Thursday, August 31, 2006
I can't smell, or taste.
I can't swallow without my throat hurting.
I can't sleep with my mouth closed.
I can't go up the stairs without being out of breath.
I can't go 10 minutes without blowing my nose 15 times.
I did go to the store this morning to get ingredients for chicken pot pie soup. I don't know how I did it.
I just hope my kids who do have little colds don't get worse and that E gets home from work soon.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
I get it.
I don't feel great today, this dreary, rainy weather doesn't help. I am fighting off a headache and I feel a chest cold coming on.
How am I supposed to fight off this terrible cold when my favorite soup store will not have my "chicken pot pie filling" soup for another two weeks?
Why, is there a chicken soup shortage in NJ that I wasn't aware about?
Really I could make the darn soup myself but that brings about the question as to how committed I am about this soup. Committed enough to go to the store with two kids, buy ingredients then wait hours while I make it?
Honestly I was just up to call E and ask him to pick me up the soup on his way home.
That was as far as I wanted to go with it.
I really hate being sick in the summer, no good comfort foods.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Here is my makeup bag and its contents:
Here we have my trusted old makeup bag, big enough to carry a small child. I have various lipglosses, Mac Lipglass in Culture and Beaux and Juicytube in Miracle.
Loreal mascara that I never use, because it sucks. I only use Clinique mascara, it is the only wand I like and I have tried them all.
Various brow brushes and a Mac cheek brush that is part of a set which may be my prized possesion. Also some eye liners. One in black the other in charcoal grey.
Eye lash curler. Love it.
Mac blush in Slave to Love and Springsheen (which is my new love)
Clinique shadows in soft shimmer, be mine, seashell pink, fawn satin, beach plum, double date and a couple more that the names are scratched off of.
This is just one of my makeup bags mind you, I have another smaller one behind it and I just couldn't document all of my shit. There also may, or may not be some more makeup in my bathroom and about 8 more lipsticks in my purse.
I also have a massive container of Neutrogena lotion sesame formula which is so light and smells SO good. It is my favorite. I also have a vat of lotion to the right in creme brulee scent. Good, but you want to lick yourself after you put it on.
As a bonus I will show you more lotions and my perfumes. Voila!
They don't start until next Tuesday and they are only going two half days, but already I have a ton of questions.
What do I pack for lunch? I guess I need to buy disposable spoons so if they don't come back with the lunch I won't be patting down the staff looking for my good spoons. Do you always wear sneakers to school? What if they don't make any friends? Do I give the kids the "nobody touches your private parts" speech now?
I know I am freaking out a little bit, but my babies are going to leave me four hours a day twice a week and do their own thing! That is major.
Wasn't it yesterday they were kicking in my belly? I could have sworn that was just yesterday.
Monday, August 28, 2006
I told him no because when I do let him "sleep" in the other room he gets up and plays with his toys instead of sleeping.
Now he is screaming and crying, mostly because he is tired, but also because he is stubborn. Like his mother.
Now I am wondering who is getting punished here? Me because I have to listen to his crying for a silly reason or him because I am not giving in to him?
Should you give in or will that teach children that is they cry long, or hard enough they eventually will get their way?
Should you always stand your ground because that teaches kids consequences, or what Mom says goes?
I try to let myself give in to the kids if I decided it is not worth the battle. I have to watch myself trying to keep my word just to let them know who is the boss instead of letting them get away with things every once in awhile.
It really is a fine line.
My daughter already knows that if she asks me something and I say "no" or "later" to go right to her father and ask him.
I think that is advanced. I thought I would have to wait another 5 years before I saw that behavior.
Obviously our children are beyond sneaky already.
Little do they know, their Mother is the queen of all sneaks.
Friday, August 25, 2006
If that is not a good sister, I don't know what is.
Today I feel much better, I had a decent nights sleep, the first one in almost three weeks. Sleep makes everything better.
Today we will take the kids to an indoor play park, which will be slightly boring for us, but will tire all the kids out, which in the long run, is great for us.
Big things are going on in the Tuesday household. Changes, good and scary.
I will elaborate next week sometime. Sorry for being mysterious but I have to get things clear in my head first and E and I have to talk about some things before I can talk to you about them.
It is only fair.
Other then that, I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend and I will be doing a new meme this weekend for the kids.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
- Feeling sad all the time. I am sick of it and want to snap out of it.
- Not having the "me" money I had before the kids were born. Just money to spend any way I feel like it, on whatever I want without feeling guilty.
- cooking the same dinners over and over ( I really don't but it feels that way)
- not having any good books to read, any suggestions?
- having to wait until October 4 for new episodes of Lost
- not sleeping well at night
- my scalp being so dry, I need to find out why and get some new shampoo or something
- the lock on my stove is broken so when I put it on for self clean, it gives me an error message. We can't figure it out and I will have to pay $65 to Sears just for someone to come out & look. Parts, labor and whatever else is all additional. WTF? The thought of using chemicals to clean the oven and then baking my food in the fumes is not that appealing to me. I have to get this fixed.
