Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Weather People Stink

What I love about living in NJ is also what I hate: the weather. I love that we have four seasons and I could never live anywhere that was hot all year long, or cold. I have a short weather attention span and if the weather doesn't change every 3-4 months I will wither up and die.

That being said, I hate the extreme heat and cold, for reasons other then the obvious, it is because of the weather people*. When a snow storm is coming or when it gets to be about 90 degrees, the weather people go buck wild. Suddenly it is breaking news. "It's HOT!" "Be careful, the SUN is out and you may get hot." "If you do not have air conditioning, please go somewhere that is, like a mall."

Thanks for all of the advice. I think that I know how to get cool, I know to wear light clothing and I know to drink water. Does anyone not know this? Then they target older people, like they in all of their 80 years have never felt hot, or know what to do about it.

When it is going to snow the weather people all gather on main street and tell you it is snowing, as if you don't have windows. Then they tell you to drive carefully, because people are not aware. Then they tell you we will get 19 inches of snow and you get all psyched to not be able to go to work the next day, but in reality you only get 2. Bastards!

Not to mention the people who run out and cause traffic (driving slower then an old man easing out of a warm bath) and lines because they must get Bread! And Milk!.

Not to mention that almost all weather people are smug and annoying and almost always wrong. It is the only job you can get consistently wrong and never get fired for it.

Well, that and the President.

* With the exception of Sam Champion because he is hot. He can check my temperature any day. Woo woo.


  1. Did you see that Sam Champion was filling in on CNN for Larry King the other night? Is he making his foray into real news?

    ~singing~ "He is Sam Champion, my friend" ~end singing~

  2. Its men like Sam Champion that help men like me with women. As beautiful as he is, you lack the equipment that Sam covets. Sorry, he is spoken for in a manly way. And yes, Lidia is a sweetheart. Little known fact, her son, the bald wine guzzler, is my friend Mario Batali's partner in every restaurant he owns. So indirectly, Lidia is the true "GODMOTHER" of Italian food in NYC. I will kiss her ring one day.

  3. Allen, sadly I am aware that he is gay, a girl can dream though.
    I didn't not know that about Lidia's son, he seems clueless in every respect besides wine.
    I also didn't know that mario is your friend.
    Wow, you must be eating well.

  4. I discovered your blog last night and have to admit I stayed up for a couple of hours reading your archives. I have to say your blog is going to be one of my top five favorites.
    Your new reader :)

  5. You forgot the other staple in addition to bread and milk.....PEANUT BUTTER. What do these people think? "Hmmm,we're in for a blizzrd. Let's eat peanut butter sandwiches and milk all week." No jelly? Fluff?
    Why don't they run out for pasta and chicken? Stupid people.
    I don't wanna eat dry peanut butter sandwiches!!


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