Thursday, January 31, 2008


Hours since I felt "like I may be getting sick": 72

Hours I spent in the emergency room last night: 8

Hours I spent alone inthe waiting room last night: 8

Hours I spent alone, not being able to breath in the ER last night before a real live doctor took 4 minutes to examine me: 6.15

Hours I have spent sleeping in last 24 hours: 3-4

Amount of steriods I have taken and tylenol for the muscle pain I have all over from coughing so much and so hard: too hard to guess

Lets hope I feel better soon and this baby stays safe and continues to bake!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Of course.
I had to go see my endocrinologist today for a routine visit and she was worried about how sick I seemed. She did an exam and said if I can't breathe, which I cannot the baby can't either. Not a fun thought. So now I have to go on a steroid pack similar to a zpack and get healthy.
It is safe for the baby as safe as steroids can be but safer then not getting enough oxygen.

Right from there we took L to his pediatrician because he still has a fever. He has a respiratory infection also (yippee!) and needs his nebulizer and a z pack. I so hate giving him and I these medications but what choice do I have?
I just feel guilty and I hate that.

I hope I feel better tomorrow to give you a proper post!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Death Warmed Over

My son is sick and now I am too. It hit me last night and today I feel like something a cat threw up. Of course not being able to sleep or nap is just terrific at this time.

Send reinforcements.
Send tea.
Send a hot male nurse.
Send someone to carry my baby for a day so I can take some medicine or a beloved ambien.

Friday, January 25, 2008

What are You Doing at 3am?

My husband and I are insomniacs. We have the same problem if we wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, we can't go back to sleep. ( I am pregnant so I have a reason to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but WTH is with E's tiny bladder?)
Then our minds wander to all the problems and concerns we have and forget sleeping. So we talk or make fun of terrible infomercials on in the middle of the night*.
If I know he is awake I will wake up to talk to him or he will just get out of bed at 3am and stay up.
Of course by the time we fall back asleep it is almost time for L, our little rooster, to wake up. He is up by 6:30 every day!
So we are both very tired every day now. E doesn't nap and I really never nap, because I just wake up crabby and in a foul mood.

Here I am at 1:30pm exhausted and waiting for bedtime.

* Except the Jack Lalanne, the godfather of fitness, juicer informercial. Oh, how I wish I had $100 right now to buy this juicer. You an jsut put a whole apple in! Peel and all!
It promises energy and delicious possibilities! I need energy and endless delicious possibilities!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Plus, My Hips Hurt

Somewhat fitting my last post was my 1,000th! Woot!
That is a hell of a lot of complaining, explaining, celebrating, whining and bitching, thank you all for reading and sharing your life, concerns and advice with me.

I realize that the last post (1,ooo!) was a teaser and really I don't think I should blog about it for various reasons but if you are dying to know ( I know I would) email me and I will explain.
Now if you will excuse me I have to find something light to wear to my OB's visit because that weigh in is a bitch, isn't it girls?

Does anyone else use twitter? I am addicted.

Now, Go enter my contest for one of three free personalized fruit rollups a $30 value!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Scary Pregnant Woman

I could tell you about my run in with E's ex boss that had him fired because, well, she was jealous of him and the nice police man who visited me later that night who would rather return to Iraq then work for the NJ police force, but I better not.
Just add the NJ police to the list of people who now know this woman is crazy.

Let us just say someone shit herself and it wasn't me.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Poor Kid Needs to Get Out More

My kids are fed very specific foods picked by moi. No gummy "treats", no cookies besides maybe some animal crackers and no sugary, crappy cereals. They eat Cheerios, granola, Kix and the occasional Life cereal.

yesterday we took teh kids out to lunch for their birthday and the each wanted cereal with fruit and a muffin. They were out of Cherrios so I ordered them corn flakes which they have never had but I knew they would like. When it came to the table in small individual boxes L said "look my cereal is chicken flavored!"

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Birthday, Babies

Dear Babies,

I know you are not babies anymore, I am especially aware of that today of all days, because today you both turned five years old. The past five years have been a blur to me but when I sit and really think about it, I see snapshots in my mind. Your first bath, your first steps and words, feeling grass on your bare feet, dancing in the rain, leaving you at school, how you have grown and what amazing people you have become. I know, I know how I have struggled as your Mom, I have been tested, but you both have kept me strong. I have told you before and I will always remember how you saved me from myself.
L you surprise me every day. You are so brave now and you are becoming our little comedienne. When your sister is being crazy you will just look at me and we will laugh. You see the beauty in mundane things, it is not unusual for you to remark on how beautiful the sun is or how lovely the flowers are. This is my favorite thing about you, you never let me not appreciate the little things.
R, you are brave you stand up for yourself and for your brother. You want everyone to know you are strong and independent but you still need me, and I love that. I hope it never changes. You like to act like you are 15 not 5, but that may be a girl thing, I want to love where you are in life and not try and grow up too soon, a mistake we all make. You are beautiful and you know it but you are so smart too. You love to draw and you are going to be a great artist like Daddy.
I am so thankful to be your Mom, and although I have made some mistakes these last five years I promise to try and learn from them. You are great people and I don't want to mess that up. This year is going to be great for you both, you will start kindergarten, get a baby brother or sister, take swimming lessons and play your first sport on a recreation team. I predict you will love this year and will blossom even more.

