Thursday, July 14, 2005

Home Sweet Home

I miss my hometown.
I love my town and all that it has to offer. I love my neighbors and all the stores that are so close to me. I love my house, my yard and much less traffic. But somehow even though I have much more then I could ever afford in North Jersey, even though I love it here, I dream of being home. All because that is where my entire family is.

My entire family lives in one county, where I could not buy a 50 year old, 3 bedroom ranch house with no upgrades for less then $350k. I could do that, but it would be a tradeoff. A smaller house with less room for STUFF, less yard, less room for the kids to play, less room for toys, for having a close family.
Or we can stay here and travel 1.5 hours to visit family and all of our friends. It is hard. We made the decision to stay here for our kids who deserve more then we could have afforded there. E does not want to move home but would do it for me, for my happiness. I don't want him to be unhappy but whose happiness is more important?

We will see what will happen in the future, but its hard being away from my Mom, my sister and all of my family.
I miss them.


  1. I live in North Jersey - we just happened to luck out. We paid $227k for our house 5 years ago, right as the market started to boom - now it would go for at least $500k. Its totally insane. PLUS - our taxes are nearly $10k a year! But, all in all, I am happy to live up here, because like you said, its home.

  2. Anonymous8:00 PM

    Hmmm...I don't know. Family vs. stuff. I think I'd choose family.

  3. it's a tough call, Tuesday. Another very important consideration you didn't mention is the quality of the schools and, for that matter, the quality of the community you're living in. I mean, you may be closer to family up in North Jersey, but there could be much higher crime and poorer schools, too. All these factors have to be weighed.

    And how portable is E's job? What kidn of a commute does he have now, versus what would it be like if he relocated, etc.? could it be possible that a move to North Jersey could be coupled with a job change - and possibly a cut in pay?

    All these factors have to be considered. And I'm sure you're aware that money problems create stress and tension in the household, right? So would it be possible that a move to North Jersey could result in (a) a smaller house = everyone more crammed together, (b) more financial stress (or distress), (c) poorer schools, (d) higher crime, but also (e) closer to family?

    Again, all the factors have to be weighed. Moving is stressful. A job change is stressful. Alternatively, a longer commute (if E doesn't change jobs) would also mean added stress. Sometimes, when things get tough, people look for the geographical cure... a move... hoping things will be better after the move. And we can have a myriad of ways to convince ourselves this is exactly what we need to do. Just be certain of your motives... there may be good reasons to want to be closer to family. But if life is just too stressful - if things are just a little too tight - where you're at... would they really be any better if you moved up North?

    Now, I'm not saying anything more than to think it through carefully. There may be some very good reasons to want to move, but nothing happens in a vacuum and if you gain some advantages by moving, just make sure you can identify what you will be giving up as well. I know from experience the grass often looks greener elsewhere, but I always brought myself with me wherever I went.

  4. Thanks guys! It is a really hard call.


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