Friday, August 15, 2008

Where Are All The Lesbians And Why Don't They Love Me?

Thanks you guys for keep on keeping on reading this blog, and I know I haven't been commenting on your blogs lately, but I have been reading and I promise every comment that I get this whole week will get a quasi-witty comment back from me.
I swear on my lactating boobs.

E called me from his part time job yesterday to check in and make sure I have not killed anyone in this house under four feet.
I hadn't.

Anywhoo, this was our conversation:
E: " so this manager here keeps saying kind of, well, gay things to me"

Me: "gay as in happy! jovial! things or homosexual things?"

E: " well he just came back to where I am working and said 'Everything looks great back here, and so do the clothes' and yesterday he said 'how are you doing you tall, bald, sexy guy'"

Me: "hmm. Yup. That is gay alright, in both senses of the word."
"I wonder why no women ever hit on me. Fuck, could it be that I am not attractive to lesbians, because you know, I could be a lesbian! I have got the stuff and I know what to do with it, my friend!"

E (still trying to make it about him) "Maybe I can sue for sexual harassment and we can be rich! and have, you know, money and stuff!"

Me: "okay have a good rest of your day, I am going to see a lesbian about a horse..... or something, I WILL be attractive to lesbians by the days end!" "I am a faux-lesbian, hear me roar!"

E: (crushed because it always just has to be about him): "Okay. Goodbye."

Me: "byyyeeee!"


  1. Kristi6:15 PM

    Tell him just to sue for a fulltime job with benefits. Maybe if the mgr has a crush on him no lawsuit necessary!! YAY!

    Seriously, this is funny though

  2. I'll be a lesbian with you....

  3. krisit, we are 2 disturbed individuals.
    beth, best offer I have had all year!

  4. Kristi2:52 AM

    Hey, when life gets tough you gotta laugh, right?

    btw... I think you and E are amazing for handling all the stresses you've had lately. You've come through much better than I would have and I just think you two are perfect examples of what a marriage and parenting are about. Its always fun when life is easy, but it gets interesting when things get really tough.

    You should be very proud of yourself!

  5. Let's see, Kristi, Beth and Tuesday, the internet, lesbianism, E and his manager...I'm definitely see some opportunity to make some money. I hear there's big money to be made..."Three MILF's, one Husband and his Gay 'Manager'". Not sure what the target Demo is, but I'm sure there's money to be made with that video blog.

  6. My hubby would sooo change it off of him & be ALL OVER the whole lesbian thing. Oh, did I just out him?

  7. yeah, my hubby would forget the whole conversation once he heard "lesbian" . He would just be there with a grin on his face...."What were we talking about again?"

  8. Ha ha, I'm sure it's just a matter of time before a nice lesbian falls hard for you. Heartbreaker.

    [Hi, BHJ sent me :)]


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