File Under: GROSS

The Jones Soda Co. came out with a holiday pack of five flavors - turkey and gravy, cranberry, mashed potato and butter, green bean casserole, and fruitcake. Gross. Please someone get this & tell me if it truly tastes like a meal.

OH Mr. Sun

Why can't the sun shine here in NJ more then 4 hours at a time? I feel like we live in a cage. It is starting to affect my mood.

Desperado Housewives

Did you see the show on Sunday? Great, I called that old lady being the one who wrote the letter. I also call Rex is gay. How good was Felicity Haufman's scene, that is exactly how I feel sometimes. Just getting up & leaving the kids. I guess that is how every mother feels sometimes. Anyway it is a great show.

Desperado Housewives

Did you see the show on Sunday? Great, I called that old lady being the one who wrote the letter. I also call Rex is gay. How good was Felicity Haufman's scene, that is exactly how I feel sometimes. Just getting up & leaving the kids. I guess that is how every mother feels sometimes. Anyway it is a great show.

Deperado Housewives

Did you see the show on Sunday? Great, I called that old lady being the one who wrote the letter. I also call Rex is gay. How good was Felicity Haufman's scene, that is exactly how I feel sometimes. Just getting up & leaving the kids. I guess that is how every mother feels sometimes. Anyway it is a great show.

Did Anyone Miss Me?

Well it finally happened. My computer blew the fuck up. On Friday it just ceased working, nothing, kaput, a blank slate. I cried a little. The last thing I wanted to do was buy a new computer before Christmas, and I don't want a computer to be my present. I like to think of a purchase of that caliber a "household purchase".
I am sad for my old computer which was only four years old. I am sad for the pictures that are on their that I cannot retrieve. Or can you? Does anyone know what the cost is to bring the computer to one of those geeks at best buy or somewhere & have them look at it & possible retrieve pictures?

I tried all of my tricks (2) to get it back but no such luck, E took me out yesterday to buy a new computer. On a good note, I am the proud owner of a new 17 inch flat panel, which I love.
Other then that life was uneventful. Turkey day was go, my Mom, sister & nephew came down for 2 days this weekend and we got a good deal of Christmas shopping done. I still have more to do though.

When E was dismantling the old computer he said "shame, lot of good blogs written on this computer." Very cute coming from him, he wouldn't know a blog if it punched him in the eye.

FYI, I am sick. Please feel free to send chicken soup.

Gobble

Happy Turkey Day!

Today I am Thankful for:

My Family
my babies
our new house
my health
good friends
Tivo
the yummy dinner I am preparing by myself
my life

The Day Has Come

I have been dreading this day since I learned about it in my 7th grade cooking class. It is the day I found teeny bugs in my flour. WTF? My flour is in a airtight container and it isn't that old. Also, please, I keep a clean house. Very clean. Friggin nasty ass bugs. Now I have to haul my ass to the store for flour, the day before Thanksgiving. That is a death sentence.

Also I feel like I am getting sick. Not good. I sent E for Baja Fresh which could be the only thing to turn my cold around. Mass amounts of guacamole. Didn't you ever hear of feed a fever? or a cold? or something?

Dear Lady.........

Dear Lady,

Your silver sequin newsboy cap is not in. In fact, it was never in. I understand you think it is just awesome because it matches your sequined studded leather fanny sack, but it is not great.
I will go out on a limb and assume that if it was in Shop Rite wouldn't be the location for such a ensemble either.

Consider yourself in the know.
Love, Me

P.S. Get your fucking cart out of the middle of the aisle, there are other people in the world besides you, and I am sure, your 184 cats.

Enough Already

I decided we have taken this "lets put everything that was ever once on TV and sell it on dvd" craze when I saw the Golden Girls box set. Really, the Golden Girls? Does anyone need to have this archived in their home? Can't you just watch Lifetime network to get your doses of reruns?

