.

I also love my new sweater from target and even though it isn't the best cashmere in town, you can't beat the price. Plus with two small kids with dirty everything, wearing expensive clothes is not the way to go.

This weekend we have nothing planned and I am thankful because I have a date with TiVo to catch up on all the stuff I have missed the past week.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The Toughest Job

Its hard to be a Mother. I have seen just how hard it is first hand these last 4 weeks. Alone, just me being the disciplinarian, the cook, the driver, the soother, the reader, the only comforter.
I have been tired, sick, and frustrated. I have yelled, cried, had my patience tested, threatened, pleaded, screamed and given it.
I have done it all. I have had the worst, most trying days as a Mom these last couple of weeks. The ones where I wanted to not be a mother to anyone anymore.
Two days ago I had one of those days, but then right before I put them to bed again, right when I was thinking, I can't go on anymore, I just cannot do it one more day, my daughter said "Mommy, you're the best Mommy and I love you".

That is what makes me go on.
I will have bad days but the good always outweighs the bad and you go on.
You just do.
And for that, I am thankful.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Reason #14

Reason #14 why I miss my husband:
I don't make coffee well at all. E makes it when he is home because he is up first. When he is gone I make it every day for myself because I still need it, but it is terrible. It is either too strong or too weak. I just can't get it right no matter how hard I try.

I guess my afternoon will be spent at Starbucks again.
At least they get it right.

And why doesn't starbucks have a drive thru? That would make my life complete. None of the Dunkin Donuts around here have drive thrus either. At home you can spit and it would land on a DD drive thru. Who wants to take two kdis out of their car seats, wait for coffee and put them all back in, I am too lazy for that.
I am too lazy because I haven't had my coffee.
A vicious circle, I tell ya.

Friday, November 04, 2005

What A Loser

We all know how Britney Spears' marriage is going to go. One day she will wake up, millions poorer and realize what a loser he is and dump him ass. She is still supporting him now because I assume she is busy with her baby. Not K-Fedm, the other baby.
Lets play a game, finish this sentence:

If I were K-fed I would....................................

Bury myself in her cleavage & die a happy man

use up as much money as I can before I get tossed

Go get new cornrows and call it a day

Ok, now it is your turn.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

This and That

I wonder why a lot of little people seem to never age. Like Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis. It is like they have struck the fountain of youth.

I met two really bratty kids in the kids gym class today. Wow, what brats these two were. One looked to be about 7 (which is strange because why isn't she in school?) and quite overweight. The strangest part is, is that she had something stuffed in her tight shirt, like she was stuffing her bra. I think she was wearing an undershirt, but she kept readjusting her "stuff". It was so weird and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

My hairstylist always wears gauchos and I find it to be a bit unnerving. I have been going to her for a year now and I think only once was she wearing another type of pant.

Speaking of pants, my favorite pair just ripped down the butt. I am pissed. Damn Gap.
I am on a pants patrol right now looking for some great ones. Any suggestions ladies?
I feel like just getting pregnant so I can wear elastic waists 24/7 and call it a day.

I am so addicted to Laguna Beach and I am fairly embarrassed to admit that. Jason is a dork and I am so wanting a Team LC t-shirt.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

To Dream

I had a dream about you last night, I was telling you something, we were laughing. I woke up and reached for the phone to call you, you would love this story. Then it hit me.
Like a huge wave crashing on top of me, I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was tumbling in the waves, drowning.
The realitization.
The truth.
What I swallow down like a huge lump, down deep inside, hoping the memory will never resurface.
The truth. That I will never see you again.
That you are gone, that I can't smell you on my hands after I go home. That your love won't envelope me like the warmest of all blankets.
How can that be?
Why can't it be easier, why can't I accept it.
Why did it have to be you.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Another Day

My Mom was here the past two days to help me out and to enjoy her grandkids. The kids had a blast trick or treating, they were polite, only took one candy and were very excited jsut to be dressed up. Well, and they loved the candy. They were all sweet jesus this crap is goooood.
I looked at them with a look that told them I know, my friends, I know.

My Mom was a big help but as usual we drove each other to drink and she headed out to the liquor store after the kids went to bed for more supplies.
Halloween is fun!

As far as my day is going now, all I can say is that I got a much needed manicure & pedicure, and I am a different woman because of it.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween!

Today will be a good day. It has already been decided.
My Mom is here to help me take the kids trick or treating, which they are excited about.
It is the first year where they understand and can actually have the candy. Last year we would swap out candy that they got for raisins. I will do that to some extent today too. My kids have only had a lollipop once and have had M&Ms when they go on the potty. Besides that, they have never had candy.

Baby A is going to be a bee and Baby B is going to be a mouse. I am going to be a desperate housewife on the edge. Great costume right!?! Where ever did I come up with that one?

Anyway, I am hoping to be the "good candy house" I have yummy sponge bob candy and a variety of chocolates. I hope I don't eat them all before my doorbell rings once.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

A New Thought

Daylight savings time is a fraud. I loved "falling back" until this year.
Daylight savings time is just for the young and the childless.

Damn farmers.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Deep Breath In and Out

Ok, I am better today, but it is only 10:20 am. There is time.
I feel like my kids are trying to sabotage the last brain cells I have and drain the remaining energy I have. I feel like they were sent from the government to see how long it will take a typical housewife from NJ to break.
Ha, Ha government it took me almost 3 years, I bet you never thought I would last that long considering my outbursts at my former place of employment!!! The joke is on you, crappy government.

Ok, now I am hallucinating. Well, that could be because I was up at 4 AM listening to my kids play like it was the middle of the afternoon. After I went into their room and explained that the moon was still out and that means we still sleep, blah, blah, the roosters aren't even up yet, blah. I fell back into my bed wondering how children that could have any DNA from me wake up at that ungodly hour.
I mean really.

E comes home tonight and I feel like boadring a plane to beachville and never returning. I need a break soon so I don't break. I need a one way ticket to heaven.
Anyone want to join me?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

So Hard

Thank you all for your suggestions and well wishes, I really do appreciate them.

I just feel myself falling apart minute by minute. Like the threads of my body and soul are unraveling. I have tried everything and I have just decided to live in this mess of a house. I don't have the energy or desire to clean up any of the 100 messes they have made today alone. I can't keep up with it anymore.

E is pissing me off too. Usually when he leaves for an extended amount of time he will send me flowers or a small gift. He always will leave a note for me or a card, telling me he loves me and he will miss me very much. This trip I received neither.
It is not that I want something, I don't but a card or a note telling me he will miss me or just that he loves me shows me his support and encourages me for the time alone.
Maybe it is because of all the stress I am under now, but I am so sad thinking about how I didn't get a note from him. I really think that was a shitty thing to do.
Yeah maybe he forgot, but he has done it every time he goes away for the past nine years.
It may really sound petty, but I needed it and I don't think it is asking too much.

I just wish I had someone to go out to coffee with, without kids.
I wish the liquor store delivered.

Bad Day

Look at what my kids did while I thought they were napping.

In case you can't tell that is ALL of their socks, shoes, underpants, pajamas, toys and everything on the bottom rung of Baby B's closet.
It was two feet deep of clothes in some sections of her room. I cried and they thought it was funny.

I really don't know what to do, but they are officially out of control.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Because I Too Love the 80s

Wow, thanks for the overwhelming response to my massage plea. I can really feel the love.

Now on your way over stop off at Best Buy and pick me up some 3-D glasses so I can watch I love the 80s 3-D.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Pretty Please?

Who ever would like to come over and give me a 60 minute massage and maybe a pedicure will be my new bestest friend.

