Notes For A Former Lover

Letting someone you slept with know that you inadvertently exposed them to your STD can be awkward.
I know you have been there.
Fear not, now there is an email service that lets you contact your past lovers electronically and let them know they have been exposed because you are a whore. You can even pick out the cute little graphic to go along with your note.
Common courtesy be damned, now just send and anonymous card!
Now why didn't I think of this?

It got me thinking that there really should be a Hallmark card for such an occasion, so I took the liberty of creating one:

Suddenly you have an itch
That is because I am a bitch
That night I slept with all your brothers
and we both know I do not like using rubbers

I feel horrible about your abnormal vaginal discharge
be careful that your penis does not enlarge
for that means you are in trouble
and your balls may begin to bubble

I am so sorry that your balls have bumps
but that's what you get when you mess with my humps
run to the free clinic asap
for the next step is burning when you pee


Please, feel free to use this next time you are in a jam and care enough to send the very best.