I am a desperate housewife.
I like the smell of old books.
The way the air smells on the first spring day makes me melancholy.
I love my television and TiVo a little too much.
I am a romantic.
I always knew I would have twins.
I want to be the girl with the most cake.
Constantine got booted last night on American Idol. What is up with that? No really, who voted for Scott, the girlfriend beater? I really hate this show, but I find myself watching every week. Anthony & Porky Pig are SO much worse then Constantine. I thought he would win considering all the girls loved him and we all know this show exists because of teenage girls.
Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes?! Katie, he is too old and strange for you, just say no to Scientology and go back to Dawson. I can't stand to lose one more person to scientology. It is just wrong man.
Did anyone see Oprah yesterday? They had loads of desperate women who want this comedian turned author to tell them the truth about their relationship. I mean it is crazy to think that they should talk about the relationship with the actual person they are in the relationship with right? Anywhoo, these chicks had problems like "we have been dating for months but still nobody knows who I am, it is a secret" and "he left me at the alter, but I really want closure & to see why he didn't want me". Ladies, please. It makes me so sick to see grown women thinking this is a problem. He keeps you a secret? MOVE ON. He left you at the alter? MOVE ON. He hits you, puts you down, hates all of your friends, never has a job or doesn't like animals? MOVE ON.
It is overcast here today & it totally fits my mood. I remembered at 9:45 last night that I forgot to take my sleeping pill, it was too late then because I wouldn't have enough sleep and in the morning I would have a hangover. Our daughter was in bed with us because she had been screaming in her crib for 20 minutes. Then I notice both her & E were asleep mouths agape. I told E to roll over about 5 times because of his snoring. I finally had to make him go sleep in the other room. Then the dog starts snoring. Just great. I probably had about 3 hours sleep last night. Now I have the jitters because I had too much coffee. This day sucks already.
I ordered a potty training book, and I hope it comes soon because 4 shitty diapers a day is killing me. I am sick of changing diapers. I have done it every day at least 4 times a day for 27 months now. I really have to be serious about it now, I am ready for my kids to be potty trained. Any tips or hints for me?
Yesterday my sister who is 7 months pregnant asked me to be in the delivery room with her & her husband. This means that my Mom will have to be the one in the waiting room. My Mom says she is fine with this since she was there for her first delivery. I am so excited. I get to be a part of a birth! I wasn't even a part of mine because I had a emergency C-Section at 38 weeks 6 days. The hospital that we use is amazing but they are VERY strict on visitor and maternity ward rules. It is for the safety of the brandy new babies so I understand, they will not be featured on A Baby Story anytime soon, if you know what I mean.
In other news I am looking for Mother's Day gifts for many people this year & I have no idea. Although I found the perfect gift for my mother in law, this, thanks to Melissa. It is perfect and I am sure will be all the rage in the retirement community where she lives. I am sure May 9th I will receive hundreds of calls of where the old bags can get shirts like that of their very own. Because daughter in laws are horrible, dumb, conniving bitches out to steal their perfect sons. Puuuuleeaze.
Sorry I haven't written in a few days, but really my life has been too mundane to write about.
I was watching Survivor yesterday and a few things hit me as I was watching it. I know they are on the island for 38 days or something like that, with just the clothes on their back. I just realized they are spending all that time in the same underwear. That is so freaking gross. I think that is worse then no deodorant or no toothpaste. Seriously high temperatures, no soap, sweat, physical challanges, PERIODS and no change of underwear. These people are crazy. I need my million to be tax free for no change of underwear. Perhaps that is why Richard Hatch decided not to pay his taxes silly little freak that he is.
Then I remembered these people didn't get to bring a "luxury item" like in the past. People have brought cards, state flags, backgammon things of that nature. I would bring chapstick. I am thoroughly addicted to chapstick and could never be without it especially in a hot desert beach. I would bring minimally two standard black chapsticks. Maybe a cherry so if I was really, really hungry I could eat it. E & I have discussed this. I would smuggle it onto the island if I had to. Even in an orifice.
