Friendship

I was the first one in my circle of friends to have children. When I had my twins I was still living by my home town, so all of my friends came to visit me and my new babies in the hospital. When the remainder of my friends were married I would drive the 1.5 hours home to go to various showers, rehearsal dinners and to participate in weddings. When my friends had their baby I waited 1 day to let the new parents settle in and drove up to visit my friends and their newest arrivals. I wanted to do it.

I visited one friend on the same day I learned I was miscarrying my triplets. I went to Carters with my tear streaked face covered by my darkest and biggest sunglasses to purchase a gift on my way up to see the newest baby in our circle of friends.
This time, when I had my third and last child, E informed my friends via email when he returned that night from the hospital.
Not one of them visited.

Sure there were promises and "tell us when you are settled and we will visit", then things got busy and nothing. They figured they would just see me when I went to one of their child's birthday party that was scheduled for last week.
It took a long time for me to admit that really, I am very hurt. I have shuttled my twins up, missed naps, E has taken off of work, I have found sitters to go and visit them and for them not even to call me for a week after I had my baby is hurtful.
I know life gets in the way, I know how hard it can be to plan trips with kids because I have done it.

I wonder when being a friend is more work then you get back and if that is a friendship at all. Maybe my old friends and I have grown apart more then just geographically.
Maybe it is time for new friends.