Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving * Now With More Giveaways!

The fact that I am not blogging every day about how my in-laws are here and they are slowly killing me shows major personal growth.
Oh, that and the fact that they are staying with my sister-in-law. Seriously, them not being here 24/7 with my father in law in his shorty-short robe in the morning all lunging and sitting with his legs open and the Today Show blasting because he REFUSES TO WEAR HIS HEARING AID BECAUSE HE THINKS IT IS FOR RETARDED OLD PEOPLE is a help.
Newsflash: you are old. The retarded thing? I will leave that open for discussion.

Believe me it is a sight I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving filled with yummy desserts and gravy.
It is my favorite meal of the year. Eat and extra helping of pie for me and my thighs.

Because I love you I also have two great giveaways going on:

A very cool rice krispie treat making kit and tray and a portable activity center for babies which is super cool and makes a great gift!
Go over and commnt on my other blogs to win.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Boy With The Blueberry Eyes

My baby,

How did you get to be eight months old? When did that happen?
You should not be the youngest child, you should have been the first. With your easy personality, your sweet smile and great temperament you should have been the first, who wouldn't want another baby if this is how they are like!
You love attention, you love to be held and if you are in your walker or jumpy seat and see me walk by you cry for me. So I scamper around you and turn the corners hugging the wall so you won't spy me and I can have my coffee in peace.

You love your sister and brother and they adore you. They never have been jealous or filled with anything other then love for you. You love watching their every move.
You love being outside, and are content to sit in your stroller for hours as long as we are outside.
You are an early teether like R & L. You already have seven teeth! You roll over, get up on your hands and knees and rock, sit up by yourself and army crawl to anything you want. And you my son, want it all.

You have tricks! You put your hands over your head when we ask how big you are, you shake your head no when we ask you if you want to go night night and yesterday you started clapping your hands when we ask you to! Of course I take most of the credit for your strength and intelligence, after all it was all the spinach and swedish fish I ate while you were in utero.

I love you. I love you so much that when I have been parenting alone for days at a time and you wake me in the night for the 3rd time, I am not mad, I am happy to see you again.
That is personal growth right there.

You are so handsome, a perfect baby if I do say so myself. You have hair! I didn't know I could grow babies with hair. Your brother and sister were bald until they were two. Your eyes are so clear blue the color of icicles at twilight. You are tall and heavy, heavy enough that I can't hold you without a sling or carrier for long periods.

I know rationally that you are my last baby, but I can't seem to bring myself to really know that. Your bassinet is not packed up yet, your infant clothes are all still in the closet. I cant think about packing them up for good. I can't yet say goodbye to that chapter in my life.

I adore you and can't wait to see the person you will become.

Friday, November 21, 2008

No Whammy, Baby!

Every person needs a mental health day once in awhile and I think that goes for kids too. I know my Mom looked the other way a couple of times when I wanted to stay home from school. Sometimes you just can't get out of bed, ya know?
The best part of a faux sick day or a holiday off from school is daytime TV.
Little House on the Prairie, I Love Lucy and The People's Court.
The best daytime TV?
Game shows!

Press Your Luck, Pictionary, Card Sharks and Match Game. I loved all the old hosts (and their hair) who made hosting a career. Beautiful woman, hosts shamelessly kissing female guests, cabled microphones and inevitably a good prize (cash!) and some bad ones too (I am looking at you Price is Right!) including but not limited to:
Hot tub, jet ski, snowmobile, a chandelier and any floor coverings.

Being a stay at home mom the thrill just isn't there to watch daytime TV, I guess it is the taste of it, the wiff of contestant desperation if you will, that kept me coming back for more. Now that I can have it anytime I want, I don't want it.
I like the forbidden.
And faking the sick days.

What were your favorite daytime television shows when you were a kid?

This post brought to you by Parent Bloggers and Olie Bollen where you can win a fabu arm chair holiday shopping spree just like the ones you see on TV!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Here Comes The Sun.....

Things that make me happy today:

Someone found my blog by searching: "old mom porn" (the best) and "Big New Jersey hair" (My favorite).

L told me his class plays "thumbs up 7up". I remember playing this in elementary school. You put your head down on your desk and your thumb up, if your thumb gets pressed down then you have to guess who did it. Some kids would be asses and slam your thumb down and that would hurt and other kids would try and cheat by looking at your shoes. There were dicks even in 5th grade.
Still, I loved that game.