I love you my babies and I always will.

Forever, Mommy

Friday, January 18, 2008

A Twin Mess

When you have twins what one doesn't think of, the other does. Usually the one that thinks of everything is my daughter, R. She is the mastermind, the plotter, the one with the devious mind. L goes along with almost everything R says he is the lookout, the co-conspirator, if you will.

When E started a new job two years ago, he was away for a month for training. He came home every weekend but from Sunday night to Friday night, I was alone with the two almost-three-year-olds. To say it was tough would be an understatement.

They were also just introduced to toddler beds a month or so before E left. Getting them both to take a nap was hard. They would get out of bed, fool around, jump and play. I can understand that, but they needed a nap, they still need naps. One particular day everything grew quiet upstairs. Usually when a child is quiet it means trouble, but this time I convinced myself they were sleeping. In reality, I was probably just saving myself another trip up the stairs to check on them. When nap time should have been over and the kids still weren't making any noise, I went upstairs to check on them.

What I saw was the worst mess I have ever seen in my house.

They pulled everything out of the closet and off the hanger and threw it onto the floor. Sweaters, coats, skirts, dresses, belts and shoes were strewn everywhere. Then they took everything out of their drawers, even the drawer that contained diapering paraphernalia including baby powder. It looked like a flour factory exploded in R's room. I just sat down in the middle of the mess and cried.

I cried because I missed E, I cried because I missed living close to my family & friends and I cried because I knew I had to clean that whole mess by myself!

The kids just stared at me, I am not sure they ever saw me cry before. Then they did something I wasn't expecting.

They laughed at me.

They will pay for that when they are 13.

This is the biggest mess I have ever had to clean up, and I wrote about it for the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas for an Oreck XL Ultra Vacuum contest, which is the Cadillac of all vacuums!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Just an Ordinary Day, Just trying to Get By

I know things can be worse, I know bad things happen to good people, but I needed a "woe is me" day. I am done now. I just hope E gets ajob before we lose everything, the timing couldn't be worse.

I need some advice for you mothers or mothers to be, tell me what I should pack in my bag for the hopsital.
Or if you are going to try to potty train soon, check out my readiness quiz now with informative tips!
Also, check out this awesome product from American Terry Co. There textiles are amazing, and they have great gift ideas for kids.

Other then that, can we just celebrate the fact that I haven't had one of those terrible leg cramps at night that are so terrible and the aftershocks linger for a whole day after. That SO rocks.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Life Can Be So Cruel

I really have never been more stressed out in my life. E has still not had any job offers, he has some more interviews lined up but it is hard to keep up faith and hope every week. Week after week it is more bad news. How much more can a family take?
It seems like when it rains it pours and financially we are in the middle of a typhoon.

I find myself wishing I wasn't pregnant so I could go back to work full time and pick up where I am needed. The baby is due in such a short time and I am scared.
So very scared.

We need a small miracle here and E is out right now trying to make sure we have some security. This mostly falls onto his shoulders and I think he may break soon, if his mood and demeanor last night is any sign, he will be breaking soon. I am not sure I could pick up the pieces.
We are not bad people. We work hard, we are raising good kids, we are just struggling to make it like everyone else. We don't vacation, we don't live lavishly, we do without for our kids.
I feel so badly for him because he feel like a failure and so do I. We are failures.

Is there any millionaires out there that want to adopt my family for a small amount of time??

Monday, January 14, 2008

List Mania

Is it just me or is everyone pregnant? So many bloggers I read are expecting babies around or just after me, so many celebrities and some of my friends in real life. It must be baby season, because all I hear about is babies.

We are starting to think about taking out all of our baby "stuff" clothing, gear and all the things you need for a small new baby. I have made lists! I love lists and make them for every reason and they sit all over the house and E will just look at them and laugh. I make lists of foods I am craving and want the next day, I make lists of baby gear we need, I even made a list of what I want to pack in my hospital bag.
But the lists are as far as I have gotten so far.

One list that keeps reappearing is our baby name list. It is short this time around. We have a boy's name and we have two we like for a girl. We had two last time for our daughter and she was 24 hours old before we could finally decide between the two. I think that is what is going to happen this time.
we like both girl names and neither of us can pick one over the other.

Maybe we have to see the baby before we decide like with R. Maybe I will let the internets decide once the baby is born.
Or maybe it will be a boy at this will all be for naught.