Speaking of the Golden Girls, I have 3 close friends and one of them pointed out that when we get old we will be just like the Golden Girls. Minus us all living in a home together and plus, I assume, more incontinence. Anyway, I was told I am Bea Arthur, because I am the tallest. Boy, does that shed rain on your parade, imagining yourself growing old to be like Bea Arthur. Not the most welcoming of thoughts.

It could be worse, I could have been elected as the slut.

I Will Admit it

As I type there is a 12 foot inflatable snowman in our yard. It's official, Tuesday has started celebrating the holidays.

I am extremely tired today, my insomnia is really starting to piss me off. I informed my household that my lack of sleep can be used against them today, so to watch their step. The babies seemed very concerned. Not.
Speaking of my beautiful children, I can hardly believe that they are now 22 months old. In two short months they will be 2. Official toddlers. Terrible twos times two. I am in for a heap of trouble.

I have to go to the grocery store today & I know that this is the worst week in the world to even attempt to go to the grocery store. I will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my family of four on Thursday. We will spend a nice quiet day at home filled with good food, parades and football.
You really can't beat that.

Hellloooo

Where is everyone today? It is so boring today in blog city.

F- You!

Dear Directv,

I really tried to enjoy you lately, I haven't been cursing you and your shotty customer service out, I haven't been wishing you eternal bankruptcy like I used to. Last night was the final straw though, your local service went out at 8:30 to 9:40pm causing me to miss the end of Survivor and the entire Apprentice.
Now I have no water cooler banter to exchange with others this morning (the babies) and I have to anti-climactically look up the endings on the internet. Why couldn't this happen during an endless football game?
You are now officially fucking with my Thursday night line up and you should never, ever do that.

Don't let this happen again or I will be forced to shoot your entire company the evil eye and a personal friend of this here blog is an employee of that company, and I wouldn't want to have to get him involved.

Just concentrate on your satellite and stop fucking around,
With Malice and bad intent,
Tuesday

Signs

I have always been interested in stories of people who say that their loved one gives them "signs' that they are ok, after they pass. I never knew if it was wishful thinking or if it was true, that our loved ones watched over us and gave us signs that they were there. I looked for definite signs of my own. I haven't seen any.

Yesterday I was watching the psychic, Sylvia Brown on TV yesterday, and someone asked if her loved ones were around her. Sylvia told her yes, that they even play with her hair, the lady seemed to think this made sense and was satisfied. I started thinking about the ladybugs I have been finding lately. Last week I found one in my room, two weeks ago I found one in my living room and just a couple of days ago as I was sitting outside one landed on my arm. I thought it was a little strange because it seems too cold now for ladybugs. But who knows, I am not an expert, right?

So I was thinking maybe they are my sign, so I tested it. I told myself if I found a ladybug right now, then I know it was my Dad telling me he is ok and he is with me. I went into the family room because I have plants in there and windows so I thought that is where I would be if I was a ladybug. No such luck. No ladybugs.
Baby B wanted to be picked up so I carried her to the front of the house & we decided to open the front door for E, because he was due home.
There it was on the front screen..... A ladybug. It took my breath away. Then I looked down at the mat outside the door that the previous owners had left. It had ladybugs on it.

So you tell me, do you think it is a sign? Is it wishful thinking? If it makes me feel better then does it matter?

Top 10 Greatest Smells

They say smell, out of all the senses, is the one that triggers memory the most. It definitely does for me. The first warm day in spring when you can open all the windows in your house, brings me back to being a teenager, in my bedroom feeling melancholy. The smell of leather reminds me of my first boyfriends new car. Drakkar cologne reminds me of my Dad.
So I decided to make a top 10 list of my favorite smells, the ones that have the best memories for me:

10) Fresh cut grass
9) Old books (There is something comforting about the smell, like your grandparents house)
8) lilacs
7) a Fire in the Fireplace
6) puppy breath
5) the store smell on your new clothes (new school clothes)
4) a new box of crayons
3) those markers from grammar school, the ones that smell like fruits
2) play doh ( I know you liked the smell so much that at least once in your life you tried to taste it)
1) baby
EDIT: Mona reminded me of a great smell:
11) New pool toys otherwise known as plastic (In my house we call that smell "baby dolls at Christmas")