I will even give you homemade banana bread and chili and I will let you snoop around my whole house while I take a quick nap.

Any offers?

True Story

"Thanks for calling Verizon, my name is Sperm how can I help you"

"Did you just say your name was sperm?"

"yes, ma'am, how can I help you"

"well my phone is still not working but you just made my day"

I wonder what his last name is. Maybe it is Whale, or Testicle. Or Load, Donor or Bank.
I could go on all day people.

I am going to mentally add this one to my list of strange names I have encountered including but not limited to:
Connie Leg
Joan Foot
Dick Catheder
Carl Hussy

Monday, October 24, 2005


There is a new addition to our family. Yes, I have been wanting this for months now and we couldn't be happier. It arrived late Thursday night, and you can see it here.
that's right baby, Momma has a new set of wheels. I love my new dyson, it picks up crap that I never knew was hiding in the carpet. Dust and hair that didn't come out with my old vacuum. I tested it. I am smart like that.

I would never have paid this much for a vacuum, but my friend got a deal and I would only have to pay 48% of the price. I couldn't pass that up especially since the piece of crap one my mother-in-law insisted I buy is broken. After only 13 months.
Yeah, it sure it a great.

Motherhood has brought me to a new low. My kids still won't stay in bed to take naps. To say I am frustrated is a huge understatement. They get up, take all of their clothes out of the dresser, open the closet take out all of their shoes, pull all the diapers and wipes out to their boxes and throw them all over their room. I could pull my hair out.
They could give less then a shit about yelling at them, taking things away, threats, quiet time, timers or anything else. Pretty much they give me a "this is all you could come up with?" look from them.
So now I have taken to laying on the stairs commando style waiting for them to get out of their beds so I can scare them by shouting "get back into your bed" or barging in and putting them back in bed.
I really wish E was here so he could take a picture of me, because lets face it, it is a funny sight.
Sometimes Baby B will catch me peeking through the crack of the door and says "Hi Mommy!". Then I practically fall down the stairs with laughter.
I mean look at what I am doing! I really didn't think motherhood could come to this.
But it has my friends, it has.

Saturday, October 22, 2005


Thank goodness E return last night, even if it is only for the weekend. It is nice not to be the only one changing poopy diapers. I think the kids are trying to kill me via dirty diapers because I probably changed 15 poops since Sunday afternoon. A record in our household.

Today we are doing a whole lot of nothing. We did do our pumpkin and I roasted the seeds. Yum.
Tomorrow I will bake E a cake before he leaves. Really it is for him, he wanted this strawberry cake mix he said his Mom never bought him when he was a kid. The leftovers will be left with me though, so really everybody wins.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Mommy Dating

It was so easy when I was young, I went outside and played with the kids in my neighborhood. Those had had other friends or cousins and so your circle of friends became bigger and bigger. Nowadays it is a lot more complicated. The friend making is orchestrated, gymboree classes, after school programs, sports. Basically your parents make your friends for you.

I feel like that is what I have to do since I didn't grow up here and I don't work outside the home. Brace yourself, wait for it..............................., I am going to Mommy Date.

That is right, I will sign myself up on the internet, with a picture and put myself out there to see if any other Moms in my area want to date me. With our kids of course, which are tiny chaperones and how I see it, a great excuse to get the hell out of there in case the date goes sour. No longer do I have to fake a stomach ache or an early meeting the next day if someone gets a little "feely" or wants to take to the next level. Now I can tell me date my kid has a crap and I am out of diapers, or that they need their nap!
Whats not to love?!

Hopefully we wont go all the way on the first date. I would hate to swap recipes so early on.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Why doesn't Starbucks deliver?

They should at least sell a IV drip of espresso.
I would buy two.
One for each arm.

Why Today Sux

Reasons Why Today Sucks Already and it is only 9:09 am:

1) My dog must have snuck downstairs to crap all over my beige carpet which was just cleaned 6 days ago. She must have not been going because she usually poops when E takes her for a walk at night. Even though she has been outside all DAY and NIGHT yesterday, I guess it wasn't the appropriate "time" or "place" to poop.
Does anyone want a mutt?

2) I threw up from cleaning up the "other" diarrhea she had on my new oriental carpet in the family room. So glad she didn't pick the wood floor which is 60% of my downstairs to shit on. What a bitch!
Throwing up before you eat or drink anything in the morning is no fun, thank god the door was right there so I could just open it and puke outside.

3) my kids were up 2.5 hours later then usual and didn't take a nap (the norm) and still woke up at 6:15am!

4) I am going on my fourth day of sleep deprivation. Coffee is not workign as well as it used to.

5) I have to go to the doctors for a checkup in 30 minutes. With my kids. Not too much fun there.

Hopefully I will have a better, more cheerful update for you later.

EDIT 6) I went to the doctors but she was out sick. I did not get that message because IDT still hasn't fixed my phone line. I have been without a phone for 10 days now.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Pieces of Me

I miss E already. He left Sunday morning and won't be back until Friday night, then he will return to training on Sunday. This routine will go on for four weeks.
It is hard being alone with two toddlers, even harder since I don't have any friends or family here, they are all 90 miles away. So, I have to do it alone. Which is fine I guess since it is all that I have ever known.

I see now how much E does around the house he loads the dishwasher, I empty it. He takes out the garbage, he feeds the cats. He sweeps and vacuums as much as I do.
Now I have to do it alone. It has given me a real admiration for single mothers.

I miss him still. I can't wait until Friday.

Saturday, October 15, 2005


Amanda tagged me with this eons ago and I just didn't get around to it. Finally, here it is:

7 things I plan to do before I die:
Go to Ireland
See my grandchildren's children
Walk on the beach while it is snowing
Make a quilt with outgrown clothes from my kids
Go to Hawaii
Tell my kids every day how much they mean to me
Own a monkey who likes to wear dresses

7 things I can do:
Pee, change my kids clothes, and have a conversation all at once
Speed read
Shop like the devil
Try anything once
Research on the internet for hours

7 things I cannot do:
Decorate a cake
Kill anything bigger then a nickel
Pretend to like someone, who I just don't like
Shop at Bed Bath & Beyond
Change a nasty diaper without gagging
Probably own a monkey that likes to wear dresses

7 things I say often:
Stop it
Are you kidding me
Put the cushions back on the couch and stop laying on top of each other
You can have MMs when you tinkle or poop in the potty*
What's up kid
Stop following me everywhere! I am NOT the pied piper.

7 celebrity crushes
Antonio Sabato Jr.
LL Cool J
Ryan Phillipe
Harry Connick Jr.
Ricky Martin
Beyonce Knowles
Eddie Vedder

* I only say this to E

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Fall With Me

Reds and oranges, pumpkin seeds, leaf piles to dive in, neighbors outside, beef stew, jackets on, witches on sticks peeking out at you, candy.

Soups, hot dogs at football games, nip in the air, frisky dogs, driving with your windows open, quilt back on your bed, cooking hearty foods for hours, muted skies, warm teas, cozy sweatshirts.

Cookie cutters, baking, long evening walks, bonfires, ESPN, tureens, pale yellows and browns, football jerseys, warm pjs and hugs.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Sorry I've Been MIA

Today I went to the doctor because my cold is not getting any better, it has gotten worse even. I have asthma so the slightest cold goes right into my chest. The doctor told me for the first time in fifteen years, she doesn't have the flu shot this year.
Looks like I will be standing in line with all the old people at the grocery store for mine.
Oh well at least the trip to the doctor gave me an excuse to go to Target for my prescriptions.

