Bye Bye Worst Year Of My Life

What I Have Been Up To

Things I did do this past week:
-Christmas-ed it up with family
-had my hair cut shorter than it is has been since I was maybe 3 years old (pics to come soon -eeek)
-also had to dye my hair darker for the time being until the damage I did with the stupid "semi" permanent, natural hair dye comes out. I keep not recognizing myself in the mirror, it is weird.
-looked at places to live in NJ which was so depressing I cannot tell you. Trying to find a OKAY place to live with 3 bedrooms under $1800 a month? Impossible.
-cried because we are going to have to live in a crappy old place
-yelled at E when the baby fell down a flight of stairs on Christmas Eve when E was supposed to be watching him
-made homemade cinnamon rolls and peanut butter cups

Things I did not do this past week:-eat too much
-drink too much (I should have-hindsight)
-yell too much (except for the baby down the stairs incident, an image I will never forget)
-sleep enough
-laundry and now I am paying for it
-used twitter
-internet usage as a whole was way down which is liberating in a way and made me miss it in another way
-drink enough coffee

I can't wait for 2009 to be over and I will have a vlog about this craptastic year and what I hope 2010 brings, tomorrow!

Christmas

we had a hideous trip to NJ yesterday abut we made it. My mother took my daughter and I to the salon for a gift and i got my hair color fixed and then cut it all off. R got a well needed trim as well.
We are staying at my sister's house and although it is a small house it is filled with love and joy. While we are here we will look for places to live, visit my family and prepare to come back for good next month.

I truly wish each an every one of you a Merry Christmas and a Merry everything. I wish you peace and love. I wish you joy and health. I wish you everything my family and I have.
I wish some magic in your life this day and always.

2010

So. Here we are.
Employed. Happy, excited and so grateful for the best Christmas gift ever.

So, why am I plagued by all the awful thoughts in my head?
The ones that tell me how hard it is going to be and how much work has to come in the next few weeks. The ones that tell me that despite the fact my kids will be so happy to be with their family again, switching them to another new school is going to hurt them.
The same voices who tell me that E's job is for a lot less money and we will moving back to a VERY expensive state and I have to find a job to make up the difference and nobody will even look at my resume since I have been a SAHM for 7 years.

I won't let those voices be heard, I will keep them under all the positive thoughts of all the good things to come.
I will fight my demons with all that I have.

We are excited for this new day with new chances. We will make good on all the promises we made to each other over the past two years.
We will give back to people just like our friends and family did for us when we needed it.
We will not forget all the people who helped us financially, emotionally and spiritually. We can never truly repay them, but we can try.

2010 is going to be a great year. It is going to be hard but great.
I can just feel it.

Exhale

E got the job.

Let me repeat that so as it just may sink into my brain: E GOT THE JOB!

Huge exhale.

It is a job in a totally different industry- no more big pharma.
It is in New Jersey.
It has full benefits. The pay is just okay it is a lot less than he was making, but we will make do.

We have a job.

E will rock this job, I know he can and he will. I am his biggest supporter and I have been behind him 1000% all these years- especially the last two.
I know this doesn't end all of our troubles, it comes with a smaller, new set of things to work out but if we can handle what the universe has thrown our way then we can handle anything.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your comments, emails, prayers, positive thoughts and love for me and my family.
E and I appreciate them all and they have meant a lot to me personally.

DUDES! We have a job!

Hang on because I am not going anywhere and it looks like 2010 is going to be a whole other adventure.

Are you ready?

Yeah. So am I.

Holding Our Breath

EDIT AGAIN:
Here is is Monday at 3:30 adn STILL NO CALL! E had enough and just called the lady he interviewed with. The otehr lady was out, they have had meetings all day excuses excuses they will call him today or tomorrow.
I mean REALLY, how much more stress can we take?!
::::Good package vibes for us:::::::


Today we are waiting on big news. We are 75% sure E will get a job offer today. We just hope after all of this time, the moving and changing our kid's schools, the sacrifices, the doubt, the hope, the loss of faith, the stress, the exhaustion, the facing the unknown day after day, that the offer is solid.

All we need is a good, solid offer and we can start all over again.

EDIT TO ADD: It is 8am Friday morning and still nothing as of yet.
until Monday
EDIT TO ADD AGAIN: Really, you people are going to make us wait until Monday ?? The universe is really having its way with us and just kicking us repeatedly in the balls when we are down. The only thing that is making us NOT pull out all of our hair is the fact that they called last Saturday morning.
Torture!

How Lame Can I Be?

