Thursday, September 03, 2009

At Least He Doesn't Have A Mullet

My husband E, started losing his hair in his late 20s. A little less on top, a little less on the sides every month. He wasn't as proactive or outraged as I wanted him to be and just went with it.
I, on the other hand, was outraged. If it was me I would have bought every cream, every shampoo visited every doctor and sold my sole to the devil for hair implants (ala Jon Gosselin).

He took it in stride told me it was because he was much more manly than other men because he had EXTRA testosterone (like you need more of that) fist bumped his chest and went off to masterbate.
Or something.

Then in December of 2006 without marital consult, he shaved all his hair off. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was now officially and forever going to be married to a bald man.
I never saw that coming!

Last night I was half jokingly telling E he should just get a wig.

Me: you know, you should just get a wig already.

E: ::blink blink::

Me: so you have a very awkward one day, after that it will be over.

E: are you kidding me?

Me: NO! there are two approaches, you can just go into work one Monday and say "I now have hair, enjoy my follicles of hairiness!" or you can just go into work and say nothing at all. Sure they will talk about you behind your back but they will get over it.
Worst case scenario: you get a cool nickname form your coworkers like "freak" or "hair today gone tomorrow".

E: what if I get a red wig?

Me: can you stop making a joke out of this, I am serious.

E: I am hungry.

So there it is, I will forever be married to a bald man who doesn't care I don't like bald men and eats in bed.


  1. Haha. Well, he could start wearing do-rags. Oh ohoh, or turbans. My grandma use to wear those. Very classy.

  2. I like bald as long as the scalp is not all lumpy and gross!

  3. A turban is an option we are considering.

    His bald head is not lumpy and very clean!

  4. Even though my husband has a full head of hair, I remember telling him years ago, if it ever started falling out, he should pull a Bruce Willis and shave it off. But then again I think that's sexy.

  5. You should let him get a 'fro wig. He could wear a pick in it.

    I started shaving my head about ten years ago. If I start losing it it won't be noticable.

  6. I can't believe he shaved his head without consulting you! That's pretty extreme. But I personally prefer the bald look to the bald-ing look.

  7. LOL! I'm adding you to my sidebar!


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