Baby B had just healed from a scrape to her nose, when E took her for a walk today she fell and scraped it again. Just in time for Christmas pictures! I will have to teach her to put her hands out when she falls because I guess she doesn't have that instinct.

LOST tonight, which I am ALWAYS psyched about. Didn't last weeks episode seem to have a lot more commercials then normal? What is that about? I think those people which Ana Lucia are from the Nigerian plane crash that had all the heroin in the Mary statues.

Lastly, do a anti-rain dance will ya? We are flooded over here in NJ, with no end to the rain in sight.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Addicted to Love

When I first started dating E I was 22, still living at home and working with him. After about four months he planned a trip to Florida to visit his sister & brother in law. He invited me to go, but I didn't because I wanted to save up money to move out. Get my own pad like he had.
So he left for a week's vacation and I got sick. My Mom diagnosed it as love sick, and I was.
I was so lonely and I knew I loved him more then I had any other person in the world, but we had only known each other for a few months, how could this be?
I was physically sick, with the tissues and the chicken soup.

Fast forward nine years almost to the date and here I am again, sick and sad because E is leaving for a month for work. Now it is even harder because I have the house, the kids, the dog and the cats to worry about. It is all on me. Me. The girl who still feel like she is 16.
How in the hell am I going to do it?

Sure E will be home for the weekends, but I will still miss him terribly. I always joke that I am addicted to him, that he is my drug, but what is scary is that I think it is true.
Maybe I am more dependent on him then I should be. Maybe this is my chance to prove to myself that I am an adult and I can do it all by myself.

OR maybe I will fail miserably and E will find me in a ball in my closet.

Friday, October 07, 2005


My children have the combined energy of 19 cheetas. I need to find them a gymnastics class, because letting them dive off the couch onto pillows is scaring me. But hey, they aren't crying.

We did gymboree for 2 years but it is not as active as I would like it to be. It is more about pretend play and we pretend enough at home. I called Little gym and they want $550 for the two kids for a 16 week, one weekly class. No thank you.
So today we are going to try My Gym. I hope it is good for them, I need to get them into some kind of class and when you are wearing diapers, there aren't many classes for you.

Baby B has been wearing her mouse costume day & night. I had to peel it from her hands and unzipper the neck so she wouldn't fry in her sleep. Yesterday my Aunt bought them each a scooter, well they have been playing with that non stop. I brought them with me to buy helmets and guess what they have been wearing ever since?
I at least told them they could not wear them to bed, but first thing this morning, helmets are back in place.
I love it.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Why Do I Torture Myself?

I admit to torturing myself every day by watching the View. I love Meredith and Joy, but Star, Barbara and Elisabeth can suck my left one, if you know what I mean.

I am so sick of Elisabeth Hasselbeck and her preaching I could die. She is a strong supporter or the republican party and defends the president any chance she gets, for what it seems, is just for the sake of it. She never listens to any other side. She is a rich, white, female and from what I can tell has never struggled for anything in her life. I wish she would just shut it.
Actually I already emailed her & told her that. I should have mentioned her husband sucks too.

Don't get me started on Star Jones, who staged her engagement at at huge event after she got engaged. Plus her husband is gay. Nobody can convince me otherwise.

I really have to stop watching this crap ridden show, but I guess I am sucked in. I am after all a bored housewife and that is their demographic.
I will not go down without a fight!
Tomorrow I will not watch.
Ok, maybe I will just watch a little.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Only A Matter......

................of Time


We had a huge triumph last night. Baby B urinated in her potty. We were beyond happy. I was ecstatic, I felt like I had just won a million dollars. My reaction surprised me actually and I was taken aback by it. Lets hope this is a trend and Baby A gets on board. I am sick of diapers and the money it cost to acquire them.

I did finally find a bee costume, thank you all for your help. My son will proudly be a bee this year and we are confident he will be the only 2.5 year old bee on the block.

It is still hot here in NJ which is strange. Leaves are falling off the trees and we are still in shorts and T-shirts. It is about 10 degrees warmer then normal here.

My kids will only nap if you lay down with them. So my mornings are spent trying not to fall asleep and trying to get them to think I am sleeping so they sleep. Very Complicated Mom Move, also known as VCMM.

Another VCMM is trying to get veggies enthusiastically but not obviously in attempt to get them to enjoy the veggies as much as you are. My all time favorite VCMM is trying to get two toddlers in car seats and various bags of "stuff" before it downpours and you have to hear "its waining on me, I am getting all wet, Mommy!!" over and over again.

What is your favorite VCMM?

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


Baby A decided after seeing the Hulk costume it was too scary. ( I told you so) So now, he wants to be a bee. The only bee costumes I can find are either for infants or for girls (so sexist!).
Has anyone seen a bee costume that would fit a 3T?
I need help on this one because Halloween is forever away and I am already getting grey hairs about it.

Thanks guys.

Monday, October 03, 2005

It's The Great Hulk, Charlie Brown

Baby A has taken a liking, or should I say obsessiveness of the Hulk. It started with him seeing spiderman sandals at Target and then talking about it all day leading me back to Target (any reason is a great reason to visit Target) to buy him a pair. He didn't take them off for 3 days and 3 nights.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and suddenly he is obsessed with the Hulk and "superheroes" and we have no clue how he heard about them because he doesn't watch TV besides Dora and Diego which do not have "superhero" commercials. Weird.

Now he wants to be the Hulk for Halloween. Despite my best efforts to offer to him various other costumes like a lion! A kangaroo! Buzz Lightyear! Nemo!
It was fruitless.

I know he won't wear a mask and all the hulk costumes have a mask, I doubt he will let me paint his face either. Soooo It looks like I will have to buy him the stupid Hulk costume and he will partially wear it.
I thought I would have at least 4 Halloweens before he started getting picky about clothes & costumes and such.

Sigh, it seems I have raised a tiny metrosexual. At least I can still dress E up in this.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I Miss you

Things I miss since I have become a Mom:

Going to the bathroom alone. This doesn't seem like much of an issue, but it is. Some things are better off alone and I really don't feel like explaining a period to a two year old. That's just wrong.

Having at least 15 minutes to finish a meal. I hate rushing and pounding my food down because I have the two kids who will not sit in their high chairs more then 8 minutes. Not to mention but they are really nice high chairs. AND they recline for a nap after a nice snack. What could be better?!?

Talking on the phone without interruptions.

Not hearing Old Mac Donald or the ABC song 923478328946 times a day.

Getting dressed without someone pointing to my breast and asking "what's dat?" with a disgusted look on her face.

Only having to clean up after myself.

Not having to ever worry about whether or not someone pooped today, or yesterday or in the last week.

and finally

uninterrupted SLEEP

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Today Is A Good Day

Today is a good day because it is my sister's birthday and even more importantly Lost is on tonight! I can't wait, I just love the show and tonight we will find out what happening with the people on the raft. My prediction is they are all ok, except Walt because we don't know where he is.

I got some stuff done today:
called Proflowers and told them my flowers died after 4 days. I will be getting replacement flowers tomorrow. Yippee.
Ordered my Grandmother a gift for her 80th birthday
Bought my 978 case of diapers and wipes

Still to do:
find a gym here with daycare
find a allergist
buy my sister a birthday gift
buy some delicious chocolates from Moonstruck Chocolates because my period is due shortly

Monday, September 26, 2005

What Happened?

Is it me or is Brooke Shields getting uglier? I guess she had work done and it went wrong, because she almost looks like a different person.
Very strange.
Before and after.

Really I cannot think of one person who after having more then one cosmetic surgery done, looks better. They usually look a lot worse. Like Kathy Griffin, Nicolette Sheridan, Lil Kim and Tara Reid.
It makes me not want to get so much as a facial peel.