I actually got out of the house yesterday even though it was freezing. Why, sweet lord, can't I find a winter hat for baby K that doesn't look like a jester, or is thin or is his size? Oh and Babies R Us, you are on my shit list since you wouldn't let me return something without my receipt. EVERYONE returns without a receipt there, because that ratio of baby gifts you get versus what you need is so very off.

I get to observe the kids kindergarten class for 45 minutes today. It stinks that I have to split my 45 minutes (couldn't they have made it a even 1 hour?) but I am excited to see them with the friends. My neighbor is watching K for me and I hope he is good for her since she is bringing her 13 month old granddaughter with her.

The sun is out. Don't you always feel better when the sun is shining? I could never live in Seattle, the sun is much to important to my mental health.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

I have been having a hard time writing these days. My creative juices are just not flowing. I feel myself spiraling into a depression phase.
I never thought it would take this long to sell our house. I know it is a tough time to sell anything but our house is sweet! all new appliances! great schools and close to shopping and restaurants!

Being without E for this long has taken his toll on me. He is my ying, he calms me down and talks me off the ledges I perched myself on from time to time. He is my co-parent.
I can tell I am getting depressed because I just realized I don't know when the last time I left the house with the kids. I will bunker myself in my home. After my father died there would be weeks that went by when I didn't leave the house.
After all, I have no reason to leave, I have no friends here. No one to hold me accountable. It seems like so much trouble to leave the house, the effort seems just too much.

You know it is bad because I am looking forward to my in-laws coming this Friday AND I wish they were staying with us so they can wake up with the baby in the night.
Someone send help, I must be delirious.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I Love My Visitors

I have been getting some interesting searches ending up at my blog. I can't complain, I love visitors no matter how they get here. I thought I would share though, everyone deserves a laugh on a Monday.

if it is the 16 November how many days until christmas- Can you yourself not do this simple math? Do you not remember the days of the month song from elementary school? Also, do you not own a calendar? This is most troublesome.

girl banana- I am always trying to find out what the difference between a girl banana and a boy banana. They both taste the same to me.

i am a girl and i love porn- Join the club. What do you want, a metal?

massage my boobs games - Here is how you play, massage my boobs and then my back, legs, arms, feet and hands. Give me a hairgasm. Now I will sleep. Game over- you won.

the child arrived the other day- Luuuucky. My child has been back ordered and I am not sure when it will arrive. I hope before Christmas!

The people who are searching the Internets with these search terms deserve the quality blog that I put out here.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


I am really excited about Blogher next year. I wish it was on the east coast, but I have never been to Chicago, so I will chalk that up to "cities I want to see before I die".
E promised me this year that I could go in 09 and he will be available to take care of the kids. I think I will take him up on that offer and up him a spa treatment or two and various nights out drinking.

I am going to scour the streets looking for Oprah, eat a roast beef dipped sandwich I saw on Food Network once and see if the city is indeed windy.

I picture BlogHer as a whole bunch of woman running around from room to room in their underwear with bottles of champagne flowing, bubble baths, everyone sharing chocolate and endless reruns of Housewives of Ocean County on TV. Or maybe I have been watching too much soft core porn.
In any event, I will be there with bells on and I want a kick ass roommate.
Tell me, are you planning on going?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

When You Gotta Go....You Gotta Go

Of all the things that I feared taking my three kids on a 5.5+ hour car trip, one was foremost on my mind: how will I go to the bathroom with three kids?
E took the stroller up before us to make room in my car for all the other junk I had to bring. I was going to carry the baby into a restaurant to use the bathroom and to eat. I could have put the baby in a sling, but how could I go to the bathroom with a baby in a sling or carrier?

Now before I go any further with this story I need to remind you that I am germ phobic. I NEVER use a public bathroom, only in an emergency. This trip I was lucky enough to have my period.
Now how the hell will I change my pad/tampon with the three kids in one stall and again, what am I going to do with the baby?
I decided to let R hold the baby, she is strong she carries her twin brother on her back, the baby is heavy but I can be swift!

There we go in the handicapped stall of Cracker Barrel in Connecticut. L goes to the bathroom first after I reminded him 12,243,978 times not to touch anything! I hung my purse and diaper bag on the hook and handed the baby to R.
I took down my pants and hovered and peed. It was evident I had my period and I told my kids to watch the baby, I mean really, what a way to scar your kids for life.
"So, you say your mom had her period when she went to the bathroom in Connecticut that time on a trip? You repressed it all this time and now you want to kill yourself because you can't get the vision out of your brain?" his therapist asks L in 20 years.

I did my business quick, I was like the wind. I hudled, I peed I wiped, I wiped again, new pad on, urine out and I was ready to go. I turned to check I had not peed on the toilet and I did a quick wipe down. My son was staring at me. "Eeewwww" he said as he stook a step closer to look into the toilet.
My daughter was turning red from holding half of her weight in the baby so I scooped him up and off we went.
I chalk it up to things you have to do when you are in a jam.
I wonder if that one moment will haunt them for years to come.

Monday, November 10, 2008

We Survived!

I am alive. I can barely believe I am saying this but the trip went well.
I survived the kids survived and I am here to tell you about it, that exceeded all my expectations.

We drove up on Thursday and it was raining which I thought was going to slow me down but it really didn't, I made good time. I borrowed E's uncle's navigation system which I will now need one of my own because I could not have made the trip without it. We stopped once to eat and go to the bathroom and one more time so I can pump gas!
I did it, I referred to the detailed instructions E left me and it was easier than I thought. Although I don't know why anyone thinks that doing it yourself is better, who wants to get out in the cold/snow/rain/heat to pump gas. The nice little man comes up to my warm/dry/cool car to do it for me and I never have to wait.

New Hampshire is just like NJ but more......rural. Much more rural than I am used to. I will have to adapt to things like driving for more than 1 minute to get to a convenience store or Target, we have a septic system which I didn't even know still existed and oil heat which I don't even want to know how much costs to fill up the tank.
E has some family there and they are all so nice and welcoming, it feels good. My kids got along with his cousin's children so well that L was crying when we got home, he missed his new friends.

The trip home was longer I hit some traffic in NY and NJ. I am tired, I am sad to leave E there and I just can't wait for us to be all together again, no matter where we live.
Today I have to unpack, do tons of laundry and pick out some paint colors for our new house.

Now if only someone buys my house, we will be in good shape.

I do apologize that this post is not peppered with "pumping" jokes and references. You can tell I am tired, you really deserve better.

edited to add: Who wants to room with me at Blogher in Chicago? I promise to:
a) not be pregnant
b) clean up after myself
c) get my drink on
d) show you my gas pumping skillz

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Loosing My Mind

I am a glutton for punishment. I told E I would visit him with the kids this weekend since the kids are off from school.
What did I get myself into? Five and a half hours PLUS a stop with three kids. BY MYSELF!

I wish you guys could come over and calm me down or come with me.
Road Trip!
I have to calm down enough to try and find my duffel bag. Oh and pack for three kids and myself plus bottles, toys, blankets, snacks, formula, toothbrushes and other crap.

Pray for my soul, will you?
I am off to go study my instructions on how to put gas in your car, BECAUSE I LIVE IN NJ THE HOME OF SELF SERVICE GASOLINE, LIKE IT SHOULD BE EVERYWHERE.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Kiss Me I Voted

I am so excited for today. I have been waiting about 2 lo0ng years for this day and hopefully for my candidate to win. I have been one of the many, many unfortunate people who have felt personally how terribly this country has been run the last eight years. My husband lost his job, and with that: his insurance (I was 5 months pregnant) his life insurance, his car and computer.
We almost lost our home and would have if millions of other people were not in the same situation. We lost our savings.
Most of all we lost our hope.
Hope that we can work 50+ hours a week and have a little house in a little town with a couple of kids and be able take a vacation once a year and to be able to pay for college one day, to breathe.

Today I am going to vote for who I think can better fix the problems this country has gotten into and then build ourselves up better before we take care of other countries. I am going to vote for a world I think will be better for my kids and yours.
I am going to vote for hope that the American dream can still come true.

Then I am going to get my free coffee at Starbucks.

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Monday, November 03, 2008


Our Halloween was just what the kids wanted. Fun, dressing up like their favorite heroes and mucho candy.

The kids had a parade at school so E & I drove up to the school about 10 minutes before the parade. We were running a little late but the lines of cars up and down the nearby streets was ridiculous. We had to park several blocks away and had to run (I am SO out of shape) to get to the parade in time.
We made it just as our kids went by then went to stand by the ropes to see them sing a couple of Halloween songs. I have never in my life been so aggravated at grown ups. They were pushing and shoving E and I who were at the front of the ropes. This was not the Stones in concert people, we were staring at the back of 300 kid's heads. There really was nothing to see but that didn't stop people pushing into me with their kids, one lady who asked if her kid could sit at our feet, then sat ON our feet with her kid!
We finally left early because there was nothing else to see, but man that made me want to get out of Jersey. People are just so self important here and so rude.

The most important thing was that Sleeping Beauty, Bat Man and a monkey (with five teeth now!)had a great day.