Thursday, April 13, 2006

Observations

A couple observations I have made over the past few days:

I decided after a morning buying in bulk, that B.J's is a great place to meet Moms. They were out in full force trying to buy tampons, diapers and snacks in bulk. I should put together a club of all Moms who shop in bulk. Together we can save the world one 382 case of hot dogs at a time.

I am so super excited to see that Banana Republic now sells things in a size double 0. All my friends and I are swimming in the plain old size 0, now we finally have a company who doesn't care that a average woman is a size 12, and gives us the double zero.
Barf.

Carseats should come with an eject button. Not for the tiny infants but for the older kids like mine. Upon pressing this button the seatbelts would disengage and lift the kids up and out of the seat into a standing position in the car.
This would save my nails and back from quite a bit of pain.
Get me on American Inventor, I will wow them with this one.

Houses should also come with eject buttons so, say, if your in-laws were over and they made you hate them you can just eject them back to where they came. Much like the seats on the MTV game show, Remote Control
I would use this feature religiously.

Minivans should come with bumperstickers that say "please don't judge me because I have more then 1.5 kids and I need the space of a minivan and if they made SUVs more affordable and easier for people that have more then 1.5 kids, I wouldn't be driving this big van that looks like a whale anyway".
I don't own a minivan, but that is where I see myself headed, if I want any more kids. I judged these minivan driving people and I swore I would *never* be those women, and now God is going to give me back my evil karma in the form of a whale.

I hate people who bring their 4 month old to sing a longs at pottery barn kids and then sit in front of my 3 year olds and pretend not to hear when my children say "Mommy that lady is blocking me and now I can't see".
Please.

13 comments:

  1. I also want eject buttons on my kids' beds. Or those George Jetson Pop-Up-Toaster-Beds!

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  2. They have size double 0?? Who in the hell can where that?? My four year old maybe :)

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  3. Amen to all of that.

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  4. ha! when i read what you wrote i thought, 'good god! she AND her friends are double zeros? good for her!' and then i realized you were being sarcastic. :)

    my brain hurts.

    xx

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  5. LOL - Great post!

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  6. lol..I agree with everything you say...too funny. oh and double zero??!! that's insane!

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  7. Double zero? I just can't even comment on that one.

    Maybe if they complain loud enough and adds a "How rude!" at the end, it would help? Maybe not.

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  8. Car seats with eject buttons- can I market it with you? I hate all the trouble we have to go through with these "big kid" car seats!
    And a big F*** YOU to Banana Republic. I have never fit into a zero because of my "spanish hips/ass", so double zero can kiss my spanish ass!

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  9. Double 0? That's why I never shop at Banana Republic! I have a minivan and I'd like a bumper sticker that says
    Think I'm Old? I speed all the time and good luck trying to pass me because I love that you can't see around my tank and if you swerve I'll swerve too so you can't see what's coming! How do You like THEM apples?!

    BTW: I tagged you! You'll have to read your mission on my blog.

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  10. and just TRY to buy any size over a 4 at J.Crew!

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  11. Frickin' BR, I may boycott.

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  12. My good friend is a mommy and also a 00- I'll have to let her know that Banana Republic carries them now- I, unfortunately, am well above a 00- LOL- more along the lines of somewhere between a 5 and a 7- thanks to post pregnancy weight.

    And also, AMEN to the eject buttons- carseats, houses- they should have em on lines at Wal-Mart- so you can eject that annoying person behind you who insists on standing thisclose to your butt and back. I actually had a kid TOUCHING MY BUTT the entire time on line- nothing made him stop- glaring, moving, kicking (softly of course). I am a FIRM believer in personal space. Why is no one I am on line in front of also?

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  13. I'm with you on everything here. Especially the 00 thing. I mean, don't the double-zeros of the world have like a bulimathon or something to be attending? Do they REALLY need to be next to me in the changing room at Banana Republic (where I only go because the 12s are like 4ss there).

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