Thanks to everyone for the great nap advice. I am trying some new things and hopefully one of them will work for us.

My advice to anyone who has a new baby will be, keep them in their cribs as long as you can, it is much easier!

Friday, September 23, 2005


I may or may not have a breakdown very shortly.
My kids refuse to take a nap since they have been in their toddler beds. Well, they have taken 1.5 naps in 8 days. I am pulling my hair out.
I mean not taking a nap is bad enough when they are tired, but for the entire rest of the day they fight, throw tantrums, become unruly and are generally children I would rather not be around.

I am going to have to separate their beds, my daughter is instigating and gets out of her bed and tells her brother to do the same. I would really rather not separate them but it is either that, or I run away.


Thursday, September 22, 2005


Five years ago today I was pacing around my Mother's house, I couldn't eat, I hadn't slept and I was so nervous. I was about to do the most important thing of my life, I was about to marry E.

Five years ago I married my best friend, the man I had been with since I was just a girl, I was only 22 when we started dating. It sounds strange, but after about a month, I knew I would be spending my life with him.

We have had more hard times then I thought we would and we had great times I never dreamed of. We had babies together and moved away from all of our family and friends and did it all on our own. All of it and we are stronger for it.
I am really proud of that.
I am really proud of us.

So to my wonderful, supportive, loving, hard working husband, I love you and I know we have many more great years in the future.
Thank you for who you are, thank you for loving me, thank you for what you give to our family and thank you for making me a better person.

I knew your hands would be the ones holding my babies and I was right. Your strong, sweet, loving hands not only hold my babies, they hold my life and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


I am SO excited about Lost tonight!
My prediction is that the people from the tale end of the plane, at least one of whom survived (Michele Rodriguez) are hiding in the hatch.


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

This is My Space

I am a huge animal lover. I have said before and I will say it again, most of the time I like animals more then people. It is heartbreaking to see the poor animals abandoned and dying in New Orleans and if I could take more, allergies or no allergies I would. My pocketbook tells me no more pets, but if I win the lottery, watch out! I will be the old lady on the street with all the animals.
When I was a teenager I often spent helping PETA protest including one at a furrier in my town. I don't believe in hunting, I think it is terrible and cowardly to "hunt" a deer with a gun, try a bow an arrow for "sport. I don't buy into the argument that if we didn't hunt deer or bear they overpopulated and get killed anyway on the highways. Sure, they are plentiful here in NJ, but maybe the answer is STOP BUILDING MCMANSIONS ON EVERY LITTLE PIECE OF GREEN LAND WE HAVE IN NJ. NJ is crazy with that shit, nothing of my childhood remains they have build on it. Everyone knows you need three Macy's in one town, duh.

I don't wear fur, I occasionally eat meat and I do wear leather shoes ( have you ever tried to walk in snow in canvas shoes?). Am I a hypocrite? Maybe.
But I don't believe in torturing living things for vanity.

I hope you are with me.


My sister-in-law and brother-in-law live in Key Largo. They decided to ride out Rita because after hurricane Andrew everything is small.
Say a small prayer that Rita spares the keys and Texas, please?
After all I think we have all had enough of hurricanes for a lifetime.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Hair, Fans and Allergies

I have terrible allergies, I always have. My allergest once told me not to have carpet, sleep with a down comforter or feather pillows never sleep with the window open and not to have pets. Well I switched to down alternative pillows and comforter and I have carpeting in 50 % of my house and I have two cats and a dog. I know I shouldn't have the carpeting ( have you ever priced wood flooring? Expensive) and the pets but I love them all and I live with the consequences, which are allergies.

I try to sleep with the air on so I don't die of a runny nose and itchy eyes at about 5 am every morning. I have a ceiling fan that works well for us, but I have long hair. What does hair tend to do? Fall out, especially in bed. So every night I feel like their is a spider crawling on my leg or arm but it turns out to be a strand of hair blowing in the wind and it freaks me out every time.
Last night it happened so often that I didn't sleep well and today you can tell.

Maybe I can wear a hair net to bed.

Friday, September 16, 2005

So I saved $40

I was reading Amanda's blog about her find of the perfect maternity pants and how she is searching for some maternity underwear.

it made me think back to when I was pregnant. I never bought maternity underwear. I bought L & XL gap ones on sale for $1.99 and used those, when they didn't fit over my tummy, they were then deemed low riders and I would wear them under my belly. Weren't they ugly looking you may ask, and the answer is, I am sure they were but what do I care at that point I hadn't seen my feet in three months and needed help off the toilet on occasion.
Proper fiting underwear wasn't my first priority.

I still have them stuffed in the back of my drawer and are occasionally used for when I am out of regular period underwear. Is this TMI?
Anyway I wonder if I am strange for not buying maternity underwear, at least a three pack or something.

Women will appreciate this, also I never purchased or read What to Expect When You are Expecting.
I can hear the gasps from here! '
How rebel of me.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Open Letter To My Children

Dearest Babies,

I know you are not babies anymore, but to me you will always be my babies. Dad & I bought you "big boy and big girl" beds, so now you need to use them. We made them comfy for you and we even fit your aquarium at the foot of the bed, so you would have the same comforts as your cribs.
You cannot get out of your crib and empty the toy box onto the floor. I can't keep coming up the stairs every 8 minutes to tell you to get back into your beds and to go to sleep.
Although my fat ass thanks you for the exercise.

I know you are enjoying your freedom but do you know what Mommy enjoys? Sleep. A shower. Free time. Quiet and the occasional meal. Is that really top much to ask? After all I am the one wo was stretched out to Utah, and that still bears the stretch marks you guys made. I carried all 15 lbs 3 oz of you for 39 weeks and various fluids and placentas and stuff.
I stay at home to care for you every day knowing that I could not trust your care to another. I gave up extra monies for massages. Hello? Is that not enough?

Also when you ask if I want to "play my puzzle with me?" I always say yes even though I actually do not, because I have done it 2873 times today alone. I let you watch one too many Dora's & Diego's because you are cute when you guys ask, and you said "ppppeeeze?" which mades my heart leap.

Daddy is going away in a couple of weeks and leaving us alone. Lets not try and kill each other until he returns, ok? Mommy will go get a nice massage and hopefully will feel like a new woman. Perhaps I will even sneak in a facial.
Now that will help!

Love, Mommy

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


Today there were no naps because they are too excited about the freedom of getting out of their bed. That is ok, choose your battles is what keeps repeating in my head.

Today it is finally raining here, after not having any rain in over two weeks. All the lawns are brown and dead despite rescue efforts by me and my hose.

Today I feel drained, like I have nothing left to give. I don't, I don't have the same tolerance level for crying and fighting kids. I don't.

Today I am scared I am not a good mother, a mediocre mother at best. I fear I will fuck my kids up with something I did or didn't do.

Today I am carrying all my stress in my back and neck and it feel like my back is on fire. If I had extra money I would get a 90 minute massage. I love massages but I haven't had one since I was pregnant. I am not earning any money so extras like massages for me are out. Maybe I will get a mani/pedi instead, that will help.

Today I received a coupon for gymboree and I am dying to use it. Gymboree clothes are my downfall as a Mom.

Today I think I will take a nap. I need it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I Need A Drink

Today was toddler bed day.
Today was a bad day.

First we went to three store before I could find toddler beds, then they had to be assembled. Poor E. I was on toddler distraction mode while E put them together and took apart one crib.
My daughter who loved the bed at first, in theory then had a twenty minute fit complete with kicking, screaming and holding her breath.

