Thursday, July 05, 2007

Camping? Camp Not!

I married a camper. Yes, it is hard to believe that a high maintenance girl like myself married, let alone dated, a full blown hiking, camping, mountain man.
Alas I did, and as of today, two weeks shy of being with E for 11 years (what?), I have never relented on the camping ideas.
He has been camping many, many times over the years without me. He even goes here every year with all the other granola, more-then-slightly-dirty hippies. I get some peer pressure to go camping! we'll rent a cabin, it will be so. much. fun.

I don't buy it for a second.
I can get that it would be fun at night, I like the idea of the campfire, smores, roasting hot dogs, telling ghost stories and all of that. Then my mind wanders to the facts that I will have to pee and maybe even poop outside, snakes, the cold, the heat, and the plain old boredom during the day. I mean after a hike and/or fishing really what is left to friggin do?

People built houses so they didn't have to live in tents. That tells me right there how great tents are. I do not care that E has a 67 person tent with a living room or whatever unless it comes with a flat screen, Tivo and a hot tub. Living in my own filth for days is not fun, nor is it a vacation.
Well, it is a vacation from being clean and having comforts. I mean we pay a lot of money for this house with its "things" like beds and a potty, why leave it to sleep on the hard ground?

I wonder how long I can put off camping. E wants to take the kids and I am not too sure about him going alone with the kids. I mean bears and snakes and all.
I am just buying time for now, I will end up going I am sure sooner then later. E knows he is in for it because I am just thinking about the industrial sized antibacterial everything I am going to be purchasing.
On the up side though, think of the pictures and what I would have to write about!


  1. Every once in awhile I get this thought about how much fun it would be to go we could actually afford a vacation if we camped.

    Then I snap back to reality because I think of how awful it would be to be zipped into a nylon tent with a toddler during a rainstorm. Thanks, I'll stay home.

  2. What's with guys thinking it's more fun to drink and sleep outside where there's no shower or electricity??

  3. Yeah, I agree with the nice thought of s'mores and campfires and all that stuff, but I can't get over the part where you have to pee and poop in the woods. Not.Happening.

  4. I am not the outdoorsy type either. I don't do bugs, snakes, plants, tents and all the happy horseshit that goes along with camping. I am much more of a hotel kinda girl. Although, I don't know if you're watching Man vs. Wild on Discovery (Friday nights at 8 I think). The host, Bear Grylls, is about as Grape Nuts as they come, but he is damned good to look at. I'd go camping in his forest anyday. If I wasn't already married, of course.

  5. oh shoot, I am SO NOT a camper. Love the fire, and the 'smores and all that crap...I even like cooking over a fire, but I want that fire to be in my backyard so that I can get in my own bed, in my house, at night.

    not a camper either!


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