Friday, July 07, 2006

Great Mom Expectations

Thank you to everyone who wants to be my new friend. I have many available positions, so I will be able to make all of you my friends.

Writing the post on not having friends here made me think of all the expectations that I had before I went on maternity leave and had to move an hour south from my hometown. Like how great of a Mom I would be and how I would cook every night and never ever complain because I got to stay at home! I would have a "school lesson" every day! No more dressing up for work! Playdates will be plentiful!

I could not have been in for a more rude awakening.
It is hard being a Mother and it is a lonely job. That, is what nobody ever tells you.
I do complain because if I didn't vent I would have exploded by the third month of momdom.
I thought making friends with kids would be a lot easier, I thought playdates would be like my lunch dates at work, thrown at me left and right, never having to eat by myself. I thought I would be the popular Mom, because I was the popular friend, schoolmate and co-worker my entire life.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother to these two wonderful children, I love them more then I could ever express. They saved my life, and for that I could never repay them.
It was just that my expectations of being a stay at home Mother were so different then reality, that I wondered if I was delusional.
I now think that I was expecting too much from myself because I so wanted to be that perfect wife and Mother, not remembering that there is no such thing, that we all are out there trying our best and our kids are always our first priority.

We are all in the same boat whether you work outside of the home or inside, we do all have the same goals and wants for our children. I just wish we didn't bash each other for our choices so much and celebrated that we are able to make these choices for ourselves and our family.
If we women could get our act together, we could really fix this world.
But, I digress.

I may not take the kids to scheduled activities every day, and I may cook dinner only 90% of the time and our financial sacrifices may be greater then ever expected on one salary, at the end of the day, to forget all my worries and that huge mess still left to clean, I can still make a mean drink.

And really, isn't that what it is all about anyway?


  1. A rude awakening is the perfect description... we put such high expectations on ourselves... like it is job and we can excel with enough hard work. HA! you've got the right idea... we do our best.

  2. Unfortunately, no amount of "warning" would have prepared you, me or anyone else on how hard things can be as a Mom. All we can do after the fact is admit they were right, eat our humble pie, tuck in the kids and pour ourselves that mean drink.

    I wish everyone I knew through blogging lived next door to me.

  3. I wholeheartedly matter if you're stay at home or work outside, biological mother or adoptive, being a mother is HARD, and all that bickering of the 'best way to raise kids' should be stopped. The Community of Motherhood means we do the best we can and look forward to that beer when the kids are in bed, even if we only get through half the bottle before we nod off.


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