Thursday, January 10, 2008


You know you are a Mom when:

You stand in line without complaining for 20 minutes just so your kids can get a balloon animal

Smell not only your kid's diapers but willingly smell other people's children's diapers to find where a particular odor is coming from

Give up your precious sleep to check and see if they are still breathing

You can carry on a conversation, do your daughter's hair and problem solve all while you are peeing.

You never go to the bathroom alone (see above)

Let your kids watch more TV then you ever thought you would just so you can get some peace and quiet

Judge other Mothers because it makes you feel better about the kind of mother you are (c'mon you know you do it!)

Can't watch the news or made for TV movies for fear of hearing about something horrible happening to a child

Watch the clock until it is your child's bedtime then miss them 30 minutes later

Now you finish this sentence: You know you are a mom when........

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Change for Life

My sister has two sons, one is seven years old and the other is two. Both have/had speech delays and her older son has problems paying attention. He has trouble concentrating in school, finishing his work, and following through with tasks. We have suggested taking him to her pediatrician, letting him be evaluated, to get him tested but since she has problems with following through with things and being organized it never got done.

Recently she moved and now my nephew goes to a new school district, a better one. They want to have him evaluated to make sure he is in the right classes, etc and they also send him to a medical doctor for evaluation, which I think is amazing. I think there are two roads he is going to travel down, either we try and intervene and give him the help he needs now, or he will be medicated for ADD for a long time. I know ADD medications are terrific, and help a lot of people, I probably know more about this types of medications then the average person, because E worked with these types of medications. Medicating kids in my opinion is a last resort.

I have offered to help her research and organize a new diet plan for their home. My nephews and my sister and her husband will no longer be allowed to eat just anything. No sugar, no red dye in foods, various supplements, a hard task to accomplish. It will take an overhaul of how she shops, eats, cooks, and is more effort then she is used to putting in. I asked her to give him 2-3 weeks on this new "diet" and see how he does both at home and at school.

I want to know if anyone has an experiences with this to share with me. What do you think about medicating children?

Monday, January 07, 2008

Life Lessons

One thing I hated about my childhood was that I had a early bedtime. As a parent now, I see the benefit of the early bedtime to both me and my parents, but as a child going to bed when the sun is still out in the summer and you can hear the kids playing outside, is not fun. Not fun at all.
You try and fall asleep because what else can you do, but your slumber will not come. You hear your friends under your window, birds chirping and the ice cream man slowly going down your street.
Is this familiar to anyone besides me?

I would go to school and my peers would talk about shows I have never heard of. I was left out, I was put to bed after the Muppet Show! A late night for me was 8pm on a school night. My friends would talk about all of these great TV shows that I never got a chance to see and I was jealous.
Then came the MASH finale. I am not sure I had ever watched MASH before, but I wanted to see that finale. I begged my Mom. She said no, it was a school night after all.
I did what any other third grader would do..... I cried.

I cried and whined and cried some more for what seemed like forever after my bedtime. I heard the theme music. It was time to step it up despite being yelled at to be quiet about 23728 times. I cried more. I was literally crying myself to sleep. I was exhausted, it was way after my bedtime and I was making myself stay up to prove a point. I am Irish, stubborn is my middle name.

Finally my Mom came in my room and told me, in a not so nice tone, that I could come out to the living room and watch it. She probably only gave in so she could watch her favorite show in peace. I watched it, forcing my eyes to stay open the whole time. I was so excited to go to school the next day, to talk about something that was on TV past 7pm with my peers, to finally be in the know.

You know what is coming right? Yeah, nobody mentioned the MASH finale, no one has seen it. After all of that, I was defeated.
That probably wasn't my first lesson learned in life, but it is one I still remember. I did need my sleep, everyone in the world was not watching MASH but me, and my Mom did know best, but I was too tired to admit it to her.
I remember that every time I put my kids to bed when the sun is still out, kids are playing on our street and the ice cream man passes our house.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Healthy Days Are here Again

I am trying to remain healthy in this house despite the fact that E is sick and our daughter R has a runny nose. L and I are hanging on to our health, but for how long? I do not want to be pregnant and sick, I have enough problems.

In baby news, (s)he is measuring at 30 weeks, which is one week ahead of me and is already head down with a strong heartbeat. (S)he moves so much all over with I was told is because there is so much room because of my overly stretched out uterus, the outcome of having two huge twins in you for 39 weeks. I also do not have gestational diabetes despite having eaten my body weight in candy, chocolate and goodies since October.
My thyroid is functioning fine although we will have to monitor it for the rest of my pregnancy and for months after because hormone flux does wacky things to thyroids.
Now I am feeling great after this doctor's appointment and all this reassuring news.

How has your 2008 been so far?

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Wax On or Off?

How crazy would I really be if in my current third trimester state, went to get a bikini wax?

I wonder if I would be more sensitive, less or whocaresIhaveababycomingsoon.
I also wonder what kind of waxing to get a traditional conservative wax or go all out and bare all? Maybe I should just wait until I get close to my due date and get it all done then so I don't have to worry about it for awhile.

Who knew birthing babies would be so complicated.