Grandfathers

Losing a parent sucks, plain and simple. My father was so young when he died and had so little time to finish things or say goodbye. I am not sure why or who I blame that on but I am bitter. There are so many things I am bitter about.

Now that I have four days (OMG!) left before I have this baby, I miss my Dad more then ever. This is not the first grandchild born since my father died, my sister had a baby 2.5 years ago.
I remember that day so clearly. I was in the hospital with her and my mother and I decided to go across the street to the pharmacy and get some magazines and junk food. While I was in there I heard the song that was played at his funeral, a not very common song that I have never heard on the radio before or since but a few of my family members have heard it randomly played as well. I pushed back my tears in the far back corner of the store before my mom saw me. I knew it was my dad's way of telling me he was with my sister that day. I have never told anyone about that song, not even my sister.

I am hoping to have a similar sign when I have this baby. I know that he will be with me, but it would be nice to have some reassurance. I will miss his visit and pictures with him and this baby, but the baby will still be a little part of him. The baby and my twins will only know their grandfather through stories and tales and that sure is a huge loss for them. He was an amazing person who will be with all of us until it is our time to leave this Earth.
I just wish I had one more day.............................