E sat with them until they fell asleep, which took an hour and a half.
Now I have to pray they stay in their beds through the night.

Lord help us all.

Monday, September 12, 2005

The End Of The World As I Know It

Baby B decided that she can climb out of her crib at night after her brother falls asleep. Then she will try to open her bedroom door and Mom will come rescue her.

Then she will jump on Mom's bed while Dad turns red because all her wants her to do is sleep.

Sleep? SLEEP? Who needs sleep when you can play with your parents at night. Undivided attention! Yay!

Needless to say We are exhausted this morning and will be going out to buy toddler beds this afternoon.

Sunday, September 11, 2005


I remember 9/11/01 so clearly, like many people do. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, not too hot or too chilly. I had just started a new job and it was my seventh day. I worked for a medium sized company located about 10 minutes from NYC. I loved it.

My boss called me and told me from the highway he was stuck on, he could see smoke from NYC, he said he thought a plane accidentally hit a building. Then an announcement came over the building that the World Trade Center had been hit, and that we were all supposed to leave now and go home. I did just that. I was frantically trying to call E's cell because I thought he was in NYC for a meeting. I heard they were closing the borders of NY, there would be no way to get home. The lines were jammed and I couldn't get through for 30 minutes, those were the worst minutes because I thought he had meetings in a hotel right next to the WTC.

In actuality, he was in Yonkers, NY and was able to get home. We both met at the end of our driveway and watched as the buildings burned. That's the thing about NJ, on a clear day you can see far into NYC and obviously, the view was amazing. It was altered that day, and as I left for work every day after that, I would look to my left because out of the corner of my eye something was missing. there was a huge hole in the skyline.

I did lose a friend from high school that was in the buildings, high above where the plane crashed, leaving her no way out.

There was one good thing that happened that day. E & I realized that life was too short, and we decided to have a baby.
Baby A & B came out of that horrible day and the evil people felt for Americans.
They healed me and one day maybe they will heal the world.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Midnight Dreary

I was startled awake, not remembering where I was or what I was doing. Slowly I got my bearings, I was in bed, in my house. Look at the clock, ok it is 3am, why is my heart racing, why am I sweaty? Ok, now it is coming back to me, I had a nightmare, again.
But what was it about? Yes, E was ignoring me, he was distant, I think he was cheating on me.

So I did what any wife would do when she just had a dream that her husband cheated, I elbowed him in the ribs. "What is wrong?!" he whispered forcefully, "you cheated on me" I told him.
He held me tight against him and whispered " I would never do that, it was a bad dream, now go back to sleep." But I couldn't.
I know he wouldn't, he never has but still it worries me.
Not that I think he would, because that is not my worst fear, it is of being alone.

Alone in the world without him.
Then I tuck his arm even tighter around me and try to fall back into a sleep without fear.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


I love looking at what people searched for and ended up at my little blog.
Here are some recent searches:

Semen black light- If I owned one of these I would never sleep in a hotel again, or probably 25% of my friends houses.

girl touching mans pants with hands

vibrating shower scrunchie -I am intrigued by this

sequined sack- did it come that way or did you sequin it yourself?

and lastly, my favorite: Shitting in church

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


I honestly believe Kanye was speaking from his heart and I think it has validity to it. I just love Mike Meyers face like "what the fuck and I supposed to say now? How do I follow that?"

Thursday, September 01, 2005


I really need to stop watching this coverage. I am sickened. I didn't sleep at all last night, I had a dream that I needed to go pick up family from New Orleans and I didn't know how to get down there to save them.

I am so sad thinking about people who just have nothing. Nothing.
I am maddened thinking about how long it seems to get relief in their for the people who have no food or water, babies without medicine. It seems like the Tsunami relief was better orchestrated and they had NO warning. We knew it was coming, and people need supplies now. I hope that come soon.

I will be donating what I can to the relief fund and for the animals. I just wish I could help more.

God, life sucks sometimes doesn't it?

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

It is Funny That Way

This weekend I put my hand through my glass window in my bedroom. It was stupid, really I was just trying to jar it open because it was stuck and wham, there goes my hand.
I left it in the window for what seemed like hours but was probably only a minute, suspended in disbelief of what I had just done.

It is like a lot of things in my past though, as I think back I wonder why I hadn't seen the warning signs, where common sense seemed not to kick in. I made a lot of mistakes in my life, mostly because I was in a hurry to grow up, to be advanced, to become a woman instead of just enjoying being a girl.

If I thought things through more, maybe if I hadn't been so emotional about things, if I had used more reasoning then I wouldn't have made those mistakes. Maybe I wouldn't have banged on the middle of the window, the weakest part just like the heart. I should have taken my time and tried the ease the edges free, the hardest most stable part.

Hopefully though, my life, through all of my mistakes just like my hand that went through a pane of glass, it will come out virtually unscathed.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


Last night I dreamt that my old friend who I haven't spoken to in months didn't want to be my friend anymore. I tried to talk to her but she kept avoiding me. Then I had a dream where two of my bottom teeth were loose and about to fall out.
I was trying to keep them in until I could get to a dentist.

I wonder what this means?

I am friendless and I really should go to the dentist, I am overdue for a checkup.

Lose Weight Fast!

I am an admitted tabloid junky. I love US magazine, In Touch and People, I have subscriptions and I read them every week. I love Friday mail because that is they day they all come to my house and shower me with gossip.
But, I am sick of headlines like "Diets the stars use" "Jessica's slimdown secrets" and "Star diet tips". Great, famous people are skinny, that is a new one.

The worst part is, we would all be skinny if we had cooks, personal trainers and all the money in the world to pay for the $30 a day zone diet. Plus they have movie companies paying them to get into shape or stay that way to make their movie.

So I don't want to hear anymore about Jessica's workout to get from a size 4 to a 2 and how to get her ass into Daisy Dukes. Instead tell me why her Father the former preacher left the ministry to become a manager? Tell me about their incestuous relationship and tell me what they did to fuck up Ashlee so much.
Now that is what I am talking about.

Friday, August 26, 2005

You Know You Are a Mother

You know you are a mother when: you are trying to nap and kids are pushing matchbox cars all over your face and body and it doesn't phase you a bit.
You just keep on napping.

Looong Weekend

E went away camping this weekend, actually he left yesterday. Sooo, that leaves me and the two kids, two cats and a dog for three and a half days. Nothing new, but hard, really hard.
Already I forgot to take out the garbage last night, so now we will be overflowing by next Friday.

E decided to take another job offer that he received. That is big news around here. I think it will be good for him, but it comes with a huge fault.
He will have to go away to training for 3 weeks. I would have to be alone here for three weeks. Did I mention I have 2.5 year old twins?
Did I also mention I live 90 miles from all of my family and friends?

Besides the hard work all by myself and the less sleep I will get and that I would be the sole head of the household, I will just miss E so much. I can cry just thinking about it.
He is my life, my love my everything and I am totally in love with him, for me not to see him every day is tough.
Just these next three days suck.

I tell ya, it is hard to be a wife and Mom.
Someone should have told how hard it really is.

So. Who wants to visit NJ for three weeks?

Monday, August 22, 2005


Wow, I feel old.
Clarissa, Punky and Blossom are all pregnant!

Please God please tell me Rudy is still a virgin!


Sorry I have been MIA for the last few days, I have had a myriad of problems all of which sucked.
My cable went out, then my router broke, my new router was not compatible with AOL and I had to speak to at least 7 different people at two different companies to fix the problem.
On top of that E's car broke down and he needs a new air conditioner or compressor or something. Unfortunately this is not an easy/cheap fix and he is pissed. I am not too thrilled either.

