Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The Talk

I always read above my grade level when I was in school. I was an avid reader and my parents loved it, little did they know it would be their downfall.
When I was 8 I was reading "Are You There God, It's me Margaret" By Judy Blume. All girls know this book it is about, basically, periods. I remember sitting in the backseat of my parent's car driving to my great Aunt's house for Easter dinner. I came on the word "menstruation". I didn't know what it meant so I asked my parents.
My father turned down the car radio and said "What did you say?"
"What does men-stru-ation mean?"
My parents looked at each other and my mom said " we will talk about it later"
"But how can I read this book, when they keep talking about menstruation, it PERTAINS TO THE STORY!"
"We can talk about it later!" my mom repeated.

I was pissed. She was ruining my book.

When we got home my mother called me into the living room and proceeded to have the most uncomfortable conversation I have ever had with her. I remember certain key words used "sperm" "eggs" and I remember asking how the sperm and egg met.
She didn't know what to say, I knew that by acting silly it was her out to abort this failing conversation.

That was my last sex talk with my mom. I did see the "movie" in fifth grade and my mom asked if I had any more questions, or if I understood the movie.
I let her off easy and didn't press it. I knew as much as I needed to know in fifth grade.

I am not sure how to talk about s-e-x with my kids. I hope I can be informative and comfortable and that my kids don't have to let me off easy. I hope they can ask me anything even if it makes us both uncomfortable. I jsut have no idea how to go about it, or when.

I want to hear about your first experience with "the talk". How did you tell your kids about sex and what did your parents do? Are you still waiting for your parents to give you the sex talk?

In the end, the real moral of the story is: read within your grade level.


  1. My mom has always been a modest woman. Hardly cusses, nothing like that. I can say that I do not remember my mom talking to me about sex. I do remember a brief talk about periods (and I do mean brief) and that was only b/c I was going to go away to summer camp & they were starting to show the movies in 5th grade. But what I learned about sex I learned from my trampy 13 & 14 year old girlfriends! lol

    Now my oldest is going into the 5th grade & just this year I had "the talk" with her about her period and what to expect. I showed her how to use a pad and let her know that its ok, its natural & we all get it. I told her what to do in the event she starts at school (thank god she usually wears jeans to school & their uniforms are blue bottoms!) and that the nurse will take care of her. I didn't, however, talk to her about s-e-x yet. She is REALLY innocent minded and my husband & I didn't see it as time, yet. But I do have books at home so when its time I'm ready!

  2. When I was about eleven my mom handed me a book from 1953. That was my talk.

    For my daughter it was a little different, the school had a talk but didn't tell the parents ahead of time. Serious. The next morning at breakfast she starts telling me about their talk. I was a little more than shocked.

  3. Sweetie, I turn 40 in November and I'm still waiting for the talk w/my Mom.
    Because of that, I had the "talk" w/my girls (now 10 & 15) early. I didn't beat around the bush. The period talk came even earlier especially when a girlfriend (a school nurse) told me some girls were coming to her thinking they were bleeding to death because their mothers never prepared them.

  4. Oh, don't worry. When your kids are ready to learn about sex, YouTube's successor will be able to teach them everything they never needed to know. :-)

  5. Are you there God...." was a crucial book during middle school. I learned more things in that book than from my mother!!

    "Where Did I Come From" was the book I read. It would have been more worth it if my parents went over the book with me. I can't recall anything more than reading it myself.....weird.

  6. sharing blogger love ...
    as one supporter of BLOG the Recession to another.

    I HOPE with all HOPE that I can be the MOM I should be when it comes to TALKING times! I think I still have a few years to prepare? My girly girls are 7 and soon to be 6.

  7. You know, I never got the talk. I think I learned it somewhere between my sisters & school. My mom just didn't have a comfort with those type of things & we just didn't. Maybe I should have read the book.

  8. I don't think my mom ever gave me the talk you're referring to. I always just knew about sex. When I was 12 though, she showed my how to use a pad. And she told me I should have sex before I got married. I'm so not playing. She also told me not to sleep with every "Tom, Dick, and Harry."

    When Noah was 4 he found a couple of our DVDs. I found him staring at the pictures. His eyes were like dinner plates. I had to explain it to him, then. With Tessa, I think she may have peeked into the bedroom late one night.

    I think the earlier you start teaching them about it, the easier it is. My husband and I don't hide our passion for each other. I mean, it's not like we're having sex in front of them. But we kiss and love on each other in front of the kids.

  9. My mom bought me a bunch of books about the male and female bodies to help with the talk. There was never a "talk," because she was bringing it up my whole life. I always knew the age appropriate things I needed to know because my mom kept me prepared. She didn't, however, appreciate it when I brought these books out at a sleepover.

  10. I had to laugh at this post because I was the same way, reading above my grade level. I remember reading that book and also "Forever" by Judy Blume also at too young of an age. My mom was horrified when she found out I had read it (a friend loaned me the book). That prompted the sex talk...it was not very detailed. She just gave me the basics and made it sound disgusting and so not fun. I remember her telling me specifically that it was messy.

    My older twins are 3, going on 4 very soon. They're already starting to ask questions about where babies come from. Yesterday my son told me that he's going to have 4 babies...he'll swallow them and then grow them in his belly. Then when his belly is really big, the doctor will cut them out and hand them to him. I'm in no hurry to correct him (or tell him that he won't be able to carry babies..LOL!)


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