Monday, July 24, 2006

The One Where I Vent

I will start off saying, I know there are far more better things to complain about and I shouldn't be venting about a luxury so few people in this world are able to enjoy, but let us remember this is my blog.
And I'll cry if I want to.

I really need a break, a vacation, a holiday, a getaway and I need it soon.

If you remember, E & I were going to spend 5 days in the Bahamas in early April and E's parents were going to come here to watch the kids for us, so it can be a "real" vacation.
Then we were brought back into reality and how fucked we sometimes get, with my delightful cancer journey.
So the trip was off, because my surgeon's first available appointment was that particular week, and if you are told you have cancer, you don't want to wait to get out every single bad cell as soon as possible.
Plus, what kid of vacation would it be if I had to worry about coming home to have surgery?

So when I finally recovered, the money allocated for a small vacation was spent, I am sure on something trivial, like food or clothing.

Now we are in desperation phase and I need some time away, and it doesn't look like I am going to get it any time soon.
I am tired of parenting all day every day, I want to reprogram myself and relax for a couple of days without worrying about two other small people and if they have eaten/pooped/slept. I have done that with no more then a 8 hour break for three and a half years.

If you worked at a job like that, you would come in one day firing a gun, and that is what I am trying to avoid.
Going on a break would be what is best for the kids, E & I but right now financially, especially with the kids starting preschool in a month, we cannot afford it, and we don't have anyone to watch the kids anyway.

That is my bitch of the day, and it sucks that I am starting the week off like this, but this is how I feel this morning.


  1. If you find a vacation spot that doesn't eat away the kids' college funds, for the loveofgod, let me know!

    I think I might just take a week off and stay in a hotel with a pool here in town...if the pools weren't always full of splashing pre-pubs escaping their parents' room.

  2. Anonymous12:40 PM

    Bitch away - I know how you feel and it sucks!

  3. Amen to that! I would love a vacation of just the two of us. My problem is no one wants to watch the 3 kids for an extended amount of time. I completely know what you mean though!

  4. wow, i totally understand...
    i am having the hardest time just getting a WEEKEND completely alone with my S.O. and we both have to share our kids with our ex's, so it shouldn't be IMPOSSIBLE! should it? (sorry, i was on a roll).
    i wish i could help.
    bring 'em to my place.

  5. I know where you are coming from...about needing a vacation and some time where you aren't responsible for anyone but yourself. Is it possible for your IL's to come and take the kids for a weekend so that you and hubby can have the weekend at home to yourself? It's not a vacation away persay but it would give you some alone time for yourself and time to reconnect with your hubby.

    It's just a thought and even if you eat out all weekend it would be cheaper than a hotel stay.

    Good Luck and my thoughts are with you.

  6. I feel for you, I really do...I have only been doing it for seven months and I have days where I feel like taking to the roof with a shotgun. Three and a half years...and with two yet! I can't even imagine.

  7. It definitely husband just said to me last night "we need a night out". I'll take just a night. We live in the same house and I feel like I never see him!

  8. I don't know if this is an option for you, but we have on 2 separate occasions shipped our twins off to their grandparents for a week. We did go off and have a vacation requiring money, but maybe you could just ship them off and spend time alone with your hubby at home. Sometimes those are the best vacations anyway.

    Just a thought. Sorry you're feeling run down. Hope you feel some relief soon! :-)


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