There must be something in the air today. I woke up in a great mood, crashed into a terrible mood in 3 seconds and now I am stable, but still a little crazy.
So crazy in fact that I am here to tell you some embarrassing, never before revealed fact about me.

Fact #1 I was SO very lame today that I blanked out on just how to load the thread onto my sewing machine. I had to take out the book and then watch the DVD. I will repeat that as to get the full amount of lame-ness: I had to watch a sewing DVD.
Haven't they made sewing machines yet that you can just throw the thread into it and go? I am doing the same thing I did 20 years ago in sewing class. L A M E.

Fact #2 Sometimes when I am bored I watch the videos on here. I find it gross AND fascinating all at once.

Fact #3 This website cracks me up, I just love it.

Fact #4 I hate taking showers. Don't worry I still take them, but I hate it. I feel so good afterwards, but it is the whole process of shaving everything, washing my hair and conditioning. It takes forever. Not to mention my hair is so thick it takes about 30 minutes to dry completely, much longer if I want it to look like anything but a straw sombrero.

Fact #5 I keep my house so cold that I am freezing with damp hair for hours after my shower. New England + oil heat + poverty does not make a warm happy Tuesday Girl.

Fact #6 Me likes cold spaghetti for brunch.

Fact #7 I feel so satisfied when I clean my kid's ears and I get a dirty Q-tip. I even clean my nephews ears if I think they are dirty.
It is a small but worthwhile victory.

Fact #8 I am practically hairless. After waxing my legs for a year, the hair growth almost completely stopped. Hair only grows below my knee and only in one batch of leg. Strange but a pleasant surprise. Anything to get me out of the shower faster.

Fact #9 E and I both like to vacuum. We fight over who gets to do a particular dirty spot sometimes.

Grinch

The holidays were so much easier before we had kids. If I didn't want to put up a tree, I didn't put up a tree. If I didn't want to decorate or bake cookies, I didn't. Not that this situation ever happened, I love Christmas, I love the baking, the smells, the parties, I love it all.

Until this year.
I don't want to decorate this house we are being forced from. Last year I wondered where we would put the tree in this house and how great it would be to decorate every room in this big, lovely home.
This year I don't want to do anything.

The kids have been asking when we will decorate, when we will get a tree, when, when when? E and I will force ourselves to decorate (but I will cut waaay back) and the kids and E will cut down a tree in the yard today.
I don't have the money to do the elaborate baking I would usually do, so that will have to be scaled back also.
It makes me not want to do it at all.

I know this season is about making memories and being with our family, and what is really important. I know.
I know it is my kids who will kick start my heart. I know it is for them, E and I will rally and get the spirit flowing. The deserve nothing less and they will get everything we can give them.

I just hope I can get the spirit going soon though, because I feel like a Grinch. And I would hate to have a heart two sizes too small.
That would be just more than I could take.

I Can See Again

I have had glasses since I was in the third grade and could no longer see the chalkboard. I still use my glasses for driving and to watch television. When it comes to picking out new glasses, they have to be good quality and a great price. I would never think of buying my eyeglasses online, but GlassesUSA gave me the chance to try them out and see just what buying glasses online was all about.


GlassesUSA.com offers a great solution for buying glasses. They have a wide variety of eyeglass frames starting from just $18!
All of their lenses not only exceed FDA requirements but they pass their “5-stripe” process prior to shipment. If they do not meet these standards – they are not shipped.

I have to admit, I was nervous getting glasses online, after all isn't that something you need to see in person and on yourself to buy?
I was encouraged by their 30-day return policy, if you are unsatisfied with your glasses, they will be happy to exchange your frames with another pair of equal value or refund your order. Whew.
It is easy to sort through the eyeglass frames, you can shop by price, category, material, lens type or gender. GlassesUSA also has a Vision Guide on their website that helps you make your choice. They have an article on how to choose frames to flatter your style and how to choose prescription eyeglasses that fit your facial shape.
I had heavy, think frames before so i wanted a change. I went with the Vegas glasses for that Sarah Palin look. It took a couple of weeks for my glasses to arrive, but when they did I wasn't disappointed.
They fit my face, the complimented my face shape and were very nice. It took awhile to get used to the rimless, light glasses but after a few days I was good.

All in all it was a good experience, I think the only downside to buying glasses online is the wait time to get them, but if you are looking for a second set, or a new pair and you don't need to rush, buying online is right for you.
I have suggested this site to my mother who is always buying a pair of glasses or sunglasses for herself and I would recommend them to you too!