Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Nada

I have been staring at this blank page for ten minutes. The blinking cursor is mocking me, you have nothing to write, you are an idiot, nobody cares what you have to say. You get the drift.
I think I will go back to an old post & reiterate some points that I am passionate about.

As we all know, spring is here. Birds chirping, bees buzzing, kids playing and sandals are being worn. I would like all of you to pay attention to this next piece of information because it is not advise, it is a law. You MAY NOT wear sandals without your toes being painted (this does not ring true for boys, unless that is your cup of tea. But men, please groom appropriately) or at the very least a nice pedicure. Pedicures are very inexpensive and can last weeks. Please know that this could very well be the best $10 you will spend. Nobody wants to look at feet, but if you dress them up, they can be tolerated.

Men, NOBODY likes a hairy back and or shoulders. Nobody. Your wife may put up with it, but few will. Please go get it waxed. Sure it hurts but let me tell you something, so does your period, carrying a baby or actually having that child exit your body. Don't be a baby.
Really I don't care how you get rid of your hair, just do it.
It is so gross.
Yes, that is right, you are gross.
I swear.

Lastly, the HIS/HERS matching clothing I am sure is being released from its winter storage spot this instant, just getting ready for some boardwalk action. I must tell you that wearing a matching shirt with your husband with your names on it or some other ridiculous thing is GAY. We can tell your a couple because you are holding hands and sharing a corndog. No need to advertise.

I hope you take this tips into consideration. Please try to pass these points on to someone you know that needs help.
Together we can conquer the world.

11 comments:

  1. "Men, NOBODY likes a hairy back and or shoulders. Nobody. Your wife may put up with it, but few will. Please go get it waxed."

    ::::Remembering the many occasions when I asked Ash-holio to get his back waxed and threatened to do it with duct tape if he didn't comply. Damn I wish I'd gone ahead and done it. Hee!:::

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  2. we have triplets and thet are 7...we put them in matching clothes when we go to fairs festivals etc..that way if one turns up missing we know what he was wearing...

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  3. I was in the elevator this morning with a girl who had sandals on. She had a lovely pedicure, that wasn't the problem, but she had a crooked toe.

    The toe next to her pinky toe was all kinds of jacked up crooked, I am talking almost a 90 degree angle here. So I think you should add a rule that all people with crooked toes shouldn't wear sandals at all.

    I couldn't stop staring at the toe, it creeped me out.

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  4. Beej, you should ahve waxed him with old nasty duct tape. then poored alcohol all over his back!

    Allen, that is a great idea. matching clothes for kids=cute
    matching adult graffiti shirts=bad.

    vee, you are right/

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  5. GREAT advice. I went to wear sandals the other day b/c it was warm, saw the condition of my feet, and decided to put on sneakers. Pedicure first, sandals second.

    And I whole-heartedly support the man-waxing. We wax our most private of areas, they can wax their backs!!!!

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  6. man, you sure are in jersey, huh?! ;)

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  7. We took the kid to Disneyland to day and let me tell you that matching his/her clothes is just not a NJ boardwalk thing. It is also worse when matching mickey mouse ears are thrown into the mix. Glad that you had a great birthday!

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  8. I know a man, whose back is so hairy it sticks out from the top of his shirt collar. EEEEEEEWWWW! I totally second the back waxing.

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  9. I am a man who has hair on his back, not much but I don't like it either. It not the waxing, its the afterwards. Alot of men after waxing tend to get large pimples and/or boils. Us a hair removel cream. I often get pedicures myself because I often wear hiking boots which help the feet get thru the next march. Now if a person feet is ugly, don't look. A friend of mine had his foot almost blown off because of a mine in Desert Storm (1991). He always liked to wear sandals, he then started wearing them with sox. I told him screw everybody who thinks otherwise, go back to being normal. AND for the HIS/HERS matching shirts or whatever. My Aunt gave my wife and I matching shirts for when we travel. Of course we chuckled and did not care wear them until my Aunt passed away. We wear them at least once while on a trip. And if nobody likes it, Tough.

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  10. As a guy who has noticed a few back hairs here and there show up as I get older (and ear hair... no one mentioned that crap was going to happen), I can only plead for understanding. I'm happily married and my wife doesn't seem to mind. I suppose if she did then I'd probably submit to duct taping or whatever (I'm so whipped... that wasn't the plan either, but then you fall in love, etc..).

    No offense to Vee but c'mon - Ugly Toe Police ? Where does it end? The government would collapse under the expense of operating all the fashion and personal-grooming prisons we would need.

    My wife has lovely toes but let me be the first to suggest that ugly toed girls need love too. If it freaks you out, look away. Ditto: hairy moles, missing limbs, man-hands on women (that's what makes me all squicky), and the myriad of other things that make us all different.

    We all can't look like supermodels.

    Just a thought from F'ugly ol' Eric

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  11. What a great title. You have a great blog. I was searching for clear skin when I landed here. I've got a similar site related to clear skin you might want to check out.

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