Thursday, September 04, 2008

You Can Have Everything If You Let Yourself Be

Wasn't it just yesterday that I drove my twins home from the hospital at a snails pace? How could it be that I just let my five year old children board a bus to take them to a far off, wondrous place known as kindergarten?

I didn't want to send them today.
Everything inside of me was yelling, "no, this is not right your babies should be with you, who has nurtured them every day of their lives, not in the hands and care of strangers".
How could I trust virtual strangers with my most precious possessions? Would they take care of them and hold them lightly but strong enough not to let them falter?
Would they know how much these twins need each other for support? Will they nurter their minds while letting their imaginations soar? Will they treat them as their own?

How does a mother let go of their child's small hand so they can dip their toe in the ocean of the world, when all they want to do is scoop them into her arms and lay under the safety of a tree and just be?
If I didn't let go now, would I ever be able to?
So silly of me to fret over my children being gone three hours from my care, but those three hours are special and those precious hours will be making memories that I will not be in.

These are my lovely, sweet babies, no matter how old they will become, so I will do what every mother does:
I will send them to school. I will walk them to the bus, I will place them in the care of others and I will watch as the bus drives away.
And I will hold my tears until they are in the distance, crying for the little babies that once were and for the amazing people I know they will become.

post signature


  1. This was truly a sweet and touching post. My oldest is only three and a half and it is so strange to me that he has his own little life away from me while he's at pre-school. Friends, activities and other things. I love it and mourn it simultaneously.

  2. That was beautiful! It is hard to know that we can't be there for every one of our child's moments!!

  3. Awwah! Perfect picture to go with the post.

  4. I'll add my voice to the beautiful nature of this post.

    It's still hard for me to watch them go off, and they've (sigh) moved well beyond 3, but wow, how fun to see what they're becoming!

    (love this photo!)

  5. isn't it rough to watch them walk away?!
    How full of stories were they when they returned...they must have had so much to say.

  6. I feel a little luckier now, at least I get to walk my son to kindergarten. 10 minutes of hand holding and talking. Having to put him on a bus would suck.

  7. What a sweet post!! And definitely a bittersweet milestone, isn't it? It's funny how we look forward to the next stage but there's always some grieving involved and realizing that our babies are growing up!

    Love the pic of them holding hands!


Talk to me