Anyway, Six Feet Under finale was great I thought. I really liked how they tied up all the lose ends but not in a cutesy predictable way.
My favorite part was when Nate was showing his new daughter to his father and as he handed the baby back to Brenda he told her how much he loved the baby and always will.

I like to think my Father watches over my babies as they sleep in their crib at night, loving them as only he could.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

How Very 00s of you.

It seems like the 1980s has regurgitated back into the 2000. I see snapshots of my childhood everywhere: Strawberry Shortcake, pop rocks, Care bear stuffed animals, School House Rock DVD's (which I own)Hello Kitty lunch boxes and even Fraggle Rock on dvd (this I HAVE to get). I can buy my daughter the pretty ponies I played with and I can tell her about the big fights parents would have in order to purchase a cabbage patch kid.
I know E is waiting for the day he can buy Baby A a GI Joe, his favorite boyhood toy.
It is nice to see your friends, the things that made up your day sitting on a shelf in Target. I guess it makes me feel safe.
That maybe, no matter what shitty things are going on in the world that I still have good memories and I can make new great ones with my kids.

Although it is not exactly the same, it doesn't have the same smell or it is cheaply made now. Just to remind you that you cannot go home again, you can only get to the next town over.

Now if I can only find out if they still sell whistle pops and life savers swirled lollipops!
What do you miss from your childhood, that you can't find anymore?

Seriously, 5 Weeks Vacation?

So the camp may move closer to Bush's ranch where he takes more vacations then Beyonce and Jay-Z. What can I say, good for them. I cannot imagine losing a child, nevermind in a war in which I believe is wrong. It is terribly sad and I really do think Bush should speak with her, I think it is the least he can do.
Actually that is all I am going to say on this topic because otherwise I will be ranting for days.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Hair I am

My hair is falling out again, which is obviously not good.
My hair fell out so much after I had the babies, I thought I was in the clear because I thought your hair would fall out immediately after you give birth. Well, not immediately but soon after.
Three and a half months later I find huge clumps of hair every I go. E was sickened by it, he hates to find long hairs on the kitchen floor, bed, shower, bathroom etc, understandably so.

If my hair wasn't as thick as it is, I would have been bald I think, that is how bad it got. I actually did have a receding hairline.
The bald look works well on men, especially if they shave their head but it would not be a good look for me. I don't do scarves.

My hair has started to fall out again though, which I am chalking up to stress.
It is still unnerving pulling out long hairs from between my butt cheeks. At least I finally realized that I didn't eat and digest and poop those hairs they just got caught going down my back.

Monday, August 15, 2005


I am too disgruntled to post a nice post today. Instead I will just bitch and moan. Today I will bitch about:
the fucking cost of gas. Holy crap, it is out of control. I know NJ is lower then most other states but seriously $2.63 a gallon for regular should be illegal. I remember when right after 9/11 I asked the attendant for $10 regular and I got change back because the cost of gas was $.99! I till get worse before it gets better I am sure but it sure seems real bad now.

I dropped batter on the bottom of my oven the other day & forgot about it until I made dinner tonight and smoke filled up my kitchen. Now the entire first floor of my house smells like burnt popcorn. It is not a good thing.

It was so hot on Saturday that I saw two people pass out in front of me. Animal planet was at a park near out house and they had a whole awesome "experience". Too bad we were there for about an hour and had to leave. The park is full sun, and the heat index was 106 degrees. It was horrible.
On the plus side we got to meet Jeff Corwin and had him autograph a book for us.

Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow and I will have a loving, fun filled post.

Friday, August 12, 2005


The Bikini Touch Trimmer

Now normally I am a waxing kind of girl but money is tight peeps, and where I will wax my own legs I cannot force my hand to intentionally cause myself the pain that is a bikini wax. Just cannot do it.
I came across this magically little product. I assumed it didn't work and was not about to pay $10 plus, I assume, a huge S&H for it. This week on my travels I stumbled across it at Linen's N Things for $5.99. Nice!

I bought it and used it for this review. I love it.
Not it is really only good for your bikini line, not for the whole thing, so take that as you will. It is for the days where someone invites you over for a pool party and you put on your bathing suit and you notice little friends peeking at you from the edges of your bathing suit bottom.
Unwelcome friends.
It is an easy, quick, fun tool that I will use again. It does not hurt at all, which is one of the things I was afraid of.
I do not like pain. Or hair.

I do not think it is the best thing for my darker, hairier friends, you know who you are, if you have fair hair like myself it is a great tool.

Was this review helpful to you?
Anything else you would like me to review?

Thursday, August 11, 2005

New Feature!

There will be a new feature here on this blog, it is called Tuesday's Reviews.
I am going to review items that you think you want, but are not sure about buying it, you would like someone to buy it first and review it for you.
I hear you.

Tomorrow I will be reviewing the bikini touch trimmer . You know you are curious about it, I know how you linger on the infomercial just a tad too long. Wondering if it works, wondering where you can get it cheaper.
I know you because........I am you.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I Hate Titles

Since it has been such a long hot summer I have been watching more then my usual amounts of television. I love to TiVo mindless MTV shows and watch them in the morning when my kids are in for their nap, when really I should be doing 38 other things.

Shows like Laguna Beach, Brat Camp, Hooking Up, Real World and Big Brother. I stumbled upon a new show last week that I knew was stupid but I caught a glimpse while I was changing the channel and well, I got hooked. I think it is called Girls Next Door and it is about girls who live in the playboy mansion and are Heff's girlfriends.
Yes, plural.

Anywhoo, it is fascinating. The girls each have their own room except for the "head gf" who shares a room with Heff. Their is this whole hierarchy thing going on there and you can tell that the head gf is very jealous of the other girls. She doesn't like them stealing Heff's money, I mean time. They have a full time waitstaff and when they want something they just call down to the kitchen & order it, even their dog's food.
Plus Heff will go out to eat with the girls but travels with his own meals, like raw lamb, and has the chef at whatever restaurant it is prepare it for him as per the food instructions that come with the raw food.
Can you say weirdo?
Anyway to me it is fascinating, I love seeing how other people live, especially blond sticks that have to sleep with an old man for room & board.

Which shows do you like this summer?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Story Time

This morning we had story time at out Pottery Barn Kids. We go every Tuesday morning for the 40 minutes or so and read books and sing songs. I sit on the floor and Baby A sits on my lap and Baby B is much more social and sits with the group of children at the feet of the reader.
Every week it happens and every week I do it again. My foot or feet fall asleep. I re-adjust Baby A numerous times and change my position, but it always happens.
Today it was bad. Today it was my whole leg. So at the end of all the stories and songs, there I am limping because I cannot feel any part of my right leg, out the door with two kids. It felt so strange and I know I must have looked like a dork.
No wonder I can't make friends. Maybe that and the fact that I think I wear the same thing every Tuesday.

Other then that nothing exciting. It is rainy here but still humid. My kids are not into the potty at all, so I have given up all hope. I thought the lure of M&Ms would do it since they have only had them twice and loooooved them, but it was a failed mission.

Who watches Six Feet Under? What an episode on Sunday! I cried for I think 60 minutes total without stopping once. My eyes were puffy the next day. I think it was a brilliant episode, done just right. I am sorry to see the show go, it is a really good one.
I guess all the good ones do die young.

Monday, August 08, 2005

The Soundtrack of My Life

My twins are 2. 5 years old and for the past 8 months or so they have been consumed with everything Dora the Explorer. They love her, her toys, her clothes, her sheets, and especially her show. They get to watch it every day and I think it is a cute show, fairly educational and fun.
If you have not had the pleasure of watching the Dora show they try to find a person, place or thing with the help of the viewers and a bunch of praising songs.

