Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Addicted to Love

When I first started dating E I was 22, still living at home and working with him. After about four months he planned a trip to Florida to visit his sister & brother in law. He invited me to go, but I didn't because I wanted to save up money to move out. Get my own pad like he had.
So he left for a week's vacation and I got sick. My Mom diagnosed it as love sick, and I was.
I was so lonely and I knew I loved him more then I had any other person in the world, but we had only known each other for a few months, how could this be?
I was physically sick, with the tissues and the chicken soup.

Fast forward nine years almost to the date and here I am again, sick and sad because E is leaving for a month for work. Now it is even harder because I have the house, the kids, the dog and the cats to worry about. It is all on me. Me. The girl who still feel like she is 16.
How in the hell am I going to do it?

Sure E will be home for the weekends, but I will still miss him terribly. I always joke that I am addicted to him, that he is my drug, but what is scary is that I think it is true.
Maybe I am more dependent on him then I should be. Maybe this is my chance to prove to myself that I am an adult and I can do it all by myself.

OR maybe I will fail miserably and E will find me in a ball in my closet.

1 comment:

  1. Such a sweet post! I'm sure E loves you as much! Be strong, you could do it! :)


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