Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Everything To Lose

Oh my god what am I going to do? Here it is six month after E was fired by that bitch of a boss and he still has not received one job offer. Hundreds of resumes sent, dozens of interviews and phone interviews. Despite all of his experience, nothing.
All of a sudden unemployment was cut off because they "do not have enough funds to extend it". Now we are going to lose everything.

We will lose our house, our cars and everything. It is only a matter of time.
I can't do into any more detail, but I am scared. Six months ago we were living the American life, 2.5 kids a modest home and cars. Now we don't know where the money will come from to pay our bills..... to eat.
It can happen to anyone.

I am not sure how often I will be up to blogging in the near future. I won't be any fun anyway.
I am just so scared.


  1. Hey girl.... I didn't know E had been "farred" as they say down South... I was remiss in keeping up with your blog, especially in the midst of ski season.

    If it's any comfort - and it probably isn't - we'll both be going to the poor house together, as I'm going to be flat-broke, too, by the time this divorce debacle settles. But at least I'll still have a job. I hope.

    But I remember getting laid off way back in the late '80s... and unemployment was worse then than it is now. Living was definitely very lean back then. No extra money to do anything at all. but you know what? The freedom that came along with being able to go for a walk in the middle of the day and basically be able to do what I wanted to do - provided it didn't cost much - made those some of the happiest years of my life. It's a matter of adjusting one's lifestyle to fill that big void. And once you're used to it, you start to wonder how in the heck you got anything done when working full-time! It's like a whole different world out there!

    Now, I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear. I know, the fear of pushing the kids in a shopping cart up and down the street and sleeping under a bridge can be overwhelming.

    But you need to think... what can you do? Have you done everything you can do TODAY to better your situation? Has E? If so, then you have done what you can do, and what will be after that, will be. Fear really is a wasted emotion.

    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to kinow the difference" If you have done all you can do today, then you're at a point where you need the wisdom to know there is nothing more you can do today.

    And, fwiw, the kids will always love you. You'd be surprised, when the crap hits the fan, how little STUFF they really need... what they really want is YOU and E, and they'll be perfectly fine with sleeping under the bridge so long as you two are there with them.

    Anyhow, I'll keep your family in my prayers. Best wishes to all of you!

  2. Is E set on staying in that part of the country or have the resumes been going out regardless of location?

    Also, while I can only keep hoping that suddenly things will work out perfectly, have you made some preparations in case they don't sooner rather than much later? Like getting at least medical assistance through the state for the kids?

    Oh, Erinn, I really do hope none of what you predict will happen. Something has to come open for him, right??

  3. My thoughts will be with you! I lost my job in Feb due to a "bitch of a boss" as you put it. I still have not found anything either, but we are making it just on Mr.Technos salary. It has been hard, will probably get harder, but we are doing it. I have also been doing alot of online stuff just to bring in what extra I can to help and so that we can do SOMETHING, even if it isn't much every once in awhile. So, even if the online stuff is just 50-60 per week it helps us a little.

  4. Anonymous1:38 PM

    I have read your blog for quite awhile, but have never commented. We have a lot in common. A few years ago my husband was laid off when the company he worked for suddenly and unexpectedly went under. I, like you, was a pregnant stay at home mom with two school-aged children. It was a terrible blow. In the beginning, we were positive that it would be just a short time before my husband would be back in the work force since he had a master's degree, glowing recommendations and a great work ethic. We put resumes out, locally at first, and then as the days turned into weeks and months across the U.S.. He enlisted the help of top head hunters - nothing. He was always over qualified for the dozens and dozens of jobs he interviewed for. When money ran out (savings and unemployment), we put our expenses on credit cards (including that ripoff COBRA health insurance). It was when we had reached the bottom, maxed out cards and depleted spirits my husband was offered and took a job with a contract house. It paid okay, but was far from what he had been accustomed to and was a loathsome drive from our house. Although not perfect, it was a mental health boost. Within a year of that he was approached with a tremendous opportunity 200 miles from home which he took. Commuting home on weekends for the first year until our house sold was draining on everyone, but things were certainly improving. Now we are all together, still recovering from the from financial devastation, but not wanting for anything. It was an eye opener for sure and I will never again take for granted what we have because I will always remember how we came "this close" to losing our comforts (including our minds).

    Anyway, sorry this was long winded, but the moral of the story is - from someone who has been in your shoes - it will be good again. It may not be perfect, but it will be good. I promise.


  5. Kristi2:14 PM

    Oh goodness! Hang in there!

  6. Oh man. So sorry to hear how dreary things have become. I am not sure what to say.

    Have any family you can ask for help, or stay with if you can't keep your house??

    You don't have to have happy things to say here. Whatever you feel up to writing, is good enough.

    You have three wonderful children and a fab husband. No one can take that from you!

  7. I'm so sorry, so sorry. I know that doesn't fix anything or make it better but I will be thinking of you and your family.

  8. So much of this lately! My goodness. I can't imagine how scary it must be. Sending warm thoughts!

  9. I'm so sorry :( I hope things turn around for your family soon. I'll keep you in my thoughts!!

  10. I'm so sorry. I really hope he's able to find something soon, and will be thinking about you guys.

  11. Thank you guys for your kind words.
    E is looking in the tri state area (NY/NJ/PA) and is willing to live with one of my family members during the week for a job (the industry demands you live in your "territory")
    We are getting the kids health care through the state.
    We are trying to take things one day at a time.
    When did it become so hard to work if you want to? So many peopel live off the system but that same system kicks you in the ass when you have a family, kids and are trying to hard to find a job.

  12. Jen, you brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for hope.

  13. Hey girl, dig this. I was watching Greta VanFacelift last night, and in the middle of the broadcast, she announced that Congress passed a big $162 billion Iraq war funding bill. But you know what's buried in the middle of it? A 13-week extension of unemployment benefits! Check it..

  14. www.startswithanx.com8:32 AM

    I just found your blog. Man, I am so sorry you're going through that. I'm really worried, during this joke of an economy, that this kind of stuff will become the norm pretty soon and employment will be the rarity.
    Good luck and hang in there. I hope something comes to him very soon.

  15. Hang in there,I am praying for ya.
    Love Shawny


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