There are a ton of dandelions in our yard. I told E to hire someone to fix the bare spot & put down some fertilizer this year, but he wanted to do it himself. He bought Scott turfbuilder dandelion control and spread it all over our lawn. Apparently it doesn't work. On the bright side the babies love the "yewool flowers".
I remember being a little girl, maybe 5 or so in my grandmothers backyard. There were a million dandelions and I would love to pick them for my mother. She would always put them in a little dixie cup on the window sill. I wondered why more people didn't pick them, why I never had seen them sold at flower shops. My mom told me they were weeds not really flowers but she loved them anyway. She never threw them out when I wasn't looking, assuming I would forget about them. I love her for that.
It was a gorgeous weekend here in NJ, I couldn't get enough of it. Beautiful. We went to an animal rescue place around here for a hike and to check out some of the animals that can no longer be released into the wild. The babies loved it and so did E & I. We also bought a new grill and we BBQ the crap out of yesterday. I loooooove my new grill. We bought it at BJ's and I loooove BJs. Where else can you get a grill, 54 bagel dogs and 100 pantyliners all under the same roof?
The kids are feeling better but are not 100%. I actually just changed two diapers that I cannot believe held that much crap. It was seriously gross, and believe me I have changed my fair share of poops. At least I didn't have to change their clothes, it all stayed in. Thanks Pampers!
Today I am getting a manicure & pedicure. My feet are so dry, I cannot wait. It will be the highlight of my day. I am going to a new joint so I will be on the lookout for cleanliness and massage pedicure chairs. Then maybe on to JCrew where I am in need of shorts and some new T shirts. And I love this. What do you think is a must have for this summer?
Well, Baby A & B are sick with a little cold. Baby A's cold went into his chest and he needed a nebulizer for his meds so he will stop wheezing. Poor kids. It is so sad to see them so tired and weak but try to play. Very cute, I love them with more love then one person should have. We are going to Toys R Us today to get them bikes. Baby A has been asking for a "yellow bike" for a week now. He would LOVE a john Deere tractor ride on, he is fascinated with tractors. Such a boy.
Why did they remake Amityville Horror? Did it need to be remade? Seriously.
Nothin much going on here this weekend. Tomorrow we are thinking of going to a animal rehabilation center around here & maybe do some planting. Our yard needs a lot of TLC.
I really don't have any time to write toady, which is good for me because I have nothing to write about. My babies are sick and I think I have to take them to the doctor. They started with runny noses little coughs, but now I think my son is wheezing. I have asthma and when I was pregnant my pediatrician told me the chance of my kids having asthma is pretty high, so I am nervous.
Wish us well, there is nothing worse then a sick baby unless you have two sick babies!
I need your help. My sister is having another baby in June. Her oldest is almost 5 so her baby "stuff" has been given away or tossed. I, being the great sister and Aunt that I am, have decided to buy her a stroller for the baby. As you may or may not know, I have twins therefore had to buy only twin strollers which was a very limited search. I know nothing about single strollers. She would like one what she can use with a car seat. So ladies, which stroller do you recommend?
I have been staring at this blank page for ten minutes. The blinking cursor is mocking me, you have nothing to write, you are an idiot, nobody cares what you have to say. You get the drift. I think I will go back to an old post & reiterate some points that I am passionate about.
As we all know, spring is here. Birds chirping, bees buzzing, kids playing and sandals are being worn. I would like all of you to pay attention to this next piece of information because it is not advise, it is a law. You MAY NOT wear sandals without your toes being painted (this does not ring true for boys, unless that is your cup of tea. But men, please groom appropriately) or at the very least a nice pedicure. Pedicures are very inexpensive and can last weeks. Please know that this could very well be the best $10 you will spend. Nobody wants to look at feet, but if you dress them up, they can be tolerated.
Men, NOBODY likes a hairy back and or shoulders. Nobody. Your wife may put up with it, but few will. Please go get it waxed. Sure it hurts but let me tell you something, so does your period, carrying a baby or actually having that child exit your body. Don't be a baby. Really I don't care how you get rid of your hair, just do it. It is so gross. Yes, that is right, you are gross. I swear.
