Friday, June 27, 2008

Sick

I want to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and keeping us in your prayers.
I do realize that we are all healthy and relatively happy and material things are not the same as that peace. I want to believe things are just things and we don't need them. But....we do.
My children do need a place to live. We need food. We need to work and live and pay bills and breathe. All things that have not been easy these days.

I am sick of thinking "well, that job must not have been meant to be" and "something better will come, it has to" for months now. I am sick of waking up with swollen eyes from crying all night. I am sick of the headaches I get from not eating or drinking enough but I can't take anything stronger then a tylenol because I am nursing. I am sick thinking about how I am going to have to ask a relative for money. I am sick thinking about how maybe I won't get it.
I am sick thinking about how another company called E today to cancel his interview because they "just hired someone else". I am sick about how this has made my husband a different person, a broken person.
I am sick thinking about how we are failing our children. I am sick of pleading with god.

I am sick of being sick.

When is it my turn for my luck to change?

5 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh! I'm so very sorry to hear this. Words can't convey my heartache for you. If you lived in St. Louis area, I'd ask you about your hubby's line of work -- maybe I'd know someone with openings...

    Please keep us updated on how you guys are doing. Sending a million prayers the way of you and your family. And if you've got a Target or a Walgreen's or Shop and Save near you, lemme know...

    ReplyDelete
  2. No answer for that...
    But good for you for venting.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kristi2:51 PM

    ok, now I've got to ask a few questions. My husband is the program director for an A&E firm and I have no clue whether or not I/we can help but if you'd like to send me an email and tell me what he does I'll see if there is ANYthing we can do to help. I know it's not much and its a long shot but ya never know!

    Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so, so sorry ... that is so hard. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete

Talk to me