Friday, February 20, 2009

A Life Given And One Restored

Having a baby again has awakened a part of me that sat dormant for years. Yes, I have two children who are now six and they have taken me to a whole new level of motherhood and parenting and just who are these people with their own thoughts and ideas?

The baby though, is so wonderful. He wants to touch everything. He wants to experience everything. It is so basic and raw I marvel at it.
I pick him up from his crib and although his eyes are barely open, he reaches for the bird on his wall. When I carry him around the house he stretches to touch the the sconces, the light switches, the loaf of bread on top of the refrigerator.
He wants to push the buttons on the phone, to sip from the cup I use.

He no longer wants to be a spectator at life, he wants to be a participant. He does not want to be in the walker, he wants to get out and push the walker, "look, he says, I am moving things with my own will, I can go places alone, I can put things where I want them! I am climbing the stairs like I have done in a hundred times, en though I have only been alive for 331 days, I am forging my own trail and the sky is the limit."

"Let me touch this mom" he says "I want to experience the sounds, the feeling, some things are soft and some things are cold, others are warm, I love to feel it all."
Everything is met with a serous look and then a smile. He is learning with every minute that passes, with everything he comes in contact with.

"I want to let you touch everything, little one." "I want to be the one to see your face when you see the snow for the first time, when you feel the bright green grass under your toes, when you experience what it is like to have sand slipping through your chubby fingers.
I want to life you high over my head just like in The Lion King and declare to the world This is my son and he is an amazing human being, he will change this world in so many ways and he will make it a better place. Then, I will whisper to you: this is your world, be kind to it and kindness will return to you, learn from it and never take it for granted, my love."

"I will be here when you feel the joy and sadness of your first love, I will be cheering for you when you hit your first home run, I will be loving you from a distance where ever this amazing life takes you."
"For now, little one, take my hand so I can steady you as you and I explore this wondrous world, it will not be long now when you don't need a steady hand any longer, but if you look behind you I will always be there to catch you."


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