I got to thinking that maybe I should have songs for myself so when I finish a chore I can feel fully accomplished when my theme song was playing. It would go something like this:

I woke up this morning and I did 192 things before 8am
I did it, I did it, I did it, yeah!
Today I took a shower without kids crying
I did it, I did it, I did it, yeah!
I managed to not kill anyone today!
I did it!!!!!!!!!

I am going to put in a call into David Foster about this one. Or should I call nickelodeon?
I think I have something here.

Friday, August 05, 2005


I just read a statistic that floored me, 1 in 6 boys will be sexually molested by the time he is 18.
1 in 6!
Is your jaw hitting the floor yet?
This is totally unacceptable, but I feel like we are helpless against it. What can we do as Mothers, as parents to remedy this situation?
E and I talk about it often and it is one of my worst fears, I assume every parent's worst fear. I joke that my kids will not be allowed out of my sight until they are in college, but it is partly true. I doubt I will let them sleep over just anyone's house, or even go over after school. I doubt I will allow my kids to play with anyone without meeting and feeling comfortable about their parents, which will not be a small task.
Maybe people with children older then mine can help me out on this, do you interview the parents before you let your kids play at a friend's house? Do you question whether they have a gun in the house, if a relative is visiting that you do not know, if their are convicted sexual preditors in their neighborhood?

With all the interviews and watching my kids I know I will never fully be able to protect them, because they will not be by my side every second of the day, and that is what worries me.

What can we do as women, Mothers? We are raising these preditors, wife beaters and rapists, we defend them, we look the other way.
I will not.
What is it that makes it so prevelent these days, why do we have men snatching little girls out of their bedrooms at night, why are our teachers raping our sons?

I am truly scared. I have no answers. I vow not to let my son be the problem but maybe, just maybe, the answer.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I am Melting

It is just too damn hot today. I know I have been complaining about the weather and well, it is summer, but I think since I have had the babies that I feel extra hot or cold. Extreme weather is what I call it.

Anyway I am going swimming today, it is just too hot to do anything else. The babies and I are so tired of just sitting in the boring house.

I will post more later.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


I have a confession to make: I could give less then a shit about the space shuttle, or astronauts fixing something in space with a screwdriver or even if we ever go to space again.

I have no interest in it at all. I think it is a big waste of money and I really need to get back to my regular programming on Good Morning America.
I could very well be wrong about it, but it is how I feel.

I would rather hear about Nick & Jessica breaking up.

I mean I would be interested if they did cool things in space, like have sex. Or see if you can paint your nails up there. Or even if you can have an outer space orgasm.

Now that is good television.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

It is a Virtue

Sometimes man, I just feel like I don't have enough patience to have kids. I really don't and that is a hard thing for me to admit to.
I strive to be an uber-Mom and I would love to think of myself as one, but the truth is, there is no such thing.

My new mantra: I am not an :ubermom" because there is no such thing.

Other Moms make it out like there is such a thing though and that they are an the pinnacle of their careers as the UM. Why can' we all just be real and say "listen it sucks some times, huh? It is hard, maybe we can help each other out" instead we just judge each other.
it is true, I am guilty of it and so are you. Lets be real.
We think that the other Mom lets her kids watch waaaay to many tv shows or that they are deprived because they never get junk food.

My kids are not superior to yours* because mine could jump first or knew how to count to 10 first. They all start out as a blank canvas, I may use red and blues to paint mine and you may only use purple, but in the end they are our children and they all are masterpieces.

* My kids really are better then yours.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Six Feet

How great is Six feet under this season? I love it.
Ahh Nate is dead!


Stolen from True Jersey Girl:

What I was doing 10 years ago: Just started the job where I would meet E, I was still living at home and hanging out with the same friends I have now.

5 years ago: I had jsut hjad my bridal shower and was getting ready to get married. E & I were living together in the cutest house in northern Jersey surrounded by 40 acres of woods.

Yesterday:Went to the grocery store, and the farmers market. It was a very boring, casual Sunday.

5 snacks I enjoy:
peanut M&Ms
cookie dough
Butter cookies that come in that round tin

5 songs I know all of the words to:
Black by Pearl Jam
Every Christmas song
Open Arms by Journey
Annie's song by John Denver
Beautiful Girl By INXS

5 things I would do with $100 million:
Buy a new house
Buy my mom & sister a new house
Open up a no kill animal shelter here and in St. Lucia
purchase myself a Mercedes 500sl convertable

5 locations I would like to run away to:
St. Lucia

5 things I like doing:
driving fast on an open road

5 bad habits I have:
watching too much TV
not excercising enough
being stubborn
opinionated (who me?!)

5 things I would never wear:
a bra as a top
leather chaps
a fanny pack
anything dayglo

5 TV shows I like:
Sex and the City
Arrested Development

5 biggest joys of the moment:
My kids!
my house
my kids
my husband
my kids

5 favorite toys:
my camera
new pots and pans
my computer
Playstation 2

Friday, July 29, 2005

Life....Or Something Like It

I am SO sick of changing poops it is unbelievable. I just changed a nasty one this morning where even my son exclaimed "Its disgusting!".
I was all "no shit!" (literally haha)

The babies really have no interest in potty training, so I am trying not to push them, but I really wanted to do this in the summer. I bought the panties, I have the potties, I even regaled them with stories of a big trip to Toys R Us where they can get anything they want but, no interest.

Diapers are expensive, man.

In other news, there is no news. Life has been fairly boring around here which is both good and bad.

I guess I should go practice my vagina tricks.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Situation: Crisis

I am a good Mom, I know I am but when it comes to crisis, I know how much I will suck at being a Mom. I have no idea how I will clean up a child's puke without writhing on the floor, crying and puking myself. If there is massive amounts of blood anywhere, I will be found laying on the ground, passed out. If there is ever a bone protruding out of skin, I will just die.

But today I passed my first motherhood crisis test: A foreign object up the nose.
Baby B decided at lunch today to stick a dried cranberry waaaaaay the fuck up her nose. I tried to get it out with tweezers to no avail, coaxed her to blow out and even put black pepper under her nose so she could sneeze the sucker out.
No good.

We went to the doctors office and an alligator tweezers, a great doctor and 20 minutes later we were cranberry free in all of our orifice's.
Wait until the insurance gets that $90 bill for a cranberry extraction.


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Weather People Stink

What I love about living in NJ is also what I hate: the weather. I love that we have four seasons and I could never live anywhere that was hot all year long, or cold. I have a short weather attention span and if the weather doesn't change every 3-4 months I will wither up and die.

That being said, I hate the extreme heat and cold, for reasons other then the obvious, it is because of the weather people*. When a snow storm is coming or when it gets to be about 90 degrees, the weather people go buck wild. Suddenly it is breaking news. "It's HOT!" "Be careful, the SUN is out and you may get hot." "If you do not have air conditioning, please go somewhere that is, like a mall."

Thanks for all of the advice. I think that I know how to get cool, I know to wear light clothing and I know to drink water. Does anyone not know this? Then they target older people, like they in all of their 80 years have never felt hot, or know what to do about it.

When it is going to snow the weather people all gather on main street and tell you it is snowing, as if you don't have windows. Then they tell you to drive carefully, because people are not aware. Then they tell you we will get 19 inches of snow and you get all psyched to not be able to go to work the next day, but in reality you only get 2. Bastards!

