The Mom Version of In

Since I have become a mom I have had to leave fashion behind. I try to keep up with some trends but it is hard when you no longer have a disposable income or disposable time. I don't have the time to shower let alone dry and iron my hair (which takes at least 45 minutes btw). There are so many "in" things that I would like to have or try but instead I have the mom version of "in".

In:
Posh Spice angled hair cut
Mom Version:
ponytail

In:
Louis Vuitton Monogram Vernis Roxbury Drive purse
Mom Version:
Waterproof diaper bag

In:
Prius
Mom Version:
Generic minivan with french fries ground into carpet

In:
La Perla
Mom Version:
Any bra that can list your boobs back to where they should be

In:
smudged eyeliner
Mom version:
under eye circles

In:
Big designer sunglasses
Mom Version:
Anything that covers up the fact you just left the house with no makeup

In:
Staying up all night partying
Mom Version:
Staying up all night with a sick baby

In:
A size smaller than what you already are
Mom Version:
Anything less than what you weighed when you were pregnant, is a small victory!

Moms

You know you are a Mom when:

You stand in line without complaining for 20 minutes just so your kids can get a balloon animal

Smell not only your kid's diapers but willingly smell other people's children's diapers to find where a particular odor is coming from

Give up your precious sleep to check and see if they are still breathing

You can carry on a conversation, do your daughter's hair and problem solve all while you are peeing.

You never go to the bathroom alone (see above)

Let your kids watch more TV then you ever thought you would just so you can get some peace and quiet

Judge other Mothers because it makes you feel better about the kind of mother you are (c'mon you know you do it!)

Can't watch the news or made for TV movies for fear of hearing about something horrible happening to a child

Watch the clock until it is your child's bedtime then miss them 30 minutes later


Now you finish this sentence: You know you are a mom when........