Where Are All The Lesbians And Why Don't They Love Me?

Thanks you guys for keep on keeping on reading this blog, and I know I haven't been commenting on your blogs lately, but I have been reading and I promise every comment that I get this whole week will get a quasi-witty comment back from me.
I swear on my lactating boobs.



E called me from his part time job yesterday to check in and make sure I have not killed anyone in this house under four feet.
I hadn't.

Anywhoo, this was our conversation:
E: " so this manager here keeps saying kind of, well, gay things to me"

Me: "gay as in happy! jovial! things or homosexual things?"

E: " well he just came back to where I am working and said 'Everything looks great back here, and so do the clothes' and yesterday he said 'how are you doing you tall, bald, sexy guy'"

Me: "hmm. Yup. That is gay alright, in both senses of the word."
"I wonder why no women ever hit on me. Fuck, could it be that I am not attractive to lesbians, because you know, I could be a lesbian! I have got the stuff and I know what to do with it, my friend!"

E (still trying to make it about him) "Maybe I can sue for sexual harassment and we can be rich! and have, you know, money and stuff!"

Me: "okay have a good rest of your day, I am going to see a lesbian about a horse..... or something, I WILL be attractive to lesbians by the days end!" "I am a faux-lesbian, hear me roar!"

E: (crushed because it always just has to be about him): "Okay. Goodbye."

Me: "byyyeeee!"