I can't live without E anymore. I have turned in three weeks what took six months to torn into last year. Someone I don't recognize, someone who I do not want to be.
I lash out at my children, the stress of being a single parent to three for days and nights on end are weighing on me. I think of doing for my children as a burden not my job and the boredom of being stuck in the house for days and days is terrible. Even baby K is bored. I am quick tempered and it even scares me.
So, we are taking up an offer to stay at a relative's home in NJ while we save a bit and take some time to find a place to live. It is not ideal for anyone and I will have to home school the kids while we are there, but at least we can be together.
E being away isn't just tough on me, I know the kids take it hard too. The money and the commute of 4+ hours every week each way is too much for E also.
In just a couple of days we will pack up what we need for now and move in with family and reconnect with each other. I will be able to appreciate my job as a mother again.
They deserve that and so do I.
3 months ago