We have a little problem here in our house in the big woods of New Hampshire- ants. Not the cute, cuddly little ants you see on the sidewalk, or even the smart cool ants from the movies.
These are huge, black, ugly ants. They grow them big here in New England. Bugs that is.
I know what you are saying to yourself "Tuesday Girl, why do you have to bring color into this?" and my response is "because it is my blog and I would hate them the same as if they were white ants, or ants wearing tiny yarmulkes, and I am an equal opportunist hater. Of all bugs that enter my home. Call the Rev. Al of the insect world if you must".
So these big ants were everywhere in my house and at first it was mearly annoying but quickly progressed to total gross out.
Plus I was using all of my precious tissues* to kill them with the enormous strength of my hand. The squash is so satisfying, I love knowing a trespasser learned his lesson.
I only wish I could leave a picture of his dead corpse with a teeny little newspaper by it on my front steps to warn the others of what lies ahead dare they enter my home.
I almost second guessed myself when I saw a ant carrying a fallen brother- one of his comrades if you will, back to their fortress of evil doings. I hesitated, maybe if I let this one live the others would rally around the corpse screaming "WHY? WHY him? He was a good soldier". They would learn their lesson, go about evil in someone else's yard and all would be right with the world.
Instead I just squashed him with my tissue and went out to buy ant traps.
I mean there is only so much compassion I can give something less then 2 inches long.
Just ask that guy I dated in 1992.
* I personally keep kleenex in business. I love tissues and blow my nose probably 20-25 times a day.
2 months ago