Monday, August 16, 2004


E thinks I am depressed. Clinically depressed.
He confronted me last night. He said I had all the symptoms, that he had even verified it with his doctors.
I denied it, I said I was just tired, I was stressed, it was just a bad time, but then I looked at his face. It was filled with sadness and love. I couldn't deny it anymore.
Then I cried.

I went on the computer and looked up "signs of depression". I just stared at the screen, I didn't even blink.
I had most of the symptoms.

I guess I haven't dealt with my Father's death completely & in a healthy way. I don't want to hurt my family any more.
I will find a doctor today & get help. Help I cannot give myself even though I have tried.
Tried so hard.
I am just to tired to try anymore.


  1. I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this. Good luck and I pray total happiness is just around the corner for you.

  2. It's not the end of the world! It's just a bump in the road and you can do it!

    I watched the death of a parent eat away at a good friend of mine for three years. I didn't do anything because I didn't know what to do. I didn't even really know that it was going on.

    Then she got it together one day back in May, found a doctor, got medicine, started seeing a therapist, and let me tell you, 100% different person. She is wonderful. And I am so happy for her.

    You're going to be fine. You are very lucky to have friends like E. It takes a lot of courage to step forward like that.

  3. I sure you will find and get the help you need then you will be able to move on. It breaks my heart though to see you go through this- I am cheering for you over here!

  4. Been there. Therapy is so helpful when you have a good therapist. Sometimes you need meds. Sometimes you don't. Acknowledging it is the first step. Good for you for taking it. It can only get better from here.

  5. Have you been to the doc yet? A low dose of antidepressants for a little while may give you the "kickstart" you need. You have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately.

    Your husband is such a great and supportive man. You'll be OK.


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