Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I Am A Thief, But Not a Good One

Today I rang up my prepared tuna fish as a lower priced item at the grocery store*. I was caught by the deli police and told which was the right key to ring it up. I am glad my children weren't there to see Mommy-the-thief in action, which may have scarred them for life.

I once stole a caramel** from my neighborhood drugstore when I was about 6. I hid it in my jewelry box (good spot dummy) and had a stomach ache for days thinking about how wrong it was. Then I threw it out and willed myself to never think about it again, because if I didn't have it in my possession then it was ok. Years later the memory came flooding back and I admitted to my Mother about my stealing ways.

Apparently I don't learn.

*The semi deserved it because they had no candy apples.

**(Is this pronounced cara-mel or carmel? I vote caramel. Plus why the fuck is the word gray spelled with an a, or an e? I vote for a)


  1. THIEF. I'm telling the tuna patrol on you. (heh heh)

    It's CARE-UH-MELL.

    And you know what ... I absolve you of your sin. I'd have thrown a tantrum in the store because there were no candy apples. Bastards.

  2. When I was about 7 I was in a candy store with my mom. She was buying some chocolate for our relatives in the US, and I was starting at some chocolates, thinking of whether or not I should steal some. I had stolen anything in my life, but they looked so good, and I wanted them so bad. I stared and stared and stared for about 3 minutes. Just as I was ready to go grab one, a woman who worked at the store came up and gave me a chocolate. Since then I have never stolen anything.

    Actually that's not true, I stole mach 3 razor blades last year because those fuckers are so expensive!

  3. I say kar-a-mel...and i will confess that i have stolen candy from those candy bins at the supermarket where they have some rusty tin box that you are supposed to put a nickel in for a 'sample'

  4. ok, so if we're all getting confessional and all...

    i stole something. it was really bad of me. i didn't think it was going to be all that bad, but it was. i was taken back to the store and made to give it back, my friends and their mom just happened to be there too.

    i hated my mom for it. but learned a valuable lesson...if you steal, don't get caught!

  5. car-a-mel. i say. gray. i think it's all english to go all earl grey. but i do love lovely colours. in fact, i find that u sneaking up on me so often these days, i just leave it in. the flavour, the colour...

    INXS is on. is it suicide blond? blonde??

    i tried to post the other day and i couldn't...so i'm catching up and letting you know that my poodle that i had...it WAS a big one. that is what "standard" poodles are. they are the only ones good for anything. in france, they used to use them for hunting. they woof, they don't yap. there. now i feel free for speaking my poodle truth.

    and while i'm not that big of a fan of caramel, i do love the caramello. yum.

  6. opaco, even if you don't get caught you get a stomach ache. That sucks.

    Smussy, so you were the big poodle owner. Interesting. I know they do bark One lived by us and he and his poodle brother would bark at me constantly when I would be by their house.

  7. MN I would steal Mach blades too, those are friggin expensive. What a rip.

  8. LOL, did your jewelry box have a small mirror and one of those spinning ballerinas in it? Because mine did. And it had stolen candy in it too.

  9. Some Girl, Yes it did! Are you a spy?


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