Monday, August 16, 2004

Depressed

E thinks I am depressed. Clinically depressed.
He confronted me last night. He said I had all the symptoms, that he had even verified it with his doctors.
I denied it, I said I was just tired, I was stressed, it was just a bad time, but then I looked at his face. It was filled with sadness and love. I couldn't deny it anymore.
Then I cried.

I went on the computer and looked up "signs of depression". I just stared at the screen, I didn't even blink.
I had most of the symptoms.

I guess I haven't dealt with my Father's death completely & in a healthy way. I don't want to hurt my family any more.
I will find a doctor today & get help. Help I cannot give myself even though I have tried.
Tried so hard.
I am just to tired to try anymore.

5 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this. Good luck and I pray total happiness is just around the corner for you.

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  2. It's not the end of the world! It's just a bump in the road and you can do it!

    I watched the death of a parent eat away at a good friend of mine for three years. I didn't do anything because I didn't know what to do. I didn't even really know that it was going on.

    Then she got it together one day back in May, found a doctor, got medicine, started seeing a therapist, and let me tell you, 100% different person. She is wonderful. And I am so happy for her.

    You're going to be fine. You are very lucky to have friends like E. It takes a lot of courage to step forward like that.

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  3. I sure you will find and get the help you need then you will be able to move on. It breaks my heart though to see you go through this- I am cheering for you over here!

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  4. Been there. Therapy is so helpful when you have a good therapist. Sometimes you need meds. Sometimes you don't. Acknowledging it is the first step. Good for you for taking it. It can only get better from here.

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  5. Have you been to the doc yet? A low dose of antidepressants for a little while may give you the "kickstart" you need. You have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately.

    Your husband is such a great and supportive man. You'll be OK.

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