Friday, April 11, 2008

Hair, Massages and Boobs, Oh My!

My husband and children gave me a gift certificate for a massage for my birthday. A well needed massage, I must say, especially after carrying a 9+ pound baby around in my bod for forty weeks (he wasn't 9lbs the entire 40 weeks, I know. He just felt like it). E had made the appointment for 3 that afternoon and I had to rush after I brought all 3 kids to the doctor to pump and change underwear for my massage.
As I was leaving I remembered that I hadn't shaved my legs in some time.

Me: Shit, I haven't shaved my legs!

E: So? Tell the woman you just had a baby and haven't shaved your legs.

Me: And what about my boobs? I have only had time to pump one boob for 15 minutes, what if I leak?

E: So? Just wear your bra, or lay on your side.

Me: Side massages suck. There is no point to them. Wearing your bra sucks ass too, that is where all the attention should be, in my back. I need good back action.

E: So? Just tell her you had a baby!

Me: You know? I am really sick of having to tell strangers "sorry my boobs may leak and please don't look at my unshaven legs"*. It happens more then it should.

Men have it so easy don't they?

* as a young girl, I never would have thought this sentence would have passed my lips, but now, sadly, it is a common occurrence.


  1. OOO, Hope you had a lovely massage despite all your "issues". Can't wait to get on the other side. Comes with so much more, but how much longer can my body take this!

    Happy Pampering!

  2. HAppy Birthday Tuesday Girl!!! WooHoo!!!! can bet BIG MONEY people giving massages see alot. of. scary. crap. I bet a leaking boob and a hairy leg will be a welcome change!!

    Enjoy your day to your self....screw the rest of the world with their clean shaven legs and dried up breasts.

  3. Happy Birthday!!!

    I got a massage when I was nine months pregnant and you would not believe how disgusting I was! Don't fret a leaky boob!

  4. Happy Birthday! Hope it turns out to be a wonderful year for you!

    Isn't it funny? The sentences that pass our lips once we become moms -- things we NEVER thought we'd hear ourselves say? :-)

  5. Happy birthday! Hope the pampering went well, and you were able to enjoy everything despite having hairy legs and leaky breasts (they understood, right?)
    Thanks for the great diapering tip! We have some stickers somewhere that I'm going to bring out and try for the next diapering session.

  6. Massages are supposed to be relaxing, but I always get all worked up beforehand, worrying about my unshaven legs...

    Hope you enjoyed it.


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