Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

I have been having a hard time writing these days. My creative juices are just not flowing. I feel myself spiraling into a depression phase.
I never thought it would take this long to sell our house. I know it is a tough time to sell anything but our house is sweet! all new appliances! great schools and close to shopping and restaurants!

Being without E for this long has taken his toll on me. He is my ying, he calms me down and talks me off the ledges I perched myself on from time to time. He is my co-parent.
I can tell I am getting depressed because I just realized I don't know when the last time I left the house with the kids. I will bunker myself in my home. After my father died there would be weeks that went by when I didn't leave the house.
After all, I have no reason to leave, I have no friends here. No one to hold me accountable. It seems like so much trouble to leave the house, the effort seems just too much.

You know it is bad because I am looking forward to my in-laws coming this Friday AND I wish they were staying with us so they can wake up with the baby in the night.
Someone send help, I must be delirious.


  1. I would hang with you if I lived close!

    It's hard. It is SO hard to be away from one another. I've been there. It will come to an end and you'll be together and you'll look back and think "that wasn't so bad." I promise!

    When I am in the dumps, I go with it for a day or two. Let yourself drag and do what you need to do. Then kick it in the ass and get out there! Go for a walk, in your PJs if you must. Go to the mall or the grocery store. Call your husband a 1,000 times during the work day. Get a sitter and go to lunch or dinner and take a good book with you. Do whatever you need to do to shake the funk. Repeat as necessary.

  2. I'm the exact same way as you. I sometimes have to force myself out of the house. But then I don't want to leave. If I didn't work, I would never leave the home. Something just happens where I get cozy there. That coziness soon turns to a bit of a funk and then mild depression. I could easily become a shut in. Oh sister, if you want I'll try to talk people into moving to Jersey. I'll let them know I have a friend with the perfect home for them. I hope your place sells soon!

  3. I hope your house sells soon, too, and you can all be together again. I know, on some scale, what you're feeling, and I agree completely that it's hard. Just the extra hands and the extra voice of reason is so key to getting through a day. I hope the visit with the inlaws goes well!

  4. oh I understand not leaving with the kids for days and days when you have nothing to leave for. I SO understand this, and then the depression that sets in and then it is even LESS desirable to leave. It is an awful awful cycle :(

    I hope your house sells quickly and your in laws help you out and not make you nuts!

  5. Thank you guys, it is great to know some of you have gone through the sme thing and come out alive.

    I wish you all lived close enough to have drinks with!

    the cycle is horrible isn't it, what scares me is that I am usually like this in teh mid to end of the winter, but it is just the begining. Scary.

  6. Hugs, this economy today sucks and I'm sure that's why nothing is selling. I wanted to sell my jeep and get 5000 out of it, hubs said I would be lucky to get 3000 out of it, so I will keep it. I don't leave my house much either no money to leave it, no reason to leave it other than shopping for food.

  7. my hubs just started traveling again and boy, it sucks. no matter how great the kids are during the day, if you are getting up at all during the night, it's rough. It does take it's toll.

    I am sorry your house isn't selling. I hope this ends soon.

    You are quite strong managing your situation so far. KUDOS TO YOU! It won't last forever.


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