- This freak who thinks wearing an orange jumpsuit to court will make him seem guilty to a jury, after he admits killing Jonbenet Ramsey. I think he is a liar and a freak anyway so jail is a great place for him.
- cleaning the playroom 45 times a day
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I always congratulate the Mother on her new arrival and I always say how cute the baby is.
Sometimes that is a lie.
Yes, I lie to new Mothers and even a few old Mothers, and tell them how cute their kids are, when in reality I don't think they are that cute.
Lets face it, newborn babies are rarely cute, some look like aliens, others look like garbage pail kids and if they are born with a lot of hair some look like baby monkeys. I say they are cute because I am giving them the benefit of the doubt. They may be cute some day!
Not all kids are gorgeous, they will be to you, because they are your kids. Am I a terrible person for leading a parent on, telling them how cute I think their kids are, when in truth they are really not?
I mean when in doubt, just compliment the baby.
So next time you are out strolling your baby and you meet me, and I tell you your baby "is just adorable" make sure I am not twitching.
If I am, then just keep strolling.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Yesterday we went to a birthday party for the son of one of my friends from work. It was a far trip but the kids had a great time. She had a pony for the kids to take some rides on. It turns out all the kids besides Baby B and one other little girl were scared of the pony and wouldn't ride him. So Baby B rode the pony almost for the full hour uninterrupted. She had a blast.
A didn't want anything to do with that horse and when I made him sit on him, cried to get down. I think he would have loved it if he gave it a chance but I am not going to torture him.
Who knew pony rides were torture.
Not my sister who asked for a pony every birthday and Christmas until she was 20. No, she never got one.
But hey, I never got the drum set I asked for either.
My parents put their sanity over their child's Christmas wish.
Good for them, I will have to teach that lesson to my kids early. Mom and Dad will try to get you great gifts as long as it doesn't poop, isn't loud or have anything to do with the wiggles.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
The weather is dreary here today and, in normal fashion, my mood is following suit. I am bored, and restless.
The job I went to see about yesterday was offered to me, but at less pay then I want. I will go tonight to see about another job that is a possibility for me, if the pay is right.
Tomorrow we will leave for the beach for three days, a little break from reality. I will get to eat my favorite ice cream and sit on the beach and watch my kids play in the sand and beg me to catch sand crabs for them.
I will do it and love every minute of it.
Monday, August 14, 2006
The kids are starting preschool after labor day and it is costing a small fortune. I have decided to roll up my sleeves and find a job part time that will cover that expense and maybe even meet some new friends in the process.
I had an interview today with a club in the next town over. I would be working some nights and weekends and it is an relatively easy job. The thing I am bummed about is that it seems to have a lot of down time. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a high stress job but I do want to occupy the hours I have to be there. There is nothing worse then sitting around watching the clock, dying to be at home.
Nonetheless, I have to do this for my family, so I think I will take the position if it is offered to me, which I am confident it will be.
I wish I could find something more lucrative, but until i find out what I would like to do, this is it.
I guess I am just melancholy today, I am feeling a little down and tired from being up half the night last night.
E & I are going to the beach again on Wednesday until Saturday and I am sure that will make me feel better.
Sun and fun always makes me feel better.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
5 things I can't do:
* touch my tongue to my nose
*bite into an ice cream
*see far away without my glasses
*make any friends here
5 things I can do:
*drop two eggs from my ovaries at a time
*remember anything and everything including what I wore for the first day of school in kindergarten
5 things I want to do before I die:
*spend a month in Ireland
* sit on my porch and watch my grandchildren play in the yard
*go to Europe
*move closer to my hometown
*have another baby
5 things I say most often:
*What are you doing?
*We are going to target
5 movies I can watch over and over again:
*Nightmare on Elm Street
*Fools Rush In ( don't ask)
5 shows I love to watch:
*Curb Your Enthusiasm
5 places I have been on vacation:
* St. Lucia
5 of my favorite foods:
* any seafood
* Mexican food
Exciting huh? Thanks again Kelly.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
I wonder what went on while we were gone that it smells like patchouli, and I am really grossed out by it. I will have to ask E when he gets home.
I am sure it was some sort of debauchery.
My family's beach house is amazing. It is a new huge and beautiful home filled with wonderfully soft towels, soft linens and endless bottles of water. The kids and I had a great time.
The first day out B was pushed down by a wave and that was it for the water for the next two days. Yesterday she finally got enough courage to slink back down to the waters edge and try jumping over the waves that trickled in. I am proud of her, she was overcoming her fear and I think that she is very brave.
Baby A was in the water with me, nonstop. It didn't take long for him to go from jumping the waves, to laying on a boogie board on the shore line to in the ocean with me, jumping the big waves like a pro. He was splashed in the face a few times and fell but he got right back up.
