Monday, January 02, 2006

Here's to Health in 2006

I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Years. I am finally feeling better, not 100% but better. Baby B seems to be much better, her day was spent ordering E and I around, fighting with her brother and just general crying. Baby A is now sick with a bad cough and low fevers. I think he is improving though, but his darn cough keeps him up all night, poor guy.Since we were all sick besides E, we sat at home for New Years Eve and did nothing, as usual. I actually have not left the house since last Thursday. I actually have no desire to leave, but I know I will be hitting the grocery store tomorrow at least.

The wake and funeral was fine, I was somewhat detached to my Grandmother by then, because she was sick for so long and also had alzheimers. It was strange though because my Mother and her family had a big fight about 9 years ago and they all stopped speaking to my Mom. Ironic really because they did need her to help with my grandmother when she got sick and then I guess it was ok to speak to her. My cousins and I were VERY close and when this all happened they didn't let us see our cousins. So it has been about 9 years since seeing them last and they were all grown up and looked like adults instead of the little kids that they were last I saw them.Strange. My Aunts and Uncles acted like nothing was out of the ordinary and like we were all the perfect little family of yesteryear. Which was fine by me because I didn't want confrontation and the kids, meaning us, should havenever been dragged into it in the first place.
God, grown ups are so clueless sometimes.

Wakes are strange, the whole ritual thing. The flowers and saying goodbye and having the casket open. I felt removed and that was sad for me, but no matter how hard I tried I just wasn't sad. I will miss my Grandmother but she hadn't been "my Grandmother" in years. I felt sad for my Mother because now she has no parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles living. That must be weird, even her ex-husband is dead.

Getting old just sucks.
Good thing I haven't aged a bit in 10 years!

1 comment:

  1. Funerals are the worst. Glad you made it through it ok.


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