Lastly, the HIS/HERS matching clothing I am sure is being released from its winter storage spot this instant, just getting ready for some boardwalk action. I must tell you that wearing a matching shirt with your husband with your names on it or some other ridiculous thing is GAY. We can tell your a couple because you are holding hands and sharing a corndog. No need to advertise.
I hope you take this tips into consideration. Please try to pass these points on to someone you know that needs help. Together we can conquer the world.
Thank you all for your birthday wishes, I had a very nice birthday and you guys made my day. Friday we had a great dinner with E's friends. They were so nice they exceeded my expectations. They loved the dinenr too so it was a success!
E did a great job this birthday, he knew I wanted a new pocketbook because mine was old & too small for a Mom to have. He got a new one for me and a necklace. He also bought me new sneakers but they were a size too small so I have to return them. My brothers party was fun on Saturday & my kids had a blast, they love playing with their cousins.
Yesterday we headed to the mall to meet Dora. Very cute, the kids were in awe. We met my Mom my sister & my nephew there & had lunch. All in all a very nice weekend. The weather was gorgeous here. I hope you all had a great weekend too.
Tonight we are having one of E's friends from work and his new wife over for dinner. This is all new to me. I have never met these people so I am frantically cooking & cleaning. It took me forever to decide what to cook (I almost threw in the towel and ordered something from chick-fil-a) but I finally decided on chicken marsala, rice pilaf and broccoli. Do you guys think that is a good choice?
Tomorrow is the big day. My Birthday. Enough said. We also have out last day of Gymboree for awhile, we are not going to sign up for the spring classes. We will do it again in the summer.
Sunday we are going up to North Jersey to go visit Dora the Explorer's house. They are having a life size replica that you can walk through and you can take pictures with Dora, the works. The kids will love it I am sure. Any Jersey peeps going to be there?
So that is my weekend in a nut shell. What is everyone else up to?
Just kidding. I love him so much and I am more happy with him then I ever thought I could be. He is patient with me and kind, he is romantic & sweet. He always thinks of my & the babies first and his life is dedicated to us. I knew he would be a great Father but he has exceeded my expectations. He loves them and to see my babies in his arms, makes the world ok again, it melts my heart. We have been through a lot in this past year, my depression, buying a new house, the terrible twos, but if he is by my side I know it will be alright. Thank you E for loving me, for caring for me and for being a fantastic husband and Dad. Thank you for putting lotion on my feet and scratching my back at night. Thank you for putting up with me and staying up until I can fall asleep. Thank you for promising me forever and sticking to it. Thank you for being my rock. Thank you for all of your love. I love you.
I find the whole Pope funeral/rituals/picking of a new pope thing fascinating. I am watching every bit I can of it on TV, I cannot believe how long that line is just to pass him by and pay respects. But there is one thing I cannot stop thinking about. It is crazy and I wish it would stop popping into my head.
I am thinking about the man or men who "prepared" his body. They were probably the only ones besides hi mother, who ever saw him naked. I find that extra fascinating.
My kids are trying to give up their morning nap. I am in complete denial. Why are they torturing me like this? Also I am now finding Baby B naked from the waist down in her crib. This trend is semi disturbing. I guess I could change thir nap to a afternoon nap, but how are we supposed to do anything if they have an afternoon nap? What is up with that?
I have a busy week, E's birthday is tomorrow & I have to go buy food for his "birthday dinner" of stuffed shells, and a homemade cake. E invited a friend of his & his wife over for dinner on Friday so I still don't know what to cook for that, and then Saturday is my birthday & my brother's birthday party. Busy, busy busy.
At least E is older then me. That makes me feel better.
I hate people with 892364 stuffed animals in the rear window of their car. Why, dude, why? Usually these people are 60 years old, which is bizarre also. Are these toys your friends? Are you using them so you can have access to the carpool lane? Do you think not being able to see out of your rearview window is a good idea?