Thursday, June 21, 2007

Compliment or Judgement

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world to me."

Those words were spoken to me last night. Hey, compliments are hard to come by so I usually never take one for granted, but the to me part? Backhanded compliment or am I being sensitive?
You are so beautiful, to me, but to everyone else you are fug-ly!
That is how I took it.

Can women take compliments without thinking? Are we even capable of that? Do you get "you look nice in that shirt" without hearing "that is the only shirt you have that doesn't make you look fat" or "you look nice today" without "finally! you look semi decent" in your head?
Is this something only women struggle with? Can men just take a "that is a nice suit" compliment and move on?
Why must women think more of it or more into it?
It infuriates me that the awkward, unsure girl of 14 is still lurking in my mind reminding me that I don't compare, that I have no reason for confidence. I want her gone and replaced by the secure, mature woman I really want to be.
I so want to be.
Will she ever go, or will there be a reminder of her even when I am old and grey and don't care anymore?

Until then I see this conversation in my not-so-distant future:
Me: your penis is soo big
E: thank you
Me: to me
E: ??????
Me: : )


  1. ROFL I'm not good accepting compliments either. I get all flustered and stuff. Personally just admire me from afar or something - otherwise I feel like a deer in the headlights LOL.

  2. Well, you're being entirely too sensitive. Almost looking to pick a fight with this one, it seems. But if you want to understand why the to me qualifier is probably appropriate, just remember... beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That said, most men would find, say, Giselle Bundchen more physically attractive than any IRL wimmens they know... hence the qualifier. And, in the interest of equal opportunity, Trish has already told me she'd hook up with Tom Brady for a night, given the opportunity. It's OK. I know she's got about as much chance of that happening as I've got of nailing Giselle. And I'll readily admit I ain't no Tom Brady in the looks department. Or in the money department. Or the youth department.

  3. UR, Still not that great of a compliment. How about saying it without the "to me" part.

    Of course there are more beautiful woman in the world then myself, I understand that. Judging from the comments I get on myspace from all the younger boys, I could maybe hold me own though.

  4. No, I'm with UR here. Would you actually believe that you ARE the most beautiful woman in the world if told? The "to me" in there to me sounds less like sunshine getting blown up your skirt than some random superlative statement. I guess if you have a giant pause between "beautiful woman" and "to me" I might worry more.

    I find that sometimes men are just as unwilling to accept a compliment as a compliment as women. Women put more judgements on it; I think men take it as an indication you want to get into their pants. :\

  5. Sometimes we women look too far into things. I can see how you might question the compliment but, somehow I don't think he meant it the way you took it. I've seen your picture before and you are lovely.

    To me.

    j/k...I'm sure he meant it the way you hope he meant it.

  6. bibi, you made me laugh!

  7. My husband once said to me, "You look very buxom today." and was completely confused as to why I smacked him right in his stupid head.

    Cause you know, BUXOM! That's a GREAT compliment. I am still pissed about that one.

  8. HA! Just IMAGINE if you said that ... ha ha ha ha.


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