Not to mention the people who run out and cause traffic (driving slower then an old man easing out of a warm bath) and lines because they must get Bread! And Milk!.

Not to mention that almost all weather people are smug and annoying and almost always wrong. It is the only job you can get consistently wrong and never get fired for it.

Well, that and the President.

* With the exception of Sam Champion because he is hot. He can check my temperature any day. Woo woo.

Monday, July 25, 2005


Yesterday we went to the beach with the kids. We live about 40 minutes away from a beach that I spent my childhood summers at. It is strange being there as an adult and having my own kids there, I still feel like I am 12 as I drive down the main street and look at what has changed and the few things that are the same. It plays like a movie in my head, flashes of memories, the movie of my life.

Anyway the beach was great, the most crowded I have ever seen it though. The babies had a great time, but this year they will not go near the ocean. They wouldn't in Florida either, but last year they couldn't get enough of it. I guess it is scary, so we just hung out on the dry sand and played. Next time we go to the beach I have to bring another person, because going into the water by yourself because your spouse has to watch the kids is boring.

Now are are hunkered down in the house because the next two days here are going to be "excessively hot" with the heat index peaking tomorrow at 110 degrees.

Help me I am melting.

Friday, July 22, 2005

All I Ever Wanted

Seems like everyone is on vacation this week. All my blogger friends.
E and I wanted to go away for our fifth anniversary in September, which we have planned to do since we returned from our honeymoon, but financially we cannot afford it.

Whatever, there are worse things in the world. I am going to focus on the positive.
The positive for this weekend is that I am in full alcohol supply. That means the capt'n and I will be mingling with a bit of pineapple juice and calling it a night. Before we will call it a night we will watch Being Bobby Brown on tivo and love every minute of the trainwreck that is his life.

Ahh Fridays..............

Thursday, July 21, 2005


I am in love with the fact that I am not the only panty hider, there are many of you that slip those undergarments into a pants pocket or between folds of your tops. I for one, will stop hiding my underwear immediately and lay it loud and proud on top of my clothes.
I am proud to wear undergarments and I want the entire office to know about it!

Pink Lady said they should offer waxing in the office in addition to a nice pap. I agree!
Why stop there though? Why not pedicures? How about a doctor who can teach us great vagina tricks, that would be great. I would love to do tricks with my vagina for long car rides or boring parties. Why not a tour for men who have no idea how a women's body works and thinks his two pumps will satisfy his girl? Maybe a vaginal laser light show!

Then everyone would have a good time at the OBGYN. Life is supposed to be fun, right? For the doctor as well as the poor soul spread eagle on the table, panties all hidden.
I am going to try to make it more fun for my doctor.

As a matter of fact I think I will practice paying my co-pay with my vagina.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


I have to go to the gynecologist, and lets just say it is not my favorite place to visit in the world. I hate the waiting, the waiting again in the little cold room with no magazines. I hate that they give you false hope by calling you into that little room, separating you from your only form of entertainment in the doctor's office: people watching.

Then they make you strip down and put on the, easily ripped, blue robe of death. I pile all my clothes neatly on the chair being very careful to hide my underwear and bar under my clothes. Why do I do this? Do I think the doctor would be shocked to find out I wear underwear? Has the doctor not seen panties before? So I second guess myself but I still play hide the panties with myself.

Then I just sit and wait, all the while the stirrups are mocking me. "You are going to be spread eagle for all the world to see in just awhile" "your breast are going to be fondled by a woman who will not be buying you a drink first" and my favorite mock " you obviously waxed just for this appointment and the doctor knows it".

Ahhh, I dread it, I really do.
I dread any activity when someone tells me "ok, now scoot down a little more........A little more>.."

Monday, July 18, 2005


Yesterday we went to my friends house for a BBQ. It was a great time except for the weather. It was SO humid that just sitting down you were dripping with sweat. It was so humid that 12 hours after I took a shower my hair was still damp.

The babies are so pooped from yesterdays festivities that they are taking a 3 hour nap for me now. Bonus Mom time!
I think we will be stuck in the house the next two days because it is so hot & humid here, we all might melt.
Thank god for central air conditioning and who ever invented it. I also want to thank the good lord above for blueberries, "favorite" T shirts from the gap, iced tea, flip flops, peonies, four seasons, bonus Mom time, new baby smell, gardenias and drawstring pants.

Did I forget anything?

Friday, July 15, 2005

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The good: guys were checking me out the other day, blatantly which is the way I like it

The bad: Perhaps they were checking both my friend and I out, but recollection is a funny thing and I omit things as I see fit. That is how I roll.

The ugly: E keeps pinching my shoulder and saying "you've been pimped" which is why I should put a parental lock on MTV, MTV2 or any other channel owned by Viacom.
Also E is now without any facial hair because whilst trimming his goatee he trimmed a tad too much and had a slight Hitler, which by any account is not good.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Home Sweet Home

I miss my hometown.
I love my town and all that it has to offer. I love my neighbors and all the stores that are so close to me. I love my house, my yard and much less traffic. But somehow even though I have much more then I could ever afford in North Jersey, even though I love it here, I dream of being home. All because that is where my entire family is.

My entire family lives in one county, where I could not buy a 50 year old, 3 bedroom ranch house with no upgrades for less then $350k. I could do that, but it would be a tradeoff. A smaller house with less room for STUFF, less yard, less room for the kids to play, less room for toys, for having a close family.
Or we can stay here and travel 1.5 hours to visit family and all of our friends. It is hard. We made the decision to stay here for our kids who deserve more then we could have afforded there. E does not want to move home but would do it for me, for my happiness. I don't want him to be unhappy but whose happiness is more important?

We will see what will happen in the future, but its hard being away from my Mom, my sister and all of my family.
I miss them.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Confession #3

This is my postsecret.

Sometimes I go shopping and find something to wear that I love. The only problem is that it runs small so I have to get a bigger size or 2 bigger sizes. (First of all a medium, or a small should be universal not the more expensive the garment the smaller the cut! Bitches!)
If I feel like I am buying too big of a size when I check out I ask for a gift receipt, so the salesperson doesn't think I am fat.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Hot Hot Hot

I am planning on hibernating today because it is going to be 96 here today and that kind of
heat + me= enemies. The babies never seem to drink enough when we are outside either which make me nervous they are dehydrating. Then I picture myself rushing them to the emergency room because they haven't had a wet diaper in 5 hours and that kind of stress I do not need.

This week we have all kids of things planned, story time at Pottery barn kids, swimming, a trip to my Aunts house and a BBQ at my friends house. Summer fun finally!

On a side bar, you know what else pisses me off about South Jersey as opposed to north Jersey? No Italian ice. They have water ice, which obviously is as redundant as it is strange. Hello, I need a good Italian ice not slush with a tiny bit of flavor. Even the ice cream man doesn't have ices. Very sad.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Blah Blah Blah

Yesterday I took my kids to go see my sister and her kids. My oldest nephew was in school for most of the time we were there, but I was happy to see him get off the bus. He rides a bus now to school, and he thinks it is the greatest thing. I guess it is for a 4 soon to be 5 year old.

I had plenty of time with my new nephew and I could not stop kissing him. He is very squiggily and chubby and kissable. It gave me baby fever.
I have an announcement internet: I think it is time to start trying to have another baby!

The twins are 2.5 now and I don't want to have another child too far apart from them. My sister and I were 3.5 years apart and it was great. We would be in the same schools, but had our own friends.
It is a scary prospect, and slightly bittersweet because I loved being pregnant and another baby will most likely be my last. So I am nervous, tentative, excited and anxious!

So that is it, I guess E & I will be having some fun this weekend. : wink: