I have been having a hard time writing these days. My creative juices are just not flowing. I feel myself spiraling into a depression phase.
I never thought it would take this long to sell our house. I know it is a tough time to sell anything but our house is sweet! all new appliances! great schools and close to shopping and restaurants!
Being without E for this long has taken his toll on me. He is my ying, he calms me down and talks me off the ledges I perched myself on from time to time. He is my co-parent.
I can tell I am getting depressed because I just realized I don't know when the last time I left the house with the kids. I will bunker myself in my home. After my father died there would be weeks that went by when I didn't leave the house.
After all, I have no reason to leave, I have no friends here. No one to hold me accountable. It seems like so much trouble to leave the house, the effort seems just too much.
You know it is bad because I am looking forward to my in-laws coming this Friday AND I wish they were staying with us so they can wake up with the baby in the night.
Someone send help, I must be delirious.
2 months ago