Friday, April 03, 2009

To Be Saved

When we went back to New Jersey last weekend we were in our driveway putting our boxes of junk into the trailer. I noticed my old friends passed by on the sidewalk in front of our house.
They were my LDS friends that visited me every so often on a Saturday so they could save my soul.

I was always nice to them, I can imagine people's reactions to them on their doorstep. People probably slammed their door in their faces every day.
Pamphlets with Jesus' face on the cover scattered in the streets sometimes, leftovers from when people didn't open their doors to them.
I was fascinated. Mormons/LDS is intriguing to me, I assume because there are few Mormon churches in NJ coupled with my adoration for the show Big Love (how great is Big Love?).

Truth is, I don't think I believe in religion anymore. What little faith I did have was lost when my father died.
I don't want to go to church, I don't want to pray to someone only when my times are tough and I don't want to be a hypocrite to my children.

The last time I saw my visitors I explained that I was moving in a couple of weeks. They wished me well and went on their way. In some way I wished I had more time with them. I do not want to become a Mormon, or a Buddhist or a baptist for that matter, I just wanted to understand how they could be so devoted.
How they could wrap their minds around the tragedies all around us, every single day and still believe.
I want to know why they care enough to walk around the streets in the winter to knock on people's doors to try and save a perfect strangers soul.
I want to ask them just what is so great about religion anyway? Religion is the cause of wars!

I will miss my weekend visits with my Mormon friends.
Or maybe, just maybe, I just wanted to be saved.


  1. Per Homer Simpson: Religion, like alcohol, is the cause and cure for all our problems.

  2. I have a lot of those same questions!

  3. Anonymous4:39 PM

    I love reading your blog Tuesday. I am a Mormon, and I really think it is awesome that you did not slam the missionaries..thats great!!

  4. Honey, I'm in Utah so I'm surrounded by the LDS. I was raised LDS. It's a wonderful organized religion for family values and for general hope and positive spirts. I always make it a point to wave to the missionaries out here when I see them or buy their lunch if I can.

    P.S.: The plural marriage out here? It exists, but they aren't Mormons. For the most part, they all look like the blonde wife from Big Love. They're always at Costco buying in bulk.

  5. Mostly, what keeps me going? The belief that there is life after death, and that I'll see my friends and family again.

  6. I go to church rather regularly, but I simply find that I don't 'get it.' I think I want to get it. Most of the time, I want to. I think. I'm having one of those 'don't care' moments in life, really. Anyway, I have friends in the church who absolutely do 'get it' and live it and are amazing examples of it, and I don't know what it is I'm doing differently, but I'm often times inspired by them and their willingness to be so open and accepting. That's when I really wish I 'got it' without so much darkness in my head.

  7. My sister works with a lot of mormons at a well known bookstore franchise. She, too, has been fascinated by their amount of faith. I think it's the community that's fascinating, their a close knit community that help support each other 150%. I admire that aspect of the mormon community, however, over the years she's told me about those that leave the LDS church...and when they leave that's it. Until they come back to the church they're ostracized from the church and it's community (this is my personal opinion of watching their behavior). And that's where I have an you love and support each other only as long as you belong to the church. And that's why I have an issue with more organized religion. Can't we all believe what we believe and love each other for our differences?

  8. I love your replies! Keep them coming!

  9. It will come to you eventually, one way or another. And there will be a time in your when your inner strength (faith) will surface......and you had no idea it was there.

    When it does, you will be so surprised at the sence of peace you will feel.

    I wish you peace...................

  10. In response to Monkey Girl (who's name ROCKS, can I just tell ya?), I don't think that people that leave a group, say a religion, are necessarily ostracized by the religion. (Though certainly, and sadly, sometimes they are.)

    Generally, what I've seen, and what I've experienced myself, is that when someone decides they no longer want to be Mormon, or Catholic, or Presbyterian (did I spell that right?), they are very adamant about it. So they ostracize the religious group. They might show up to a gathering of *insert religion here* friends, and talk badly about the religion, or just refuse any invitation at all.

    And in the case of Mormons, we're kinda damned if we do, damned if we don't. If I try to be friends with someone and merely mention I'm Mormon, that must mean I'm trying to convert them. When in reality, I just want that person to be happy, and I'm not too interested in converting anyone.

    I'm not saying that all Mormons are like that, I've been "looked down on" by not being "Mormon enough" or sometimes by being "too Mormon". But me, I'll answer questions when asked. I volunteer the fact that I'm Mormon, or LDS, and that's about it.

    My faith is just that. Mine. And what works for me might not work for you, but that doesn't mean we can't share and learn from each other.

    for the record, I drink caffeine, I cuss (a lot), and I'm by no means perfect (I don't even like UTAH). But I try my best, I love my husband, and my kid, and I like me how I am. I wouldn't have me any other way.

  11. Anonymous9:32 PM

    Second time I have tried to post lol...I want to say that I am a lot ike MJ...I too drink diet coke, I cuss, but without a doubt I love my husband and children with all my heart, and would do anything for anyone, I believe in helping my fellow neighbor and man...and even if I wasn't Mormon, I would be like this, as I am sure the women that post on here would be, as I am sure Tuesday would be too:)

  12. Anonymous9:32 PM

    By the way, my name is Colleen, and I live in Southern California

  13. Interesting post. I questioned God and religion after my son had his stroke. I didn't and still don't understand why some families are chosen to have such heartache. How could their be a superior entity that allows such tragedy? Then again I have always believed there has to be a higher power, and I still pray. The only thing that really drove me crazy was hearing, "God will only give you what you can handle". It doesn't say that ANYWHERE in the bible, and I was at my max about 15 months ago. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I truly enjoyed reading your blog!


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