VMA Recap- Lady KahKah

Friends, we have SO much to talk about. First let's go full on VMAs.
I have to say watching the VMAs makes me feel old and I try to stay away from anything that ages me like ruched bathing suits and wigs.
I try and stay on the cutting edge of celebrity/bands/whats hot, but it is exhausting. Especially when there is a house full of people crying about how the like to eat dinner and have clean clothes.
Babies!

Anywhoo lets get to it. Lady Gaga.
I really don't know too much about her except that R & I love to sing "Let's Dance" at the top of our lungs in the car.
I started to love her because her date for the evening was Kermit the Frog. I have been wanting a date with him since 1977. Kudos to the best date 'o the night!
I can't with her fashion choices though:




In this look I think she is going for "herpes chic". Red, fiery hot, all encompassing and most importantly: itchy.
I don't get it, don't you want to be able to see? Anything?
This is bad. Really bad. Makes me long for the Bjork swan dress.
Imagine that walked down the catwalk on Project Runway? Michael Kors would sh*t himself.


Next we have a version of Hitchcock's "The Birds" being played out right upon her body. Well done Gaga- or Lady Khakah which is how I will be referring to you from now on.


Does she want to look like a robot? Or is that starry, far away look in her eyes just because she smoked something extra special backstage?
If that is the case, pass it over here.


Even though my Lady was wearing something around her face akin to a Lion's mane or maybe a family of porcupines were eating her, she still couldn't bring herself to look at Perez's yellow painted hands.
It is almost too much to bear for me. The jokes, the why's? they just keep coming.
Poor Beyonce.


SQUEAL! This is my FAVORITE. Okay, she is dressed like a hooker, but the best part is the dancer standing next to her- he is wearing a white lace thong as a surgical mask! LOVE!
Of course this scenario plays out in frat houses all across this great nation every day, but on stage- it is glorious.
Check out the guy behind him, he likes it even more than I do!


Do we have to talk about Kanye?
I am sure what a douchebacg he is has already been written a thousand times over already. He sucks and no matter how great a artist he may be he sure acts like a terrible person.

Lastly, I heard Janet Jackson was preparing for months to get this tribute out for Micheal. Um.
It looked like she spent 15 minutes rehearsing for a 2 minute dance routine. When the backup dancers ALL out perform Janet- it may be time to hang it up.