Good Call Dummy

If you were rich and pseudo-famous and wanted to get plastic surgery wouldn't you get the best one money could buy? I do not know a lot about breast implants, because God has amply blessed me, but I think the ol' cut around the areola-stuff it in-sew back on technique went out with the multi colored Louis Vuitton purses.
But, I could be wrong it has been known to happen.
In case you are not yet acquainted with Tara Reid's left breast, here you go: http://lightbox.retna.com/retna/kf_TaraReid35thDress_1105/index.html

Is anyone else sick of hearing about Star Jones' wedding? Enough. Today I was listening with half an ear to the View and was sick to hear her yelling at her friends for bringing a camera to the wedding when they were told not to, and changing seating arrangements so they could sit next to their friends. I am also sick of hearing her weezy breathless self talk about her gay new husband. ENOUGH.

Am I Done yet?

Are we all tired of the boo whooing I have been doing lately on here?
I think I need to let out my inner demon and bitch more.
What do you think?




P.S. Big Baby Jesus is dead. Now what? R.I.P: ODB

Xmas

As many of you know, I lost my Father to cancer in February of this year. This is becoming the hardest part of the year, even harder then right after he died because of the upcoming holidays. Not only that, but it was the week after Thanksgiving last year when my Dad called me and told me he was "bloated" and not feeling right. Those thoughts are constantly in my mind these days, consuming my every last thought. I decided to stay home for Christmas and ride out the sorrow and complete despair I feel for the sake of the rest of my family who would like to be with my children for the holidays.

Today I emailed my step-mother to see what my brother & sister would like for Christmas, and what she wrote back to me broke my heart. She does not want to buy or have anyone else buy anything for her & the kids for Christmas. She wants to escape it all in Disney and just get them gifts from Santa. That makes my heart hurt. I am so sad for her and for my sister and brother, who have to spend their entire lives without my Dad.
I will get them gifts and wrap them in non-holiday paper and give it to them in the new year.

We will celebrate 2005 and pray for a better year, because nothing could be as bad as 2004.

Scott Peterson Has Been Found Guilty...

......well duh!

I am Mad and Sad

On Thursday E told me he had to work on Saturday so we wouldn't be able to take the kids to gymboree. I said "ok, that stinks, but maybe my Mom will come down and hang out". Well my Mom can't because she has to watch my nephew and last night E springs it on me that he has to work both Saturday & Sunday. I was pissed. Ok, so he does have a new job but he never said "hey this new job pays me more but I have to work 55 hours a week." because if he did, I would have said it is not worth it.
Now before you get on my case, I understand he is the sole breadwinner and I understand the burden of being the only income earner in our house, but he wanted kids as much as I did and if I had to work the cost of two babies in day care here is $2k a month, that would be 80% of my salary. It wouldn't have been worth it. Since he has started this job he went away for 6 days, had 4 business dinners and now is working this entire weekend. He has only had this job for 1 month. Today I know he had to be there at 10am, and the place is 1 hour away. He left at 7:30am and won't be back until 6:30, that is a long day to be alone with 21 month old twins. We had a fight last night that was bad and he didn't come to bed last night. I don't know how much longer I can do this. My back has spasms I am so stressed out. I have nothing to do all weekend. I have no friends or family here, I have no fun, I have no stress release. My entire day revolves around E getting home so I can talk to an adult.I could drive the 1.5 hours to my hometown but a lot of my friends and family work on Saturday and really it is not fair to keep the kids out all day like that when they have a schedule they have to stick to, or I pay the price.
I can't afford to go shopping or get a manicure or pedicure. There is just nothing for me to do and I am sinking into this deep depression that I am frightened of.
I am so sad today and I am hurt.
I am sure this post is a big ramble.