This time of year makes me the most melancholy. As if that explains what I am thinking and doing now in my life. It is that first day of spring where you have your windows open all day, and at dusk the cool breeze blows hard down your back and makes you want a sweater but you keep the windows open a little longer?
That day makes me melancholy. Maybe wistful.
I feel better about myself than I have in ages. I have lost weight, I have a income, I am seeing my friends again a couple of times a month. I have new friends. I am doing things outside my comfort zone.
I knew staying home with the twins when they were born over 7 years ago was important- and something I wanted to do.
We decided giving up my salary was something we could sacrifice for it, but I am just now realizing what else I sacrificed in the meantime.
Everything was about my kids- especially since we had no friends or family near us to help. That is how it is supposed to be but it really took a toll on my marriage, my appearance, my life. It was if I had no idea who I was anymore besides a mom.
I am coming into myself and it feels fantastic. After this long journey of E losing his job and us scrambling, fighting and praying for 2 years, it feels great to be able to breathe again.
I doubted you people when you said to keep strong and that we would come out on the other side.
We have a ways to go to get back to where we were but we will do it.
I can do it.
3 months ago