He only wanted to go into the ocean though, so I had to convince him a few times to play with his sand toys while I relaxed and read a magazine.
The kids were great on the beach, even napping in the sand and playing nicely. We were on the beach for at least 5 hours yesterday and they were perfect angels the entire time.
I actually did get a little tan and the kids didn't get burned, which was my main concern. I applied, and reapplied about 4 times on all of yesterday. I am fair but I tan and my kids have my coloring I think, but you can't take any chances when it comes to being outside without sunscreen.
The only downside to my mini vacation was that I have been missing my Dad a lot lately and thinking about him often. The ocean does that to me, because it is where some of my fondest childhood memories took place.
I am trying not to dwell on it to much because I am just so happy to have had a little break at the beach, even if E wasn't there to help.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
I am sure you are upset.
No really, I will be back.
Stop crying, I will be back before you know it.
Before I go, i wanted to talk about this article I read and I even saw a report about it on one of those morning shows.
I really am not too shocked about how people reacted to the picture of a baby breastfeeding. Breast in this country are for sexual purposes only, and if you see a picture of the breast for its intended use, well, that is disgusting.
I hate that women are forced to hide to breastfeed their children, for fear of men or children might see what is a natural happening, a child being fed.
I think we need to support more women in doing what is best for their children, and breastfeeding is what is best, even the formula companies agree with that.
Now, I am stepping off my soap box and going to the beach.
Friday, August 04, 2006
I am going to my Aunt's beach house with my kids but leaving the husband at home so he can work.
Not really because he will be the one getting a break while I am watching two kids and trying not to let them break the brand new house we will be staying in.
I have done this once before, I am just hoping this will be much easier because last time they were 18 months old, and that was a disaster.
Too hard to do by myself.
Now they are more independent, they don't like to eat sand and are allowed on stairs by themselves.
I am just hoping to be able to have fun with my family and get drunk every night, and not worry about the kids because they are so worn out by the days fun and sun, that they are passed out in blissful sleep for 13 hours.
At the very least I am expecting a tan.
Lets see how that goes.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
I think you are always aware it will be hard but it is still one of those things you never know how tough, or stressful it will be until you have that first baby.
I know I had expectations on how I was going to raise my children when I was pregnant. I had been around babies and small children all my life, I knew more then most first time Moms, what I didn't know was how short I would fall of those expectations.
I thought I would be a perfect stay at home mom, feed them only organic, no preservative laden foods, they would always be on a routine, I would go out and do something with them every day, I would be in great shape because I would be home with plenty of time and energy for exercising.
There would be crafts and school lessons every day!
Real life didn't go that way. Yes, we mostly eat organic and yes, they have always been on a great schedule, but when I didn't expect was how hard it all was.
I didn't know about how I would second guess every disciplinarian decision I made, or if I was ruining my kids by not have enough interaction with other kids. How I feel terrible I can't afford to do more classes or activities with them. I just didn't know how tired every day I would be and intolerable whining and fighting is.
This past weekend I spent time with my good friend who is seven months pregnant. Hearing her tell tales of what she will and won't do when the baby comes and how great things will be, I just smiled.
I will never tell her that is not how things will be, that is for her to learn, in time. When she finds out that strict schedules, Einstein classes and bathing suits for a one month olds are great only in theory, I will be there to tell her that your expectations change, and it is ok.
I will tell her it is better then she could have ever imagined.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
It is supposed to be 104 here today and the heat index is going to be 115.
This is New Jersey people, this is not Arizona where it is a "dry" heat. It is So humid when you walk outside the heat hits you in the face like a wall. An oppressive, hot, wet wall.
They also say the air quality is so bad, that you shouldn't be outside today at all.
What is that all about?
Today the kids and I are going to the free movies to watch Babe, and then I need to find a cover up for my bathing suit.
Fun for all! Limited time outside!
God, I love summer.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
I see my Grandmother often, but that is when I go home and visit her, she only comes here once a year because I don't get that many visitors and when my family does come they sleep over and spend the weekend. My Grandfather would never part with his wife for that amount of time, so she only makes a day visit once a year.
I love my Grandmother dearly, she is one of the most important people in my life. To have her here in the house I made with my husband and playing with my kids makes me proud and very happy.
I hope she lives forever because when she dies, I know I will never be the same.
I really need a manicure. That is one of those cheap things that just makes a woman feel so much better about life. A manicure and pedicure is just heaven and, men, I highly suggest you make a nice appointment for your wife every once in awhile if she doesn't go herself. You will get BIG bonus points.
Manicures are one of those things I just can't do myself very well. I never can paint my nails as well or get my cuticles in line.
I am also strange about my color choices. I like darker colors for my toes and lighter colors for my nails. In the winter I will wear darker colors on my nails sometimes, but I generally prefer light colors. I am not a red girl. I occasionally try to wear red, but it really isn't my color.
I also only use essie nail polish because I think OPI peels on me.
I think a manny/peddy is in order for this week. I think I will make an appointment right now.