Friday, June 27, 2008


I want to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and keeping us in your prayers.
I do realize that we are all healthy and relatively happy and material things are not the same as that peace. I want to believe things are just things and we don't need them. But....we do.
My children do need a place to live. We need food. We need to work and live and pay bills and breathe. All things that have not been easy these days.

I am sick of thinking "well, that job must not have been meant to be" and "something better will come, it has to" for months now. I am sick of waking up with swollen eyes from crying all night. I am sick of the headaches I get from not eating or drinking enough but I can't take anything stronger then a tylenol because I am nursing. I am sick thinking about how I am going to have to ask a relative for money. I am sick thinking about how maybe I won't get it.
I am sick thinking about how another company called E today to cancel his interview because they "just hired someone else". I am sick about how this has made my husband a different person, a broken person.
I am sick thinking about how we are failing our children. I am sick of pleading with god.

I am sick of being sick.

When is it my turn for my luck to change?


  1. Oh my gosh! I'm so very sorry to hear this. Words can't convey my heartache for you. If you lived in St. Louis area, I'd ask you about your hubby's line of work -- maybe I'd know someone with openings...

    Please keep us updated on how you guys are doing. Sending a million prayers the way of you and your family. And if you've got a Target or a Walgreen's or Shop and Save near you, lemme know...

  2. No answer for that...
    But good for you for venting.

  3. Kristi2:51 PM

    ok, now I've got to ask a few questions. My husband is the program director for an A&E firm and I have no clue whether or not I/we can help but if you'd like to send me an email and tell me what he does I'll see if there is ANYthing we can do to help. I know it's not much and its a long shot but ya never know!

    Hang in there.

  4. I am so, so sorry ... that is so hard. Hang in there.


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