Happy Birthday

Today I will bring you a gift, but not to your house
to a place I never thought I would be
I will cry
selfishly for myself
I miss you today
maybe
even more then yesterday
I remember the smell of your cologne on my hands
after I drove your car
your bright smile
the way you made me feel like it would be ok
even if I was unsure
the glimmer in your eyes
your jokes
the way you made everyone comfortable in our house
I remember your hugs
and your voice
how you always called my by my middle name
I remember your love like a blanket covering me
even in the coldest and bleakest days of my life
I hope I always remember
I remember your strong hands
I remember
I remember
I remember
I remember